My girl friend Kelly reminded me that a friend of ours was murdered 6 years ago today. It seems so long ago, yet, like it just happened when I think about it.

He was a good man. It's sad. I'm sad.

I am also thinking of my friend Kelly and how hard it must be for her every day.

I miss my friend.

Purge and then Binge

I have had to go through all the kid's clothes today. They have very little left that fits.

I mean if we lived on a flood plain we would be fine, but since we don't...they have been put in bag labeled for garage sale.

A girlfriend of mine is doing a garage sale and has generously offered to price my stuff for me and sell it at her sale. I HEART her. I despise labeling things for sale. Maybe because I know how much I actually paid for the stuff that makes me cringe at selling a 35 dollar sweater for 25 cents. Or just the thought that I am asking people to pay ME for this used stuff. I don't know. Either way...she's gonna do it for me. Thanks friend. Now that I think about it..I'm just lazy.

I did offer it to her for her 2 boys first. I would rather give the stuff to someone who would use it. But I also know her 3 year old is bigger then my almost 5 year old. And the youngest is a baby still.

Then there's, what do I do with all the girl stuff? Anybody I know who has girls....doesn't need it. Either their kids are bigger then mine or they just don't "do" used clothes. Hey I don't judge. I just offer.

So I did the big liquidation this morning.

I am not kidding when I say...My kids have a lot of clothes. And sadly, when I get rid of these, I still have to get more. More cause they keep growing. And for some ungodly reason, my kids have had a growth spurt that I don't care for.

I told Ryan I would have to get some new things for the kids. He just said.."ok". I think he is a little defeated by the notion we will have to go through all this again in less then 6 months.

I love to shop. I will put that out there right now. But to HAVE to shop. I don't care for it.

Ah well. I will go on my kids clothes bender here for a while.
Re-group in another few months and do it again. The cycle never ends. But it's ok. Pretty soon both my kids will be the same size and then they can share clothes. I don't care if they are boy and girl. Unisex is my savior.

Provocation need not apply!

Today I have been provoked to be annoyed. Is that possible? Something provoked me and NOW I am annoyed. There..that's what I meant to say.

I can't specifically point to what it is that pissed me off, but it's there. I would have to say there is a whole plethora of things that lead up to the proverbial straw that broke the damn camel's back. And...well....RAWWWRRRR!!!!

I thought the day was gonna be just fine. Of course there is the standard that is my sleep pattern at night. Maybe 4 hours a night these days. But I am getting more and more used to sleep deprivation.

Then the actual "meatiness" of the day. Schlep kids here and there, do laundry, make meals for kids and spouse, and then...what the hell is that pinching in my neck? I think I have a stress related, no sleep gettin' injury. But...no biggie.

I have the feeling it is the little things and conversations throughout the day, nothing specific, that have made me feel....salty. And YES I AM SALTY! That is the word I have been looking for all day! SALTY! I like it! SALTY!

I have decided I am done trying to be happy-go-lucky and just let the true nature and saltiness prevail. Surprisingly, I am not taking it out on the family per usual. I actually find them wonderful and down right lovely. I'm pretty sure this satly state of mind will subside by tomorrow, but for now.......

You want salt for that? I got some.

Everyone needs one of these

I have a friend. She's a bit older then me. Maybe 15 years older. I LOVE her.

Our kids play together weekly. And we have our "grown up" talks and coffee, while they romp around the house, or whatever designated location we have decided to subject ourselves to.

She is the kind of friend who will always tell me what's what. She has no fear in telling me if I'm being an ass. I think she, Ryan and Jill are the ONLY people who are ALLOWED to do this without repercussions.

However, she is the cat's meow at giving me shiny new perspective. And holy shit do I need that on occasion. She also listens and helps me work things out. I like it.

We don't always agree on everything. But it doesn't matter. Our kids love to be together. Our sons have grown up knowing each other. It's a special bond that I don't think will ever change. And our other kids really dig each other too.

Ryan and I adore her and her husband. They are great people. We have a lot of fun with them. They may be older then us, but they are very young at heart.
Her husband and I are trying to bring the word "FOXY" back. We are those people. I know...right? It works. Don't say it doesn't.

