It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A!

Today was Claire's big preschool Bike A Thon. It's the big huge fundraiser for LADC.

It was lots of fun! It's 2 of the preschool's locations gathering together for a bike parade, and family fall festival. Super fun for kids.

Ryan knew he would have to spend most of the time with the kids ALONE. Thankfully he planned ahead. I was pretty much not to be seen for 95% if the day. Oh well. It was fine. The kids have a lot of fun.

Claire started off very stoic with the bike parade. Miles decided to jog along side of her the whole time. But Claire was NOT messing around with the "earning her pledges". The kid rode a circle at least 10+ times. She was S-E-R-I-O-U-S!! And Miles totally gave up after lap 3.



They did "Crazy hair". Which is basically, back combing your kid's hair until you KNOW it's not coming out without the weed whip and then spray painting it the most hideous colors known NOT in nature. In the past Claire has been adamant about not having it. She thought it was "dumb". But her friends did it and so she had to do it too. If you click on the photo and see her face in the mirror...she's totally having buyers remorse.


Among the rest of the things to do were, carnival games, a jumper, mini golf, arts and crafts, and major playground time. Then lunch. They also had a DJ putting out great hits such as, Black Eyed Peas "I Got A Feeling" (Loathe), all the KIDZ BOP crap, which BTW..is kinda creepy. And of course the all popular wedding circuit run. All the Disco and 50's music you can stomach...and then they keep on going after you clearly have had enough.

However, I found it odd, the most popular song to date, the one that gets the kids and the parents up, shaking their booties, and thinking they are too cool for a Lutheran pre school? The Y.M.C.A. Yes yes....it's a party song. Major. But it's my understanding it was written as an homage to all the gay "encounters" you can have at the Y.M.C.A on the DL. And all these folks at Claire's preschool are bustin' a move to it. And let me tell you, the white man overbite was in full effect!!!! Ah well. Who doesn't love a good gay anthem? I can't think of anyone...and if you are one...time to move on from THIS blog. We don't want any of your crazy hating here. Off the soap box now.

Basically, the Bike A Thon was a huge success! I'll totally miss this next year when Claire is rockin' Kindergarten. This preschool is kind of amazing!

It's a sad day in suburbia.

Today Ryan and I took the kids to our local "kids hair cutting place". And it's in our neighborhood. A very diverse neighborhood for suburbia, thank you very much.

But today. It was like we were in some kind of fucking-racist-alternate-suburban-universe.

Here's what went down.

When the stylist called us up, Claire and I walked to the desk. Then this wack job of a lady had her little boy with her and asked the stylist, "Do you have specific stylists for each kid?" Our lady said, "No, who ever can get to them in the order they arrive is how it works. Did you want some one specific?" The woman said, "No, I just don't want my son sitting in the seat after THAT girl."

All the while she was looking at Claire like she had flesh eating virus, or like Claire was covered in shit and smelled like it too. Our stylist didn't quite get it, and in the split second that she did, you could see it spread across her face, like...WHAT THE FUCK LADY?

Then they got her kid another stylist.

Now......I've dealt with racist idiots many times in my 36 almost 37 years. HOWEVER. Let me be CRYSTAL clear. I have NEVER had anyone give my kids the stink eye like that, and flat out refuse to have her kid near mine. I was so shocked, I couldn't do anything. But I sadly admit I cried in the car on the way home.

Not because Claire had any idea about what happened.....and I kept my voice down when telling Ryan. But because, really bitch? It's 2010! I was so frustrated and saddened by the whole thing. Ugh. I just wanted to rant and rave and tell her how her racist attitude is going to get her "hurt" in the parking lot. But I'm an adult, according to Claire. And I have to be able to set the GOOD example for my kids. Because they will have to deal with it on their own eventually.

And damnit if Ryan didn't take the high road by saying, "She's the one who has to live with herself." Fuck that. I wanted to cut the bitch.

Private School

We eat pretty much all our meals together at the table when Ryan's home. Usually breakfast. And we have the most interesting, hilarious conversations EVER. I wish there was a video camera on us at all meal times. The shit my kids come up with...wow.

Ryan: What bus is that?

Me: It's 6:30am. It's one of the private schools.

Claire: Private schools are for naked people.

At dessert tonight.

Miles: You're adopted too Claire!

Claire: I know how you get adopted.

Me: Oh really? How?

Claire: A mommy in Korea has you and then the mommy here says, "That baby is cute. I want it!" And then the Korean mommy has to give her to you.

Me: That's REALLY not how it works.

Claire: Yes it is. I've known it for years.

Miles: *eye roll*

First grade and Kinderstart. And a mom with no sleep

Oh brother. Where to begin with THIS post. Ugh.

Miles started First grade on Tuesday. Drop off was NOTHING like last year. He was a happy Star Wars clad fool! Seriously. I don't think he could have been happier, or more excited for all day school, lunch, and recess. Not to mention seeing a friend of his who told him last year, "I'm moving to Florida. I'll miss you best friend." We found out last week at Meet the Teacher night that his friend would sit just 2 rows over from him in class. Hilarious.

