First grade and Kinderstart. And a mom with no sleep

Oh brother. Where to begin with THIS post. Ugh.

Miles started First grade on Tuesday. Drop off was NOTHING like last year. He was a happy Star Wars clad fool! Seriously. I don't think he could have been happier, or more excited for all day school, lunch, and recess. Not to mention seeing a friend of his who told him last year, "I'm moving to Florida. I'll miss you best friend." We found out last week at Meet the Teacher night that his friend would sit just 2 rows over from him in class. Hilarious.

So this is my happy Star Wars kiddo. I'm not joking about the Star Wars. He was wearing his Star Wars shirt, Star Wars backpack, Star Wars lunch box, and I'm pretty sure he was wearing his Star Wars underwear.

Claire's first full day without her brother was tough. I think she had a hard time. The kids play together all the time, and she just kinda watched her movie, sighing now and again, and then looked over at me with a face that said, I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself-I'm-all-alone-in-the-world. She was almost as pathetic as this scene from The Jerk minus all the collecting of shit.



She just watched her little Barbie movie and hung out with me and my mom. It was pathetic.


Once Miles got home, he was bouncing off the ceiling. This boy LOVES school! He loves every single thing about it. WHEW! I wasn't sure. The all day school thing was a bit nerve wracking for me, but...he's still alive and still loving it.

Claire also started a new class at her preschool. It's called Kinderstart. She loves it too, but after the end of last year, I wasn't sure how she'd do. She cried every day last year from March until just about the last week of school. It was very odd, since she was fine for the first part of her year. Oh well...

Claire feels like she is a "big" kid now that she can: write her own name, my name and Miles' name just from memory, recite her phone number and address, and tie her own shoes. I am not kidding. I have no idea where she learned all this stuff. Miles can't tie HIS own shoes even if there was a Star Wars blaster to his head.

Claire on her first day!

Claire in mid shoe tie. She's serious about this shoe tying business.

I know you're all dying to know, "how did mom fair during this transition?" Let me tell you. I faired shitty. S-H-I-T-T-Y!

I got no sleep. None. Ryan was out of town for the week in South Carolina, and the kids slept in my room. Claire didn't go to sleep until after 10 every night. I have NO idea why. And I had to be up by 5:45 or 6 every morning. And let me tell you. It was usually 5:40 because I was sweating the whole getting the kids to school on time thing.

Miles has to be in the car ready to go at 7:50. It doesn't seem that early, but when you have a kid who eats breakfast like it's their last meal, and savors every bite they take, even when every bite takes 10 minutes each to put in his damn pie hole....*sigh* breathe......it takes a while. And I have to wake crabby, tired, no going to sleep at a decent time, little miss morning tantrum, Whoooo hoooo! It's a great time in the Teepants house at around 6:15 am. Thank god most people's windows are shut. How embarrassing. For them.

Eh..set aside all the sleep issues, I had meetings up the wahzoo. Who knew being the VP of the preschool's PTO would involve so much "meeting". I mean, don't get me wrong. Most, if not all, the meetings were necessary. We have the big fall fundraiser coming up, so we're all kinds of kicking it into high gear...but...I'm tired. So I'm salty about it.

And then I met with an attorney to get some estate planning done. Don't even get on me about NOT having that done yet. It's not the most pleasant thing to be discussing when my husband is out of town. But we decided it was time. Well...it involved yet another meeting. And I had to bring Claire with me. Mistake.

She's usually a good kid. But for some reason, sitting in a sterile office with a lady who spoke major monotone, juuuuussstttt about killed my kid. Because I was gonna kill her. She was crazy interrupting us. Ugh! And then find out a few thousand dollars later...yes THOUSAND dollars, I told her I'd get back to her. Because holy shit balls! She changed her rates from the last time I spoke with her. What the hell lady!?! Another thing Ryan and I need to talk about.

So....here it is...the kids survived the firsts of school. I survived. And we do it all over again tomorrow. Ryan leaves today for South Carolina AGAIN. But...I have no meetings this week. And I get to go power walking with my friends when Claire is in class.

Should be an easier week for all. Let's fucking hope so.

First day of school...

So..... here is the truth. I have no time to tell you about the start of school. I will get to it this weekend. But as I said before...Ryan's been out of town, and I have been "meeting-ed" out!

It will happen. I promise. But not until I get more than 4 hours of sleep a night, and someone takes these tired crabby kids off my hands for an hour or so.

I hate typos

After re-reading this last post, I noticed a million typos. Mostly annoying to me. Most likely not even warranting a second glance by most. I also noticed I used the word "off" WAYYYYY too many times.

I re-do my posts. A lot. I tweak them because I can't stand stupid grammar. Unless I did it intentionally. Which, I will admit, I do once in a while. Also...using a word more than I need too....can we say Pet Peeve?

So that's it for today. Annoyed. Oh and I am cleaning Claire's room for the umpteenth time. It's so messy. She's much worse than her brother. And one more thing. I have to go backpack shopping. I know I know.."it's kinda late in the game SJT". Whatever.

At least I'm doing it. Take pity on me. Ryan's going to be in South Carolina for the next 2 weeks. Including the first week of school. Wonder how he was able to swing THAT gig? Waking the kids up at 6:30AM every morning, after 3 months of sleeping-in-summer-break , and keeping them from being Crabby McCrabbertons will be SUPER fun for me.

AHHHH!!!! I hate typos. The end.

MN State Fair Extravaganza!

Well....not so much an extravaganza, but, fun nonetheless.

Ahhh.....The MN State Fair. Deep-fried-people-watching-crowd-managing-animal-poop-smelling-fun-on-a-stick.

I love the fair. My kids love the fair. At breakfast today, we were discussing all the things we wanted to do, see and eat. Miles HAD to do the Little Farm Hands. And Claire insisted from morning and pretty much for most of the fair that she would "please like some cotton candy, dad PLEASE???" Cause she knows it's not my favorite and that it's something Ryan WILL eat.

And there we went.

First off. It's 96 degrees with a dew point of 70 today. So, yeah...it's a hot one. But there's a delightful breeze.