Anyway....I felt like paying this homage to my friend. Who helped me out today with a sticky, messy, stressful, situation. And per usual I feel confident about the decision I will be making and with how I feel about it. I'm not a freak! I'm not!

Thank you for the millionth time friend. You are the bees knees. *wink*

The Asian Invasion

Yesterday we had our "Korea group" get together for our annual Reunion. We all met in Korea while picking up our children. We have had a reunion every year to celebrate. Since then our group has grown immensely!

We have lunch at a Korean restaurant and then back to our house for dessert and for the kids to play together. It's not easy to get all these kids to look happy at the same time. Or at the camera together.

Jedi Lightsaber-vs- Batman Sword


Miles and friend LOVED playing together. Too bad they live so far away.


Claire and her future husband.


No comments on the shit photography. I'm not a pro, and I have a bad camera. But you get the general feeling for the day. And anyone is more then welcome to photograph my kids....especially you Jill...you have that something special.

Oooopsie Daisy.

The other day the kids were playing exceptionally well together, when all of the sudden I hear Claire bellow out, "You're being a DB Miles!"

DB in our house means douche bag. Ok ok...the kids don't ACTUALLY know it means that, but suffice it to say, anyone who is friends with us...knows what it means. And uses it with gusto.

The only reason we gave such an awesome phrase initials is, back when Miles was tiny, I was telling Ryan not to be a douche bag. I think he was monkeying around and it was bugging me....but sure as shit...the minute it came out of my mouth....my "echo" said, "G-ouche bag Daddy!"

Yep. I got the usual, "thanks sweetie" from Ryan. And hence...DB was initiated. Only because I think that word is Hee Haw High-larious. And I like to use it liberally. Because let's face it. On a daily basis, I can run into at least one or two of them just in the first half of my day.

But this revelation of Claire's that those two little letters are pretty derogatory or are in fact something to say to someone when they piss you off.....????? Means I gotta re-think some of my swears.

In one of my very early posts, I talked about "the words I use". Not swears. But words I use that some people would say..."huh?" So I constructed a list of these words. Just for my friends. Cause that's all who read this craziness anyway.

Maybe I should start inventing other words for swears now. Apparently they must be so elaborate, no one will get it. Cause Lord knows I don't need Claire telling some little kid in her class that he's being a, "DB or an A-hole or to shut the F up." Not that I say that stuff around my kids...often.....but DB does slip out. And she used it. In the manner in which it was meant.

AND.....Miles told her, "that's a dirty word! Only grown-ups can say it!" So he knows it too.

As my BFF's mom used to sing.....
Shit Fuck Damn.

I could go on but you get the gist.

Meeting old co-workers

Tonight I was in St. Paul. No kids. No husband. At Cafe Latte with a bunch of old co-workers from back in the day.

It was awesome. Some of them I see all the time. Still. But some I haven't seen in over 10 years. They look the same.

One dude even smelled the same. GAG! He is this huge burly dude who smells like a combination of baby powder and Aqua Velva. He definitely thinks highly of himself. He clearly works out. Muscles like nobody's business, but kinda always gave me the creeps. Anyway...

The women look the same. And let me tell you, they were older then I was when we all worked together. I would say they were easily 10-15 years older when I worked with them. And yet, they look exactly the same. Some even have the same hair style.

I have had this happen to me recently. Meeting old friends. Seeing them for the first time in more then 10 years and they look the same. Nothing has changed. I say what the fuck?!

I most certainly look different. My big ol' round face has been made rounder, thanks to gravity. My "high cheekbones" have sunk into fatty jowls. I'm not kidding. Just check out photos of me from highschool and compare them to now. JOWLS! As far as the eye can see!

Although I have been told the magical cure for falling Korean faces. A friend of mine from Korea, who still lives there, tells me everytime she sees me that I need to....

Put frozen spoons on my cheeks. She would hate for me to "embarrass" my husband by having a fat face.

I told him when we got married, I was gonna be the biggest Teegarden woman in his family. And frick frack if I haven't met that life long goal. Thanks in part to "the cheeks."