So this is my happy Star Wars kiddo. I'm not joking about the Star Wars. He was wearing his Star Wars shirt, Star Wars backpack, Star Wars lunch box, and I'm pretty sure he was wearing his Star Wars underwear.

Claire's first full day without her brother was tough. I think she had a hard time. The kids play together all the time, and she just kinda watched her movie, sighing now and again, and then looked over at me with a face that said, I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-myself-I'm-all-alone-in-the-world. She was almost as pathetic as this scene from The Jerk minus all the collecting of shit.



She just watched her little Barbie movie and hung out with me and my mom. It was pathetic.


Once Miles got home, he was bouncing off the ceiling. This boy LOVES school! He loves every single thing about it. WHEW! I wasn't sure. The all day school thing was a bit nerve wracking for me, but...he's still alive and still loving it.

Claire also started a new class at her preschool. It's called Kinderstart. She loves it too, but after the end of last year, I wasn't sure how she'd do. She cried every day last year from March until just about the last week of school. It was very odd, since she was fine for the first part of her year. Oh well...

Claire feels like she is a "big" kid now that she can: write her own name, my name and Miles' name just from memory, recite her phone number and address, and tie her own shoes. I am not kidding. I have no idea where she learned all this stuff. Miles can't tie HIS own shoes even if there was a Star Wars blaster to his head.

Claire on her first day!

Claire in mid shoe tie. She's serious about this shoe tying business.

I know you're all dying to know, "how did mom fair during this transition?" Let me tell you. I faired shitty. S-H-I-T-T-Y!

I got no sleep. None. Ryan was out of town for the week in South Carolina, and the kids slept in my room. Claire didn't go to sleep until after 10 every night. I have NO idea why. And I had to be up by 5:45 or 6 every morning. And let me tell you. It was usually 5:40 because I was sweating the whole getting the kids to school on time thing.

Miles has to be in the car ready to go at 7:50. It doesn't seem that early, but when you have a kid who eats breakfast like it's their last meal, and savors every bite they take, even when every bite takes 10 minutes each to put in his damn pie hole....*sigh* breathe......it takes a while. And I have to wake crabby, tired, no going to sleep at a decent time, little miss morning tantrum, Whoooo hoooo! It's a great time in the Teepants house at around 6:15 am. Thank god most people's windows are shut. How embarrassing. For them.

Eh..set aside all the sleep issues, I had meetings up the wahzoo. Who knew being the VP of the preschool's PTO would involve so much "meeting". I mean, don't get me wrong. Most, if not all, the meetings were necessary. We have the big fall fundraiser coming up, so we're all kinds of kicking it into high gear...but...I'm tired. So I'm salty about it.

And then I met with an attorney to get some estate planning done. Don't even get on me about NOT having that done yet. It's not the most pleasant thing to be discussing when my husband is out of town. But we decided it was time. Well...it involved yet another meeting. And I had to bring Claire with me. Mistake.

She's usually a good kid. But for some reason, sitting in a sterile office with a lady who spoke major monotone, juuuuussstttt about killed my kid. Because I was gonna kill her. She was crazy interrupting us. Ugh! And then find out a few thousand dollars later...yes THOUSAND dollars, I told her I'd get back to her. Because holy shit balls! She changed her rates from the last time I spoke with her. What the hell lady!?! Another thing Ryan and I need to talk about.

So....here it is...the kids survived the firsts of school. I survived. And we do it all over again tomorrow. Ryan leaves today for South Carolina AGAIN. But...I have no meetings this week. And I get to go power walking with my friends when Claire is in class.

Should be an easier week for all. Let's fucking hope so.

First day of school...

So..... here is the truth. I have no time to tell you about the start of school. I will get to it this weekend. But as I said before...Ryan's been out of town, and I have been "meeting-ed" out!

It will happen. I promise. But not until I get more than 4 hours of sleep a night, and someone takes these tired crabby kids off my hands for an hour or so.

I hate typos

After re-reading this last post, I noticed a million typos. Mostly annoying to me. Most likely not even warranting a second glance by most. I also noticed I used the word "off" WAYYYYY too many times.

I re-do my posts. A lot. I tweak them because I can't stand stupid grammar. Unless I did it intentionally. Which, I will admit, I do once in a while. Also...using a word more than I need too....can we say Pet Peeve?

So that's it for today. Annoyed. Oh and I am cleaning Claire's room for the umpteenth time. It's so messy. She's much worse than her brother. And one more thing. I have to go backpack shopping. I know I know.."it's kinda late in the game SJT". Whatever.

At least I'm doing it. Take pity on me. Ryan's going to be in South Carolina for the next 2 weeks. Including the first week of school. Wonder how he was able to swing THAT gig? Waking the kids up at 6:30AM every morning, after 3 months of sleeping-in-summer-break , and keeping them from being Crabby McCrabbertons will be SUPER fun for me.

AHHHH!!!! I hate typos. The end.