Second, we were able to make our annual pilgrimage with our friends, the Paulsrud's, yet AGAIN this year. We always have fun with them. And Ryan was able to tag along today too. Super bonus.

We started at about 9:30am. I know I know...that's not very early. But it's early enough for me. And this year was the FIRST year I attempted the fair without a stroller. For those of you who have been here. You know. It can be a daunting task to manage the fair with two kids under a certain age. Especially without a stroller. But I figured..the stroller gets in the way, my kids are 4 and 6, and they can walk. (Lazy bums).

It was awesome. The kids were able to do the Little Farm Hands without a huge crowd. We headed to the Eco building, and the kids insisted we recycle more than we already do. (How that's going to happen I have no idea.) And then off to the Kidway for some "Carnie-tastic" rides.

Miles is NOT adventurous at all. He did the fun house, and some ropes course for kids. Claire on the other hand wanted to try this ride called the Lady bugs. It goes around and around super fast and then backwards super fast. I certainly wasn't going to take one for the team, with my dizzy crap, and made Ryan go with her. I know..mean...but he loves rides. I do not.

Claire was hilarious. She started yelling her fool head off, cause they say, "If you want to go really fast, scream!!!" And of course she did. Man did that girl laugh her ass off. It was hysterical. Then they slowed down to go backwards. New face. Not laughing her ass off.....more....trying to be cool and not puke kinda face.


Then food. French fries, Cheese Curds, and Root Beer. Thaaaat's about it. Deep fried goodness that Ryan KNOWS isn't fried in Partially Hydrogenated Oils. How do we know that? Don't ask. And yes, those are the only places we go. But hey...it's all good.

We saw the Agriculture Building, The Arts and Crafts Building, and the Healtheast building. The kids found some Webkinz booth that allowed them to purchase one for 5 dollars. 5 DOLLARS! That's like major jackpot if your kids like Webkinz...and mine do.

The heat just about killed us. But the shade was nice. We also tried to duck into the Dairy Building in hopes of cooling off. Clearly not going to happen. The kids did want to sit in the egg chair. Miles remembered seeing a friend of mine's photo from last year of her in the egg chair. I can't believe his memory sometimes.

Look at my poor sweaty babies. Ah well...the Miracle of Birth building was GOD AWFUL HOT AS HELL. I said to Ryan..."It's 2:30. Let's get the hell out of here." Besides...the calf wasn't ACTUALLY being born. They were doing a "vaginal exam" *shudder* Claire just laughed that they said vagina. She turned to me, scrunched up her nose, and said..."Vaginal means vagina right mom?" And again with the turning around to say, "Why is there poop in that cow's vagina."

Oh Jesus help me. I wanted to make her stop, but I couldn't. And you know if there's a birth on the horizon in that place, there's a fucking crowd.

We left.

Final shot of the day. The kids sharing an ICEE. That thing was delish in the heat. The red teeth proved it when they were done.


And that's it. School can start now. We have had our day at the Fair.

First grade will be.....Interesting to say the least

Today Miles went to his first grade assessment. This is what I heard:

Teacher: Can you spell the word AND?

Miles: No. I can't remember that. Sometimes I forget things, I have a bad memory.

And on and on like that. I was sitting outside of the classroom thank God! If he had seen my face...the face that said, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" he would have "remembered" how to spell AND. You can put good money on that too.

Here's what I know about Miles. He's lazy. Lazy when it comes to reading and writing. He can do math like some kind of crazy savant. He also has a photographic memory with about 99% of things....things HE'S interested in. The other 1% is stuff that requires thinking and learning about things non-Star Wars related and so on, if you get my drift.

How frustrating is THAT?!? I mean....we just were reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone together. He was reading it with me. Ugh! That kid.

I can tell you what. When we got to the parking lot I said, "Miles. How do you spell AND?" He said, "A-N-D." That's an easy one mom.

There are currently clumps of my hair in the elementary school parking lot.

Dear Lord....please send help.

Claire has become the SASSIEST 4 year old on the planet. I know it. There isn't a 4 year old girl sassier.Anywhere.Ever. Her eye rolls, foot stomping, and door slamming have shown us that things are going to be OUT OF THIS WORLD tough as hell when she's a tween/teen. (PS...what the hell is a tween? And why didn't they have that when I was supposedly one?)

Ryan has all but reserved himself to leave with Miles for those extra special days of the month when Claire and I have our "lady time". And you know, because Ryan is just that lucky...it's gonna sync up. I feel for him. I really do. He'll come home to the two of us practically killing each other, hear it from the front walk, and just tell Miles to, "run for your life son!"

Anyway. I digress.

So.....yesterday Claire was in BIG trouble. She came to me and asked for a piece of candy. I said, "sure!" Then I heard Ryan ask, "Claire! Did you just ask your mom for the candy I just told you, you COULDN'T have?!" Claire said, "Yes, but I didn't eat it, so it's ok!"

Nice. She got a big fat time out for that one. Then when her time out was over, Ryan told her she could be done. To which she did this.

Yelled NO! Then kicked her feet all over the chair, and put a humongous gift bag over her entire body. She then proceeded to sit there for at least 15-20 minutes pouting.

Note the foot at the bottom.

When Ryan would say, "Sweetie, you can get out of time out." She would punch the sides of the bag and whine. It was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing. It was mean of me for sure. But I couldn't help it. You know like when your kid swears and looks at you all nervous. When it's not in public, I'm kinda hard pressed not to burst out, and have to really work hard to stifle the giggles. Especially when it's someone else's kid. But my Claire would NEVER do that. *eyeroll*

Although this is not as funny as when she said, "OH FUCK!" in front of company, for losing a Mario guy on her DS. But that's another story, which frankly I'm none too proud to tell. I have NO idea where she would have heard that type of language. La la la la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Eventually she emerged from the gift bag to torture her brother by doing God knows what. I just ignore it. Because they need to resolve that shit on their own.

In other fun news, Miles told me this morning at breakfast, that his invisible, 12 year old, Korean brother, thinks I'm mean. I guess I now know what Miles thinks of me WAY deep down. I knew I didn't like pre-teens.