It's the worst sound in all the land

I read a post from someone recently about how her husband is sick and is snoring like a buzz saw. To make matters worse, he tosses and turns all the live long day as well.

I don't know this person in the "real world". I just follow her blog cause damn it she's funny. And I like funny. I felt compelled to comment. But I don't think it was enough...so here goes.

I hate, loathe, despise, detest, with every fiber of my being, snoring. From anyone. At any time. Whether I am attempting to sleep myself, or if I am wide ass awake. I once dated a fella who snored so bad I had to sleep with ear plugs in. I shit you not! Ear plugs every night for 2 years!!! The sound makes me want to rip out the person's jugular and choke them with it.

I am NOT a violent person by nature, but I swear to you...if I hear snoring from Ryan....something takes me over. I usually will give him a courtesy throat clearing to see if maybe that will do it. But often I MUST resort to this.... *huge shove* "RYAN! YOU'RE SNORING!!!!" To which he mumbles something drowsily and rolls over. But if it continues...I will, yes I will, implement the "angry flop".

It's not hard to do. It requires me to sit up, flop back down, deep sigh and roll my eyes. I don't know why I roll my eyes. The man is sleeping. That piece of it must just be for my benefit. It will usually work for the rest of the night.

So here is the problem. On occasion Ryan will have indulged a bit too much with the libations. Not a problem. Until he starts snoring. At which point, I am verging on yelling in his face to get him to roll the fuck over. I have, since children, just left the room. Why didn't I leave the room in the first place all those years past you ask....easy. I'm not the one snoring. And I LOVE my bed. Which leads me to the other problem.

We have a Tempurpedic bed. You've seen them right? Basically if someone is laying in the bed with you, you can't feel them move at all. And it is in fact true. You don't feel movement. So....I am gonna have to work on the "angry flop". It's moot at this point.

Either way...Ryan has been out of town for the week this week and I was looking forward to quiet nights. But when Ryan goes out of town...the kids and I have a sleep over. They sleep on my bedroom floor in sleeping bags. And GOD DAMN IT if Claire hasn't started snoring!

I gotta find those ear plugs.

He does WHAT???!!!! On a business trip?

Like I have posted earlier, Ryan is in Dallas for work. He hates these trips. He hates staying in a hotel.

Ryan is not the type of guy to explore a new city. He is more the work-as-late-as-I-can kinda guy.

He eats Subway for every meal but breakfast, which consists of packaged oatmeal and coffee. He keeps it as simple as possible when he travels.

When he isn't at the work site he is in the hotel room working or in their exercise room running. He's a runner too by the way.

Occasionally, if we have friends where he is traveling, he will meet with them for dinner and be a little more adventurous. Sadly our friends from Dallas have returned to MN permanently in the past year.

I know some co-workers of Ryan's will go out on the town. Eat big fat steak dinners, buy 200 dollar bottles of wine, and spend hundreds on lap dances. Not Ryan. Even if he is working out of town with other co-workers and goes out with them. He calls it an early night. I always say..."hey if they are going out why don't you?" I don't even care about the strip clubs. But he doesn't care for that stuff. I'm only jealous because of the great restaurants he gets to eat at, and the fantastic wines and beers he can have. All paid for by the company. But he rarely partakes.

So I called him tonight to see what he was doing. He sounded a little guilty, and I wondered. Did he go out? What? What happened? What was he doing?

I said..."what are you doing? You sound weird."

He answered.....

"Getting webkinz cash for Miles and watching Dancing With the Stars."

I really really REALLY love my geek husband.

Talk about celebrating all alone

Claire had a piece of chocolate this morning.

This is what I heard while she was opening it.

"Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear ME...EEEEE
Happy birthday to me!" "Now open your present me."

Everyday is her birthday when chocolate is involved, apparently.

I love how she has to tell HERSELF to open the present. Classic!

And again

Ryan is out of town for the week. He's in Dallas.

Last year when he traveled, it was about this same time I almost lost my shit. He was gone 3-4 weeks out of every month from January to April, and I was home with 2 little kids, who didn't quite dig the freedom that having one parent allowed them.

