Moms can say all the wrong things sometimes

A few days ago I had a MOST inappropriate conversation with my kids. Keep in mind, I was sick, and really very exhausted from the 13 loads of laundry. And Ryan was at some happy hour getting drunk.

CLAIRE: "Mom. I don't want to be a girl. Well...I want to be a girl until I get my period, then I want to be a boy. And then when my period's gone I want to be a girl again."

MILES: " Ha ha I'm a boy! I'll never get my period."

(The kids asked me about some items that were in the bathroom one time, which lead to a puberty discussion. I don't lie to my kids. I tell them truth no matter how uncomfortable it is for me.)

CLAIRE: "That's mean! Don't tease me! It's gonna hurt and I'm gonna cry a lot!"

ME: "NO you won't. It'll be fine."

MILES: "Ha ha! You're gonna hurt and I'm gonna be fine cause I'm a boy! Ha ha ha ha ha....!!!!!" (finger point and all)

ME: (completely fed up with this conversation) "Well boys get Blue Balls." (see...inappropriate. Ugh. Sometimes I should just not say anything.)

MILES: "Claire look! (lifting up his shirt) I have BOOBLES!!!!"

Claire was out of the conversation at this point because she was laughing so hard she could barely catch her breath.

I don't know what happened. But we all decided we were done talking about periods and "boobles"

The BWCA!

Once again we've battled the elements and lived to tell the tale. Our annual trip to the Boundary Waters has been quite a success.

As I sit listening to Smashmouth, singing on a Scooby Doo episode, (kill me please) I miss the time we had with NO electronics. I know I can just shut it off, but it's raining, and my kids have been so good, they deserve some tv time. But look at this!



Our trip started early in the AM. We drove to Two Harbors and lunched there. Last year, we stopped in Duluth and had a long leisurely lunch in Two Harbors. This year, we ate fast food and high tailed it to the wilderness. Not sure what the difference was this year, but we knew we wanted to get up there.

Once there, it was overcast yet lovely. We set up camp and when we were done it looked like a shanty town. No kidding. We had 3 tents on our site as well as a screened in tent for eating. It was ridiculous, but trust me....having an extra tent for the 5 kids to play in was fabulous. Best idea I've had yet. Although Ryan disagreed. He felt it was excessive. But he wasn't complaining on the 3rd day when all 5 kids were STILL playing nicely (no fighting at all) and we could sit and chat around the fire or read books. Also it's a nice place to store the chairs and stuff at night. Cause you know it rained like a mother fucker while we were there. It always does. Notice the 3 tents all in a row? And ours isn't even in the shot. I know you're jealous.


The first night was great. Korean BBQ on REAL wood fire. Yum!!! Miles had his VERY FIRST S'more. No kidding. His first! He loves them. Claire however loves anything with toasted marshmallows. So....she put down a few. And then bed. We noticed the mosquitos were a bit worse than last year too, but not terrible. The next day we quick grabbed the site across from us, as another couple was joining us that night.




Ryan and Glenn took the kids fishing. And by fishing I mean, throwing a fishing line in the water and not catching anything but little Ellie's neck and Ryan's nipple. All courtesy of Claire. There was blood. And some yelping. But everyone survived. Miles was the one who was the MOST excited. Until he realized it was in fact NOT like shooting fish in a barrel. He bored quickly. He said, "this waiting is boring." But seriously. The kid was so excited about doing it before he actually went. It was sad to see his little almost fishing spirit crushed. But I have to say both Ryan and Glenn were happy they didn't have to clean any fish. They were youtube-ing it before we left, just in case. Nerds.


Fishing proved to be a bust, so we let the kids roam in the water. They were practicing for our big canoe trip the next day. It was hysterical. There were lots of wet butts, and psuedo pushing from Cameron the youngest of our group. To be fair, Cam was trying to jockey himself better positioning on the big rocks, but the bigger kids were in his way damnit!



Later, the "men" (including Claire) went off to gather more fire wood. And Lor and I read books at camp. It was nice. Oh and the kids left behind...they played in the kid tent.

Our friends got up later that night about 11:30. Which was crazy as hell because it was black out, and there's only a dirt road that leads to where we were staying. But our friend Dan is in the military and has been for several years. I was convinced all that training had to have helped with his navigation skills. Me? If it was me...I would have pulled over, got into the fetal postion and cried until dawn, when I could see the road again. But they set up their camp and went to bed.

The next day was rainy. Of course it was. No Boundary Waters trip is complete without rain several of the days. But we soldiered through and spent the day out on the water. Last year Miles complained the whole time about being bored. I told him he could read if he wanted to this year, and if I heard complaining, I would toss him overboard and he could float behind us by tow rope. Harsh? Maybe. But the complaining drove me crazy last year. And if anyone was going to bitch and moan about anything, it was going to be me bitching and moaning about how sore my arms were after 4 hours of paddling.