12 years of holding my breath...and there it goes.

I'm good. All kinds of good.

I met with my Hepatology doctor today at the Mayo Clinic. He's the liver specialist. I also met with surgeon A and surgeon B.

Surgeon A was a liver surgeon. Just your general run of the mill surgeon, who did stuff with the liver and worked under surgeon B.
Surgeon B. He's a whole other story.

I will start by telling you, he should have had trumpets and a red carpet rolled out for him when he entered the room. He's THAT surgeon. "Superstar surgeon extraordinaire". I can't tell you how many times the OTHER doctors told me how surgeon B was "world renowned". That's some serious shit right there.

WORLD RENOWNED! And no joke. Apparently he's THE best in THE world when it comes to liver carcinomas. Whew! I'm glad I didn't get just the run of the mill US renowned surgeon. They're not messing around with me. And wait...back up...what the hell? Liver C-A-R-C-I-N-O-M-A? Who the fuck said anything about cancer now?

Ok....back to the story. So surgeon A comes in. Young. Spry. Serious as shit. And checks over my stuff, looks at the letter about how things are "connected" or "communicating" and says with a grim face, "With the size of the cyst in your liver we'll have to remove the entire right lobe of your liver. It's developed around a major artery." Then on and on about bleeding, bile leakage, drains in for a long time, painful long recovery time....blah blah blah...who the hell heard anything past "entire right lobe of your liver"? I certainly didn't.

Then he left the room to show surgeon B. Fancy-pants-I-love-you-cause-you're-THAT-awesome, surgeon B. Annnnd I proceed to lose my shit completely. I cry. I try to joke about stuff so that I don't LOOK like I'd been crying when the surgeons come back. I say things like..."I'm not worried about the dying part. I'm worried about how much it's gonna hurt when I wake up! And you know that's gonna hurt. But I'm not going to say I feel like I got hit by a truck. Everyone says that, and I'm pretty sure they hadn't been hit by any fucking truck. I'm just gonna say....you know...I feel like SHIT!" Cause for some reason that was funny to me. And Ryan too, cause he laughed his holy-shit-I'm-gonna-lose-it-too laugh.. Poor sweetie.

Then in the door walks surgeon A, surgeon B *toot toot*, transplantation surgeon C (WHAT THE FUCK?!?) and random blonde who writes down EVERYTHING surgeon B says.

Talk about entourage. I said, "Oh! Don't be embarrassed if I start crying. Cause it's gonna happen."

Surgeon B sits down and says to me, "Why would you cry? I'm only going to be here for a second." Weird.

So surgeon B starts in on all this technical jargon. How it's not communicating with the right part of my whatnot to my whozit, and that they aren't going to do surgery and that my chance of getting bile duct cancer is almost nil. Literally 5 minutes after surgeon A told me I was gonna get bile duct cancer bad and fast unless they remove the right side of my liver.

Color me confused. But I stopped listening temporarily after I heard No surgery. No cancer. WOO fucking HOO!!!!! I almost jumped the man. Although I'm pretty sure the blonde was packing the heat.

There was some more mumbo jumbo between doctors. Some discrepancies. Most likely some arguing. But in the end the "world renowned" surgeon B said NOPE, not going to cut this one open anytime soon. To which I said I was very happy to oblige him and not darken his door step in the near.

So off I go. And after 12 years of not knowing what would happen. I have answers. I'm not going to die by the time I'm 40. I'm probably not going to get bile duct cancer. I won't need a huge painful inconvenient surgery. And now I can breath free. All I have to do is go in yearly and have and MRCP and a Heita Scan....which is being injected with some kind of radioactive liquid and then photographing it for hours. Both of them painless. Just takes a lot of time.

I'm sooooo not complaining. So now. I can move on. And not be worried about the "what ifs". I know there aren't any.

Today was a VERY good day.

I have been dreading today for weeks. I went to the Mayo Clinic again. I was scheduled to have an ERCP today. It sucks. I had one done many years ago and developed Pancreatitis from it. No fun. Talk about being sick as a mother fucker. Gahhhh.....I've not been that sick since EVER.

Anyway. Ryan and I left at the crack of dawn to get there in time. I did my blood draw, and then had 2 hours to kill before the "Biggie". But because I was fasting for the procedure, we couldn't even stop to get a coffee or anything. We just walked around. Then headed up at 11 for check in.

Here is the worst part about the whole thing. 1: I had to fast. And my procedure wasn't until after 11. Can we say hungry? 2: The waiting room was at least 60 degrees, if not cooler. No eating and cold? Yuck. 3: Then found out at 11:30 they were behind and I would most likely have to wait until after 2PM. Holy-fucking-shit! I was so hungry, I think I told a friend in an email that if she was next to me, I may just gnaw off her arm.

So they get me in. And of course can't find a good vein for the IV. Apparently this Korean has teeny tiny veins. So 4 sticks later, they got the stupid thing in. (I have a major aversion to my veins breaking because of the IV. Who doesn't?)

Then the doctor came in. Got my history, said, "Excuse me, I'll be right back" , and left. I thought he either A: was disturbed with my history, B: had the schmotz, or C: my history disturbed him so much he got the schmotz. Either way, he was gone. And I was left to watch my IV bleed all over the blanket.

When he came back he told me all the major risks of the ERCP. And apparently they're not good. And because I had the Pancreatitis before, I was at major risk of getting it again. NO THANKS on that special treat. So after much discussion with my physician, and re-looking at scans and tests and whatnot, it was decided I didn't need to go through with the procedure.

THANK THE LORD! I swear if I hadn't been connected to an IV I would have jumped on the man and laid a big wet lickery kiss on him.

Ryan was shocked that I was out and walking and talking to him when I went to the waiting room. The last time I had tests done I was a drooling, blathering, fool. I think I asked the doctor who performed the surgery if I "had gas" during the surgery. Ugh...gun, bullets? Yes please. And of course Ryan told me later about it. My humility had been set at an all time low. Ugh.

