I didn't see this coming.

Delving further into my 23andme results, I learned my genetic make up. And it's not all Korean.

What's that you say? Yep. I'm pretty much 50/50 Korean Japanese.

I'm not going to lie. It was a bit of a shock. And I wanted to run around my house galloping like a mad rabid horse yelling OH-MY-GOD-WHAT-IS-THIS-WORLD-COMING-TO-HOLY-SHIT-MOTHER-FUCKER-MY-LIFE-AS-I-KNOW-IT-IS-A-LIE-OH-WHY-MEEEEEEEE!? 

But instead I was all, "Hey guess what? I'm as Japanese as I am Korean. Weird right?" 

My mom said she was surprised at how "well" I took the information. Ha little did she know I was a crazed lunatic in my head. But I'm ok with it now.

I have also learned I have about 150 3rd-6th cousins. Maybe I'm related to Kevin Bacon after all. I mean...isn't everyone?

I'm so excited right now!

I got this cool DNA testing kit for my birthday from Ryan. You spit in a tube for a million hours, then mail it in.

It was supposed to give me medical information and ancestry information based on my DNA. And I submitted it in November.

Due to the FDA being money hungry bastards, 23andme delayed processing information for quite a while. Also they no longer offer medical information. However, due to the actual date that I submitted the spit. I made it just under the wire to get all the goods.

And today after long last. I got the goods.

I won't bore you with all the details. But suffice it to say I won't be making any hasty medical decisions anytime soon. I take the info with a grain of salt regarding the medical stuff. I mean...it's super technical. I've never even heard of most of the diseases, syndromes, and other miscellaneous mumbo jumbo.  But it's nice to know that I don't carry the gene for Alzheimers or Parkinsons.

My favorite part. The part I find the most fascinating, is the "traits" page. It says things about hair color, height, muscle growth, response to exercise, finger length. All the stuff people know and learn about by knowing their family. Their genetic family. I'm almost in tears thinking about the things I've finally learned about myself. Why I'm the way I am. I've never known it. And it makes me feel more connected to my birth family then I have ever felt.

I feel fortunate to learn these things. Next up....I get to find out about ancestry. In two weeks, I could possibly find blood relatives. That's something I never thought possible.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who cares about this stuff. But it sure means so much to me. And I can't stop talking about it, which I'm pretty sure is bugging the shit out of people. But whatever. They've had their whole lives to know themselves. I'm just finding out for the first time. They can deal.

Ah..crap

Well it's happened.  My swearing has reached EPIC proportions. I mean...Fucking epic.

Ryan and the kids have noticed that I will drop the F-bomb, and a shit any old time. I'm so thankful that my kids realize that they're just words. But yet, they are NOT allowed to utter them, themselves.

However. The other day. I was in Miles' room, and he came strolling in and must have realized he forgot something and said, "Oh shiiii.....(pause)...nevermind mom!" And ran out. AFTER making this face

You know he was about to finish the word. But caught himself JUST.IN.TIME.

You may ask, "Did you get mad SJT? Did you punish him?" How can I be mad? I can't. I laughed and busted him. Then I heard them. Those turds. Ryan and Claire told me I need to "work on my swearing."

So now I have a swear jar. Well...it's more like a swear wine glass. I have to put a quarter in it each time I swear. At least each time the kids hear me swear. (I told Ryan I'd go broke if it was for ALL swearing.) I realize I'm the worst mom. I never used to swear. I must be low on vitamin D.

Either way. I have the stupid swear police on my ass daily. Claire gets simply giddy if she even hears me say dangIT and has to check to see if I said DANG it or DAMN it. She's a shit. It started yesterday and I already have quite a collection of quarters in the glass. I've just given up at this point and put my bag of quarters next to the glass.

Ryan said that in no time at all, he'll be able to get the XBox One or the PS4. Or probably both with my fucking mouth. I'm blaming the weather. Stupid fucking Polar Fucking Vortex.