But, the kids are older and are much better listeners. (I hope) And we are kinda used to the travel at this point, although he hasn't had to travel since July.

Oh well....I do hate it when he's gone though. I mean..it's nice once in a while to have him "out" working for the day. He has been working from home for 2 months. And all that TOGETHERNESS can be a tiny bit much, not complaining however. But it's always zero to sixty with travel.

So...I will commence super multi-tasking and super momming. Ehhh....it could be worse. But I won't say how, just in case I jinx myself. That would be GREAT! And I used caps to show I was being sarcastic. I know the score.

These fools didn't bring dessert!

I made them dinner. I always make dinner. Several times a month as a matter of fact. They always bring Ryan beer. I like beer. But I really REALLY like dessert.

For crap's sake. These boys have known me for 12 years at the very least. DESSERT BOYS!!!!

I should stop reading the paper

Again...today in the Sunday paper....there is an article in the Parade magazine. This is a little circular in the Sunday paper which I read...for fluff. But today the main article is titled, "The World's 10 Worst Dictators" by David Wallenchinsky.

Now...I try to keep up with the goings on in the world. But to keep myself from building a steel shelter, filling it with supplies, loading my family in, and not letting them out for years and years, I keep it to a minimum. I don't want to be naive to things, but I don't want to end up in a depression so deep injectable "happy chill pills" can't get me out.

Reading this article today made me cringe. I do know of some of these men. I have read about them, and what they do. The worst dictator right now according to the writer is Robert Mugabe, the leader of Zimbabwe. That man is one sick fucker. Well so are the rest of them. They really really are. Crimes against humanity? I say "BOOOOO-urns!" Here is the run down....according to the writer:
1: Robert Mugabe (Zimbabwe)
2: Omar al-Bashir (Sudan)
3: Kim Jong-Il (N. Korea)
4: Than Shwe (Burma)
5: King Abdullah (Saudi Arabia)
6: Hu Jintao (China)
7: Sayyid Ali Khamenei (Iran)
8: Isayas Afewerki (Eritrea)
9: Gurbanguly Berdymuhammadov (Turkmenistan)
10:Muammar al-Qaddafi (Lybia)

I almost feel like I should live in a bubble. I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life like I did yesterday...playing outside in clean air with my kids and friends surrounding me. Having dinner with them and drinking clean water. Without fear that it could be taken away in a nano-second because some sick bastard just decided that my 2 year old daughter looked "nice". But then again, I feel such sadness knowing these men are torturing, raping, starving, imprisoning, and killing their own people.

Yes yes...I will stop reading for now. Enjoy my family and friends once again. As well as the luxuries I take for granted everyday. But I know I can't turn a blind eye, and I am more then certain I will hear/read/see more that is happening in the world. It's ok...sometimes things are ok. If they get worse, you can find me in my underground bunker. If you want in..bring your own supplies and knock twice while singing Delta Dawn. I love that song.

4 years ago we got ourselves a baby

This is the first meeting we had with Miles in Korea.

We took him and left the country shortly after.



He seemed to like us, so we figured it was ok.

See what lounging in bed all morning gets ya?

My husband always makes the coffee in the am. I require it to function properly. But Ryan is up before the damn rooster crows here to run, and the coffee is made way too early for anyone's good. With the exception of his own.

So my daughter was up until an ungodly hour last night, due to the 30 minute nap she took in the afternoon. When I say ungodly, I mean oh....11pm. Which is too late if you ask me. I mean...I need time to sit sans kids, with a drink, and be able to smooch my sweetie without a peering eye. Kinda ruins the mood when a toddler moans...."ewwwww gross...why are you kissing?"

So she now is sleeping. It's 9:30 am. WE (the collective we) are usually up way before this. So I stay in bed watching infomercials, and checking the internet until she awakens. But...when I came out of my room at 8 am, I noticed once again the coffee timer is almost shutting off. Which indicates the coffee had been made for at least 2 hours and is now in turning off mode. Meaning....cold coffee.