I told him what happened today and he was all indignant about it. How if I had travelled from far and wide, what a shit deal it would have been. I don't care. I wasn't poked and prodded and then sent out to barf all over the Mayo Clinic. I was a happy lady. I called my mom to tell her and the kids we'd be back soon and that I was "AWE-SSSSOMMMMEEEE!!!" And yes it was sing song. Then we got a Jimmy John's sub and I think I scarfed that fucker down in about 2 seconds. Note to self...when fasting for almost 24 hours....do not, I repeat DO NOT eat a whole sub and chips in 2.43 seconds. It.Is.Not.Good.

Tomorrow I meet with my doctor and surgeon. Surgeon to discuss a liver resection. IE: removing 3/4 of my liver just for shit's and giggles. Apparently we will discuss the risks. We're not even going to talk about do it, not do it. Just....here's what you should worry about. Yep. Fun.

At least I got to spend a wonderful evening with my family and neighbors. The kids and the neighbor girl always play at night and we shoot the shit with her parents. It was nice indeed. We discussed the new and upcoming 3D porn that will be in IMAX. Should be really......big.

Wild God Damn Kingdom over here.

As I contemplate going to bed, I am disturbed beyond belief, that at 10:48pm, there is a crow cah cawing his damn ass off in my front yard.

Top that off with the fucking barking dog that some dipshit leaves out all night, and you know it's a little tiny fucker too. Aaaaand I'm up. Annoyed and frustrated and well...annoyed.

These noises that I hear are not the pleasant sounds of the 'burbs. I should hear crickets along with the highway. Not a bird trying to "get some" in the middle of the night, along with a dog that apparently doesn't have an off switch to it's high pitched incessant bark.

UGH!!!!!

And I thought Ryan's snoring was my biggest sleeping pet peeve of all time. Not so much.

I need to sleep. I have way tons of stuff weighing on my mind tonight. My body needs rest. I feel all kinds of broke down and bad. I'm stressed out. I'm having a pity party and NO one showed up. Stupid feeling sorry for myself. I hate it. But it happens.

Eh...tomorrow is another day. Just wish my friend Kelly lived close to here. He'd take care of some shit. (PS don't link to this if you don't like seeing dead animals.)

Stupid fucking bird and dog. GAAAHHHHHHHH!

A little non kid related for today

I'm upset. I was a follower of a very entertaining blog for almost 2 years. And I have been wondering why oh why my dear friend has not been posting. Well not really a friend. I don't even know her at all. She lives in a whole other country. But you know....

Anyway.....I use Google Reader. So it is rare that I actually GO to a blog anymore, unless I make a comment. (Cause I can't help my damn self once in a while.) But today I was cleaning up my "following page" and clicked on said blog.

Gone.

"Invitation only" please. What the hell? Rude Tuna!

Ok, so I get it. She had like 400 zillion followers. And I'm one of those zillion. But seriously. It's not like I was offended by her business. And let me tell you.....she put that shit ALL the way out there. So why all the covert operations now? Ugh.

I suppose I could send her an email and request an invitation. That would be a lot of work for me though. Heh heh heh...can we say lazy? All together now.....

Oh well. I tried to go all private-only-ask-me-you-nosey-fucks ..but it was such a hassle, and really what is a blog for? My friends in the real world know all this stuff anyway. And isn't it just a tiny bit fun to read about someone you dont' know at all? I just reverted back to what I have. Open to whoever. And hopefully not every whoever has found it.

Now I'll never know if she named ALL of the pigeons that lived by her window. Sad really. It was a damn good laugh.

KCC Saturday Program

The Korean Camp that Miles attended always has a big saturday program.

The kids perform their dances, songs and Tae Kwon Do. It's cute. VERY long. And if you don't have a kid or grandkid in the program, it's just downright mean for someone to ask you to go. After the program there is a Korean lunch. It's delicious. All our favorites. Korean BBQ. mmmmm........

Well. Like I said, the program itself lasts 2 hours. Two you're-lucky-my-kid-is-in-this-program-or-I'd-snap hours. This is why.....

Yeah. That's almost 300 Korean kids. Not shitting you. And their "teen helpers".

Every grade level does songs and dances.



The B&W is of Miles singing. It was so hard to get close up, and we don't have a zoom lens yet. So go with it. It's the best you're gonna get today.

Then they have the BIG finale...the Tae Kwon Do demo. Oh my GAWD!!!! How annoying was that you ask? Super.Annoying.Beyond.Belief. Sincerely. Oh for crap's sake.

It started off with these "too cool for school" korean young adults blasting that song, that according to Ryan, "Every marital arts demo starts with." It's like chest thumping techno music. I loathed it. But it got them all hyper and sweaty. And eventually woke the kids up after sitting for almost 2 hours on high school bleachers. I personally would have preferred this song...but beggars can't be choosers.

Miles broke his first board. With a kick no less. He was very proud of it too. I don't have a photo of that because one of the "helpers" stood in front of him. Oh well....next year...note to self.....get zoom lens.


All in all.....a great week at camp. Miles was very sad after the program. Most of his friends had left and he laid in my lap eating his Korean popsicle. Laid. Poor baby. He looked like someone took his favorite Star Wars character and murdered him right in front of his face. The boy was crushed. He loved camp. Thankfully it's a summer camp and he can go again next year.

Claire? Not so interested.


In other news...I did learn some very interesting things about my friend Deb. Like digging on Korean men interesting. You naughty girl.

Birthday loot

We let the kids open their birthday gifts together early. They got lots of fun things. It's hard having 2 kids with birthdays 2 days apart. We just let them both go crazy. And with camp this week...it's been a busy busy week.

Claire has been fascinated with this cartoon called Ni-Hao-Kai-Lan. It's basically the Chinese equivalent to Dora The Explorer. She now has their playsets. All of them. She also still loves all things Disney Princess. Ugh. I can't wait for this phase to be done and over with. I can only handle so much "Tra-la-la-la-LAAAAAA-ing" before I go bonkers postal. Or as my friend likes to say, "bat shit crazy".