Dan and Rachel


Glenn, Lor and the kids




Anyway he didn't complain at all. He actually paddled with us and seemed to really enjoy the day. He told me he loved canoeing now. Thank the LORD! And Claire...well...Claire loves water. She told me she's a mermaid, that's why she always has to be in the water. And step in every puddle. And play in every patch of water in her periphery. And pretty much be ON or IN all water all the time. So she was in heaven. And she fell asleep. Something about the rocking and waves......

Well..she fell asleep and so Ryan and I had to portage carrying the canoe with her in it. So you know Ryan can't just flip it up over his shoulders like you're supposed to do. And I fell on rocks. AND the mosquitos were swarming us. My poor kids look like they've been attacked by some horrific virus that leaves big, red, puffy, pussing, sores on their foreheads. It's gross. But we made it. Probably 5 hours of canoeing for 3 miles. Not to shabby. *eye roll* AND I STILL have yet to see a fricking moose. UGH!

Our last night at the campsite was nice. We had to use up all the fire wood, so we had a rager! And then the rain came. And came and came and came. It didn't stop at all. So we packed up our last morning in the rain and reserved ourselves to getting breakfast on the road. But really? On the last day? It was just fine. We were leaving anyway. We headed out and bid good bye to Dan and Rachel because they didn't have kids and thus didn't have to sleep with 4 of them on one queen sized mattress, and also didn't mind the rain, AND didn't wake up. So there was that. And we headed home.

It's amazing what 4 hours and a few hundred miles can do to the weather. It was a 40 degree difference when we got home. I was not happy about the heat and humidity that we returned to. But I wasn't looking forward to the 13 loads of laundry either. No shit...13 loads. And I still can't get the campfire smell out of my hair. It could be worse. Ryan still has a horrible mustache. He's been trying to grow it for over a week now. I hate it. It's gross. He's blonde and it looks stupid.

But great trip really. And the two things I'm taking away from this trip as a learning experience....1: Bring a small tent for the kids to play with their shit in. This way you don't get dirt and pine needles and dead leaves all in your sleep stuff. Nothing worse than being poked with pine needles in the middle of the night. And 2: Use a paper plate to fan the fire. It's easier than blowing on it to get it started. Ryan almost passed out blowing on it in the rain to get it started. But the paper plate? Genius! All my ideas too. Ha ha!

Now just a bunch of random things to look at. Cause I took way too many photos for my own good. I have a problem.

Insomnia...I think

I have it figured out.

This past week I have been going to bed super late. It's annoying. I WANT to go to bed earlier, but I can't seem to. I attributed it to insomnia. But...as I think about it, I'm pretty sure it's something else.

Since the kids have been out of school, they haven't gone to bed earlier than 9pm. And during the school year they are asleep at 7:30PM...which means...I have "me" time then.

"Me" time consists of no kids, no sound but whatever I decide to hear, and some kind of sweet. Maybe a piece of chocolate, or a cookie. Anything I stash from the kids and Ryan so I can have it and not have to share. Yes yes...I'm THAT mom. But whatever.

So I have been going to bed around midnight or 1 instead of 10. And today in my morning haze, I realized what is causing me to be up so late. So, no no it's not insomnia. It's my selfish need to be alone, kidfree, for 3 hours at night.

How ridiculous for my body to demand 3 hours of time in the evening no matter how tired I am. Seriously. I will be so tired, but yet, I can't fall asleep. Stupid body. Stupid head. Stupid kids staying up until 9pm or later.

Oh wait...that last part is my fault. It must be because I'm so fracking tired! And don't get me started on my short term memory. It took me 15 minutes to remember what I was going to blog about once I opened my computer today. Ugh. So...new title to this post...Insomnia? Or old age. GAH!

Good bye LADC

Well, it's over. After 6 years, my kids and I are no longer part of the Lake Area Discovery Center.

It's quite possibly the best preschool I've ever known, in all the land, of all the world, in the whole of the universe. Miles was there at the age of 2 and he's going into 2nd grade. And Claire started at 2 as well, and is now moving onto Kindergarten. *sigh* It's kind of tough for me. I have been super involved with the PTO these past 2 years. And have made very good friends. Ah well....kids get older.

Claire had her graduation and this is what she looked like DURING the graduation ceremony.


Seriously. She was THAT stoic throughout. After the ceremony at the cookie social...THIS is what she looked like.


After graduation the school hosts a potluck picnic with all the kids at a local park. It was madness. The wind was whipping. And there were millions of 3,4,and 5 year olds trucking around. But it was fun. They played games and sang songs....and then it was time to go.




After the picnic we got icecream with Claire's BFF and another friend.


This will be truly a hard transition for Claire. She's going to start Kindergarten with NO kids from her preschool. We went to a school that was in a whole other city from our district. But she's young. She's resilient. She'll be fine. Now me on the other hand...I needed MY BFF to come to graduation with me. I was not going to be the lady sitting in the crowd crying by herself. Thankfully, there were many other crazy ladies crying too. But it's nice to have a bestie to laugh at you when your make up is smearing. That and she'll tell you if you look stupid.