I also notice 3/4 of the pot is gone. I thanked Ryan for saving me some. I notice he has switched to green tea. Interesting.

I point out that most of the coffee is gone. He said, "you're lucky I saved some."

Apparently Miles told him to save some for me. Cause the boy knows I NEED it.

So what DOES laying around all morning get me you ask?

Knowledge, my son realizes I can be a raging bitch if I don't get coffee in the morning. That's pretty much all I got.

Swiper the Box

My daughter has decided she will now watch Dora. She has loved Diego for I don't know how long. She even insisted on my purchasing the Diego pull ups and NOT the Dora ones. Heaven forbid I make the mistake.

But the one thing she just hates hates hates on Dora is Swiper the Fox. It's this stupid fox that tries to steal shit from Dora and her monkey named Boots. If you see it you're supposed to yell...."swiper no swiping!" 3 times and then the fox says, "oh man." and leaves said shit alone.

My Claire has gone a few steps further while she interacts with this show. Once the fox says his habitual "oh man" she will yell out in the most devious voice...."that's right! You'll never get it!!!!" Then she laughs like a deranged lunatic. It really is kinda cute. I'm real proud.

She also will tell us, more then once a day..."Watch out for Swiper the BOX! He's mean!" And to be honest, I think she is scared shitless of the damn fox. I mean box..no wait..fox.

Fun

Today I got to spend the day with some friends from High School. One girl I haven't seen since I left good ol' Heights. The other is a guy friend who I have seen a few times over the past 2 years.

We got the kids together at a HUGE indoor kids playland. Really it's just a petri dish of who knows what the hell. But great for the kids, and the hand sanitizer companies.

It was weird. The girl, who I haven't seen in almost a full 18 years looks exactly, I mean EXACTLY the same. I found myself looking over at her and feeling like I was back in time. It was weird. And of course I told her so. Several times. Over and over. During the whole day. Tee hee hee. I couldn't help myself. It was crazy. I am sure I sounded a bit batty. But she looked like she hadn't aged at all. And she was certainly just as darling and friendly and adorable as she ever was.

She filled me in on all the goings on with people I had known in the past. Like who got married to who. Who was divorced. Who had kids. And pretty much gossip that followed said individuals after HS. It was fascinating. I hadn't thought of many of those people for years.

Her kids are darling too. Miles and her son got along like you wouldn't believe. It was great.

My guy friend just sat there and put his 2 cents in once in a while. But he didn't seem to remember many of the folks we were talking about. So he just watched his 1 year old make googly eyes at the moms, and at one point, had to go to his son's aid, as he held his little chubby arms up to one of the mom's as if she should hold him. My friend's son not my friend. Shameless really.

But a fun day. I wonder if I will see this girl friend again? We said we would plan it again soon, but...maybe I scared her with the whole insistence she hadn't aged at all. Honestly. It was crazy!

Wow has it been that long?

Ok so today is Thursday and I noticed I haven't posted since Monday. Crazy. Not too much has been going on.

The kids have been on spring break this week. And their spring break is certainly not the fun-rip-roaring-drunk-fest-spring-break I remember.

As a matter of fact, spring break for pre-schoolers is a lot of fucking work for me. Talk about stress. I won't even try to bore you all with the details of trying to keep a 4 1/2 and a 2 1/2 year old entertained for an entire week. Suffice it to say...it's hell. And I have developed the worst case of insomnia. So not only am I having to schlep my kids around and find new creative things to do with them, I am so exhausted I can hardly see straight. Crap.

But do you remember what spring break was like when it was just you? Or just me for that matter.....I miss that time off. No responsibilities. I mean I could work that week if I wanted to. Or I could have gone on a 9 day bender. It didn't make a difference. I could do what I wanted to do. Even when I was out of school, when I worked. I could have taken a week off to go somewhere, drink till I puked, show strangers my "private business", and pretty much participate in all around debauchery. Not that I did ALL of that, but I could have. And I did some of it. That's the point of spring break. School or not.