Miles on the other hand...still got Star Wars. This kid will never, I repeat NEVER grow out of Star Wars. And I have to admit, I'm coming around to it. Kind of. Well not really, I'm just giving into the obsession. He has however decided he likes these things called Bakugan. I don't know. I'm not a fan, but he and his friends love them. So I guess he's kinda on that bandwagon. They too, will eventually fall by the wayside. And when that happens, all his Star Wars collectables will be there with open arms. And his 5 gagillion light sabers and Star Wars tee shirts. Although, my good friend Anne suggested I make a quilt out of the tee shirts when they get to small. It's a great idea. Now if only I knew how to sew. Hmmmmmm.....Oh wait..my good friend Anne does. Nice suggestion friend. Get to work! That quilt won't make itself. Hee hee.

And throw in a few video games for both kids, and a Happy Birthday to my sweet little babies.

Koreans are were it's at, according to Miles

Miles has been going to Korean Culture Camp this whole week. It's a week long day camp, that teaches all things Korean.

I went to this camp when it first began over 30 years ago, and my mom was the director for many years. I loved it. It was so a part of me.

This year was Miles' first year. I was worried. Mr. I-don't-eat-shit-ever-because-I-just-don't, would have to eat Korean food everyday for lunch. And it is ALL day camp. So not eating at lunch time when you have a minimum of 3 recesses...would make for a very hungry tired Miles.

But to my surprise, he eats everything. Every.Fucking.Thing. Unbelievable! He told me he will try everything because it's Korean. Well hell! If I knew all I had to do was tell him what he was eating was Korean food...my last 4 years of feeding him would have been WAYYYY easier. My BFF said I should tell him, from now on, it's all Korean food. And I won't be lying. I mean...I'm Korean. And I'm "making" all his food. So technically...it's Korean food. Right? Of course right.

The other thing he said he loves about camp, is being around all the Korean kids. Miles LOVES being Korean. Absolutely loves it. He has even gone so far as to wish out loud that Ryan would be Korean. Cause he is, "For sure missing out on it."

Miles is a whole other person at camp. He is thriving. He is active and funny and excited about it everyday. I mean....there are 300+ Korean kids at this camp. He is in heaven.

Claire on the other hand said to me, "Do I have to go to Korean camp? You know, I just look Korean. I'm not though." We're still working on this with her.

Miles on his first birthday. He is wearing his traditional Hanbok for his Toljabee. Yes indeed. Miles is happy to be Korean.


*A quick side note....Miles is one of the shortest kids in the whole of the Kindergarten group. That's saying something. He's the shortest in a group of short Koreans. Zoinks!

Too fast! TOO FAST!

Well as promised...here it is. The birthday weekend blog. I write with a heavy heart, as I realize my kids are 4 and 6. I know...it doesn't SEEM that old, but it is. Claire is huge. Miles is getting...well bigger. *sigh*

Ok...well I did a quick little something about Miles' party. There wasn't much more to tell. We had very little time after the movie. But here are all the boys.


There is one other photo from Miles' party I HAVE GOT TO PUT UP! It's little JW. He's a friend of Miles'. The story is...all the kids in this family, (there are 3) eat like crazy! It's an ongoing joke sort of. My friend K said she's sending her kids to her neighbors once a week for dinner when they become teens cause they WILL eat her out of house and home.

We had very little time to eat and do gifts, and the boys were super amped up on sugar, sodium and fizzy drinks. They were bouncing off the walls. Literally. But sure enough. Little JW was sitting at the dinner table finishing his dessert. I love this kid!


Claire's party on the other hand was madness. 12 kids. We did have 15 originally, but two went out of town at the last minute and one got sick. So we had 12 kids. Making cupcakes at the local bakery. It was awesome. If you ever want to do something easy and fun for a birthday party..... this bakery will help you decorate your own cupcakes for $1.50 a kid. And you get to take home all the left over things. Frosting, sprinkles, and cupcakes. That's it too. They have a room for you and a "bakery assistant." Major hit.




Once we got back to the house, we did pizza and stuff. Then the girls ate their cupcakes. Yay! Easy and fun. There was much girly business. Dress up, naked Barbies everywhere as promised. Claire's room smelled like Cherry lip gloss. Most of the girls left with purple eyeshadow. And being we don't have ANY purple eyeshadow, I imagine they used purple lipgloss. Sticky. And Ryan did in fact toss back a few. Good man. I don't know what he would have done otherwise. It was a lot of pink and girl. I venture to say, it was a tad much for me too. But the party was a hit. And the kids were happy. I certainly needed to hit the bottle once all the kids left.





Basically the parties went well. We did keep ourselves very busy this weekend. And the kids had a blast. I would say this last photo sums up the whole of it.

I'm sad they are getting so big so fast. But I have to say. I love their funny personalities. They make my day. Most of the time.

One down...One to go

Just a quick blurb.....

Miles' party was awesome! The timing was great. The kids were great. The parents picked their kids up ON TIME! Yay parents!!! Miles had a friend stay overnight. And so they were ridiculously blissful as they ripped open, and attempted to play with every new toy received today.

Claire was bored (of course) and just hovered around them, but there was no interaction. NONE. We rented a movie for her to watch.

The ToothFairy, with the Dwayne "THE ROCK" Johnson. Stupid name. Seriously stupid movie.

Worst part of the night? Me, sitting downstairs, alone, watching this stupid fucking movie, alone. Did I mention I was ALONE watching it? What the fuck?

But we spent a whole dollar on it, and I needed closure! CLOSURE PEOPLE!!!!! I am not shitting you!!!! Ryan even came down and said, "what are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

I couldn't even tell him why. I just said, "we paid money for it." And then looked at him like I didn't want to waste the roach. It was pathetic. And I imagine it looked pathetic too. Ryan just shook his head and went back upstairs with the kids.

Lesson learned...rent NO movies tonight after Claire's party. Photos later. Of the party, not pathetic me.

Here we go again!

Well...this weekend will be BUSY! Two birthday parties. Ours. Miles' and Claire's. TWO! Ugh. Not sure what I was thinking doing them on the same weekend. It's a lot of kids. TONS OF KIDS! Invading my home. Eating our food. Messing up every room in the house. And leaving it all for me to clean up.

Yay!

Oh well. Miles' party should be pretty easy. He has invited a few friends to go and see a movie. Easy breezy. Claire on the other hand has requested to "decorate cupcakes". And hell to the NO am I going to do that in this house. We are going to our local bakery. They do it. But..then back to the house for lunch. Fourteen, 4 year old girls. I shit you not. FOURTEEN!!!! (In case you were wondering about all the capital letters? Yes I'm yelling!)

I imagine Ryan is cringing at the thought of all the naked Barbie dolls that will be strewn about the house. Cause you know that's what 4 year old girls do. Strip every doll naked and check for them to be anatomically correct. Oh no? Just mine? Ok...nevermind.

Poor Miles. Thankfully his little friend Brody will be here. Keeping the testosterone flowing freely with Star Wars and Bakugan. But I am more than sure they will be holed up in his room with the door shut. Cause you know...they're 6. And girls are gross. Especially 4 year old girls. Sheesh.

It just goes to show, once again, what kind of kids I have. Miles is very low key. Simple tastes with parties. Claire...all out high maintenance. It's ok though.

Next week will start Miles' first year at Korean Culture Camp. I loved it as a kid. I was one of the first kids to go. And my mom was the president of the camp when I was little. Hopefully he will love it like I did. So we are a busy group over here in Suburbia.

Photos to follow. I promise. Get ready for Star Wars and Princess crap. Again.

I have two completely different kids

My parents are doing something special with each of my kids for their birthdays. They were given the opportunity to choose something fun.

Claire opted for what she calls, The Pedi Shop. She gets a pedicure and manicure with my mom. Sooo freaking girly.

Miles on the other hand will be spending the day doing Meals on Wheels with my parents. He asked to help once he found out what it was. He told Ryan all about it, and is very excited about going.

See.....totally different kids. But both SO them. Birthday parties to commence this weekend. Lord help me.

Get the barf bag

I went to see SALT this weekend with my BFF for her birthday. I don't do movie reviews, but I am doing this more as a PSA.

This movie is pretty cool. It's very much like the Bourne movies, but with Angelina Jolie in the title role.

For our birthdays we have decided it is best to do movie and dinner together sans husbands and kids. Just us. Depending on who's birthday it is, the other pays. It's awesome. We avoid having to get coffee cups, chocolate, and cutesie gifts for each other, and just be able to hang out together.

We were planning on seeing Eclipse. But I've seen it twice already and my BFF was not into this time. Oh well...I told her I would totally see it again, cause it's not bad...but she wanted to see Salt. Cool. I was very cool with it.

Either way...like I said, the movie is way good. But.....

Don't sit close to the screen and don't eat before you see the movie.

HOLY SHIT! Hello motion sickness. I don't think there was ONE scene where the camera wasn't jiggly. Ugh..my guts were doing flip flops. Half way into the movie we decided to move UP to the top/back of the theater. It helped. Immensely. But the damage was done. Wonkey stomach prevailed. And my BFF had a bit of a headache.

But once again...pretty damn cool movie. And there is an awesome kill scene. I mean...if I were going to off someone...it would definitely be as cool as that. I'd just need some handcuffs. But I said if, and I'm not that strong.

I don't feel like me today

I feel completely off today. And it's only 9am. What the hell? I slept well. I think. Ryan woke me up at 2:04am. He was having a nightmare. Something about being a gun slinging movie star. And everytime he shot one of whatever was chasing him, they would multiply. I guess it would freak me out too. But he woke me up in the usual way. He sounds panicked in his sleep. It's loud too.

I have banned Ryan from certain video games because of his "dreaming". One time he was way into playing Call of Duty. On one of the levels he was storming the beaches at Normandy. And he had been having a hard time passing that level. So he played it. A LOT.

Later that week I woke to Ryan crawling all over the bed yelling, "OH MY GOD!!! GET DOWN!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!" Yeah. That's what woke me up in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! I didn't know if we were being robbed at gun point or what. Seriously. Banned! For a long time. Thank god it was before kids. Otherwise for certain Miles would have ran his little ass in the room crying. Claire would have slept right through all the video game induced dream drama.

But last night was a run of the mill, I'm-panicking-cause-something-is-getting-me dream. And then Target had their online Black Friday starting at 2am...so I took a quick gander and then went right back to bed.

So I have no idea what is going on. I think I have a bit of anxiety. There's been things going on in my life that are kinda sucking right now. Things I have no control over. I thought I had it all in check, but I guess not.

Oh well.....it will pass...and when it does, I will continue on, in my happy oblivion. Until then, I will feel "icky". And just be super vague so no one knows what's wrong with me. They will just whisper behind my back, "What's wrong with SJT? She's kinda not herself today." Meh...it could be a lot worse.

Why can't she just smile?

For my mom's birthday this year, my sister Cindi and I have decided to put together a photo collage of the grandkids.

First of all, this is quite a feat since my sister Sara and her son Lincoln live in Los Angeles CA. But...my mom goes ga ga for her grandkids. She lives for those little people. My poor dad...he's definitely second fiddle to them.

So we got the kids together the other day and I photographed them. Nothing fancy. Nothing special...just photos of THEM.
And they all wore white t-shirts. It would be easy for my sister in CA to replicate this for her son.

Check them out:
TYRA

TARYN

ETHAN

MILES

Last but not least.....CLAIRE

Now...Claire was IMPOSSIBLE to photograph. She did the I-hate-this smile. The I'm-gonna-grimace-till-I-get-cheek-cramps smile. And the I-will-say-cheese-until-it-looks-like-I'm-trying-to-get-a-huge-shit-out smile. Needless to say, Cindi and I were potty talking, and face making like crazy. I think both of us were breaking out into a sweat at some point. Even the other kids tried. But she didn't want to smile AT ALL. This photo you see here? Luck.

Then of course we went for the group photos....Ha! Clearly Claire had had her limit.



Now the two boys...they are adorable. They smiled the entire time. Hopefully my sister can get me her son's photo...hint hint Sara...I know you're reading.

UW Stout and other stupidity.

Well friends. I did it. I finally headed out, overnight, without kids. For the first time in EVER. And it wasn't even with Ryan.

I headed East about 45 miles and landed square in Menomonie Wisconsin. My old alma mater. UW Stout. Polytechnic now. What the fuck is that? I have no idea. I graduated with a Vocational Rehabilitation degree. Weird.

Anyway I digress. It had been planned for a while. A few girlfriends of mine from college of whom I haven't seen for 9 years, and I decided to head out to see what had changed. Along the way, we invited a few more of our cohorts from the Fleming Hall days. And we only had one other taker. Our bold and daring friend Erik.

Here is Selena, me and Erik standing outside of the Student Center...no change by the way.

Even the seating in the Pawn (food dispensing locale) was exactly the same as it was when I graduated in 95. Gross....I ate there hung over. As a matter of fact I believe a friend of mine threw up on said chairs.

When we all started at Stout, we were on North campus. About a half a mile from the main campus. About a half a mile from any classes. And that half a mile was a bitch to walk when the temps got below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. Ooohweeee and if the wind was blowing...GGGAAAHHH!!!!

The only saving grace in the winter was on occasion the Swiss Miss factory close by would be wafting in the air. Otherwise in the fall, spring, and summer, you got the sewage plant.

The dorms are all crazy different. Our dear Fleming Hall is now being connected to the two other dorms behind it.

And just east of those dorms are these beauties! They have AC. Those lucky bastards.

We walked around campus for a few hours, in 91 degree weather. Kill me now. And I am sunburned. I'm Korean. I don't get sunburned...but son of a bitch if it wasn't hot.
Here is Andrea, Erik, and Selena at some kind of weird placard they "erected".

Oh and the Fortune Cookie is still there next to the Subway. Seriously. I'm not just pointing that out cause I'm Asian either. The damn restaurant looks EXACTLY the same. Anyone who lived on North campus has eaten that crap food and lived to tell the tale. Trust me.

So after our tour of campus, we drove by some of the old places we lived off campus. Not too thrilling. Just got us talking about all the dumb, illegal, immoral things we did back in the day. And we headed off to Eau Claire to have dinner and a few drinks and check into the hotel.

Once we headed to Eau Claire, there really wasn't anything going on. We went to dinner downtown. Then a few drinks. We tried to find places we wouldn't TOTALLY stick out in, but that's really hard to do in a college town when the three of us are circling the middle age drain. But we did ok. Until, that is, we decided to head to another bar called.....The Pickle. Jesus.

We walked down to it, and looked in the window. Harmless enough, but once we saw the plastic keg cups we were all, "fuck no!" Our days of, stashing plastic keg cups down our pants so we wouldn't have to pay the 5$ at the next party, are long gone. And we decided to mosey on back to the grown up bar. Which incidentally, drinks in Eau Claire Wisconsin..Dirt.Ass.Cheap.

Once we heard the tornado sirens go off, we decided to head back to the hotel. What a poor showing on our parts. But....meh...I was tired anyway.

Safely tucked into our hotel..the madness began. Talks of kids, marriage, boobs, showering, the olden days, and everything else under the sun were had. And before we knew it, it was 2:30 am. I had officially been awake for 22 hours at that point. Lame.

This is what the end of the night looked like....what a mess. I told you we were mature.

All in all a very nice trip down memory lane with a few friends. The only casualty we had was when Selena was imitating Kristen Stewart's hunch. She pulled a muscle in her neck and it was worse by the morning. God damn we're old.

Is this wrong? And that's rhetorical thank you very much.

So I have never been shy about my sickness. The Vampire saga sickness that is. Be it Twilight or The Sookie Stackhouse novels. I love them all.

I love vampires who are deep and emotional and would die all over again for their lady. I have read all these books over and over so much that the book bindings are breaking.

When I get another book in either of the series, my husband says, "See ya in a few days." He just knows. Smart man. Thankfully they are very easy reads, and I can pretty much finish them with all the distractions that being a stay at home mom entail, in about 2 days at the most.

I've seen the movies for Twilight. I have groups of people that I see them with. I ALWAYS see them with my BFF. The first Twilight movie, we were so excited to see how they were going to interpret the book. Once it started the acting was so bad we gawfawed out loud in the theater multiple times. Much to the chagrin of the tweens surrounding us.

I also see these movies with my 13 year old niece...who is NOW 13, but was 12 when we saw New Moon. She swooned. Like girls her age should.

And this year with Eclipse out, I saw it for the first time (yes I said the FIRST time) with a high school friend of mine and a college friend of mine. In complete luxury. Full bar, restaurant, and leather barcaloungers. Then again with my niece and soon to be with my BFF for her birthday. Yep. I will have seen Eclipse 3 times IN the theater in the month of July alone. I imagine I'm not alone or even near the record.

Now True Blood....that's where I swoon for the vamps. Love that Eric Northman. And really? It's on tv. I can watch the dirtiness that is True Blood in the privacy of my own home. I mean...it's basically Twilight with sex. Lots and lots of sex. Oh and lots of boobs. Ryan watches it with me. He, on the other hand, will roll his eyes till I just see the whites at Twilight. Eh...can't win em all.

Even my kid knows Twilight. When we are strolling through Target's toy aisle and there are Twilight Barbies, she yells out, "Look mom! Twilights!" She's 4 and should have no idea about it, but I guess she hears EVERYTHING!

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah....I have finished reading the last Sookie Stackhouse novel in the series, and will see Eclipse one more time this month. I have the rest of the season of True Blood to look forward to. And oh yes...I'm obsessed.

Summertime!

Doesn't this look like fun? Wish it wasn't totally out of the question for me to "slip and or slide". Most likely I would "bust and or break" my way down.

I have never been fond of this season. With all it's hot, and humid, and bugs that bite and leave huge ugly red welts. (By the way I have a mosquito bite in the middle of my forehead. I look like I have put a Tilaka on.) And I'm just not down with the lack of clothing that is required in the summertime. I like my turtlenecks, and jeans, and boots, and scarves, and heavy duty sweaters.

But my kids love the summer. They can prance around in very little clothing...cause don't all kids like to do that? And they don't have any responsibility. And they love the outdoors.

My kids are in love with this Slip -n- Slide. It's a double width, with some kind of inflatable boards to ride on. I never had one growing up, and so that must be why I am ALL OVER getting one for them.

We were at my parents house with cousin E. The Slip -n- Slide is travel ready too! I mean really. Best summer toy ever.

My favorite photo here is the one where E looks deranged. Don't know why it cracks me up. There are my two smiling all sweetly and there is E.....all his personality in one photo. I love that face he's making.

These kids will hopefully be close when they get older and look back at these photos and think...."man my mom/aunt was obsessed with the damn camera." Cindi and I will look back and think...."Damn those kids were cute." I am most certainly going to miss this. Things are easy now.

I am starting to like summer a little. I know....crazy.

Thinking...thinking....thinking....

What is a blog for?

I always thought my blog was to entertain, and to "get it down on paper". It usually just tells people of the trials and tribulations of being a mom to MY kids.

Cause really? My kids are hilarious. At times infuriating, but most likely they are doing or saying something that cracks me up. And I feel the need to share it with everyone. Because there is no way, any other kids, are as hilarious as mine. *note sarcasm*

Another reason I write this blog, is to keep track of things. To remember things that I would otherwise lose in my file-o-fax of a brain. There's just too much crap up in there to remember EVERYTHING.

I also write to complain about my stupid old giving out body. I hate it. It makes me so angry. And that has to go somewhere.

But recently, I have wanted to write about things that are going on in my life that stress me out. And I haven't. Why you ask? Because I am not comfortable with people I am annoyed with, stressed out with or just plain bitching about, reading about my annoyance in such a public forum.

Ok...sure, I talk a big game. And truly, I WILL tell you what's on my mind if it's not going to really hurt our relationship. But the big-blast-you-into-next-month crabby that I am capable of, so not ok. I don't want to totally alienate people who make me mad. I'm not a grudge holder. So once it passes I'm good. And if I wrote things here...it's out there. And once I'm past it, they may not be. See the problem?

And I know most people hold on to things. Also there's the whole...I'm not talking about you, but you think I am.

I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE SPECIFIC HERE TODAY. THIS IS JUST A TOPIC ON MY BRAIN.

Lately there have been things I have wanted to write. But I don't. Poor Ryan has just had to hear it. Incessantly, hear it. And he's been really great about it. But maybe just maybe I shouldn't hold back. I should just not worry about what people think. And I should start writing it all down.

Right?

Any way you can say it. Courtesy of the Potty Talk Fairy

Claire has taken to potty talk. Not a new concept in our house mind you. There's the "butt", "poop", "fart", and "private body parts", potty talk. Then there's the words "she can't say" potty talk.

There's this gem, and there's also the song the Stewart children taught her....."Cha cha cha cha cha CHA! We are big fat people!" Cause you know I'm not down with my kids talking about PEOPLE being fat. Fat is a naughty word in our house when talking about people.

I do on occasion encourage or participate in the potty talk. Only because I notice if we "let it all hang out" it ceases for quite a while. So we go into the whole...."did you see that monkey? He farted out his butt!" And of course double-over-snorting-laughs ensue. But it pretty much stops the potty talk for a while. It's almost like she gets it out of her system and is good for a bit.

Recently Claire has become enthralled with the Cooking Channel. Not the Food Network. Oh no...she is loving the old time cooking shows. Her most favorite is Two Fat Ladies. I figured it out though. Not only does she love the show, but it gives her legal license to say the word FAT.

What a butt.

Happy 4th!

Today was a spectacular day. We started off doing nothing. That's how I like to spend my weekends.

But we had people coming over so I had to get out of my pj's at some point. But really, they weren't scheduled until 3 so what was the rush?

We had a nice leisurely brunch. Then on to "getting ready" for company. That involves, cleaning the bathroom and shutting my bedroom door.

Friends came. Amy, her husband Ron and their 2 kids. Rachel and her husband Dan. I went to HS with all but Dan. It was quite an evening.

We ordered pizza, because accommodating all those people was out of the question. Besides, Ron is the pickiest eater this side of Miles. Truly. The running joke was that we were going to have 3 different pizza deliveries. The last time I had pizza with Ron and Amy, I was at their house, and I shit you not, they had two different pizza places pass each other on the walkway to the house. It's awesome.

Pizza satisfactorily devoured, and brownie sundaes. Seriously. I make a mean brownie sundae.

The kids trashed the house. No surprise. And the grown ups talked about old times, iPhone games, running, shoes, and whatever else we could think of.

We decided since it wasn't ever going to rain we would venture to the St. Paul fireworks display. Best idea of the night! We met at the Science Museum and they shoot them off right below where we were standing.

The crowd around us was interesting to say the least. I mean....I think for one of the first times the people I was with, were the minority. There were few white folks. Very few. I believe the Asians were the majority.

And some of the people there were just....classy. Wow. And by classy I mean...yowza. NOT CLASSY.

Once the first fireworks went off, Claire's face was like, "whoa!" and everyone settled down. Amy and Ron's daughter who is 9 was very concerned she wouldn't see the fireworks cause the guy in front of her was so tall. Eh...she was fine once she realized they were going off about 50 feet above her and the building we were standing by.

Pluses and minuses standing in such a large crowd. Plus...no bugs for some reason. And it was a hot a humid night. Minus....sweaty business, and stinky people all over the damn place. And when you're short like me...it's gross. And stinky. Plus, the kids stayed very close to us because they didn't want to get lost. Minus, still hot and it was still smelly.

In the end, I giggled like a little girl when the finale came, cause I love it. And Claire loved that part too. Miles was very inquisitive regarding the how and the what with the fireworks. At one point he asked Ryan if they were magic. I love that.

We waited downtown for traffic to clear. All the while watching the kids turn cartwheels in a big grassy area, and chatting with Dan and Rachel.

Great 4th of July. Thanks friends.