Now....it's not the same. It's battling other parents in crowded "kid friendly" environments, who for all intents and purposes are longing for their own "lost" spring breaks. Trust me. I can see it in their eyes as they are shoving their kid in the stroller, to stand in line at McDonald's with a million other parents.

I imagine once the kids are a bit older, Ryan and I will be traveling with them to, I don't know...Disney, or some other obnoxious theme park. But really? Is that still the spring break you remember? Sure as shit isn't one I can think of.

And then, when our kids are old enough to go on their own spring break, I will be scared shitless of to be truthful, because let's face it, I know what they are going to be doing. This knowledge, will not make for a worry free spring break for me. I suppose I knew it would happen eventually. I did sign on to be a parent. And even this little rite of passage comes with the territory.

But for now....I hate other parents who don't watch their kids in these kid centric packed environments. If you kid pushes my kid one more time I apt to go ape shit. I hate spring break right now. Enjoy yours!

Just one of those days

Have you ever woken up just.....surly? I did. Today. It is just the way it is.

I have these days where I just feel like if ONE thing doesn't go the way I planned I will freak the fuck out. And today was that day. On days like this I usually do my husband the courtesy of telling him, "I want to pick a fight with you right now and I can't help myself." And he does what any man should do when faced with this sentence. He leaves the room and takes the kids.

Good man.

However, there are the days where I am not that insightful, or civilized, and he receives the full on brunt of surly pants Teegarden. Oh that's me by the way.

Today started out like most mornings. So I thought. I was a bit overtired. I haven't been sleeping well. My dreams have been so vivid I don't feel like I have been sleeping at all. But I digress....we had breakfast like normal.

Then started the whole paying bills fiasco......agony. You have to understand...Ryan and I have a very open communication relationship. When we are mad we talk it out. Boring I know. We also have the whole..."men are from Mars women are from Venus", misunderstandings too. Usually these are due to money.

He gets annoyed or angry about something totally unrelated to me, but I "hear" that he is blaming me or angry with me. And the cycle never ends. Of course we are both idiots at this point in the argument. We use a lot of phrases like, "I can never be angry?" Or, "that is the way it comes across to me!" But really we probably want to just say, "shut the hell up about it already!"

But when I am in "surly mode" it's not good to have these types of "discussions". I pretty much was bitchy all day with the exception of a few fleeting moments. So I watched Brothers and Sisters to quell my irritation. It kinda helped, due to the addition of a rather handsome new brother....blah...sorry.

So....all things considered, I did pretty well. Ryan and the kids are still alive. I count that as a victory. They spent much of the day outside. Away from me. I made dinner and didn't feel too put out. No more serious dialogue regarding finances. And Brian is over with beer so the night will hopefully go on without incident. We'll see. I prefer not to alarm friends with my bitchery. It's reserved exclusively for family.

It's Sunday Blah.......

Woke up at 9 am. Claire was up for almost 2 1/2 hours last night.

Had breakfast. Ryan made pancakes yesterday. Reheats.

Sorted kid's laundry. Forgot to start it.

Went out to lunch to celebrate "arrival" day for Miles. 4 years today!!!! His favorite restaurant....Red Lobster...*blech*puke*wretch*

Went to used book store and got some for the kids. My parents were along for the ride the entire outing.

Came home and kids played outside for MANY hours.

Started laundry finally.

Kids came in soaking wet. Claire peed her pants once. I think.

Grilled turkey burgers for dinner. Brian didn't come cause he was barfy. That bum.

Finished laundry.

Bathed kids.

Put meds in Miles' eyes 4 times today. We should get an award for being so diligent. Miles should get one for not bitching about any of it.

Watched some stupid Dora. Yeah....... I said STUPID.

Played with Playmobil Pirate stuff and Star Wars action figures.

Worked out while watching the movie "Saved". Love it. Fricking hilarious.

Waiting to put the kids to bed.......

THIS is a Sunday. And we have spring break this week. Let's hope I have more interesting things to post. At least the windows are open. I'm pretty excited about that. And...having Miles here for the past 4 years and celebrating it, has been the highlight of my day.

Ahhhhhhhhhh...........

Ok. I'm tired. I didn't sleep very well last night. If today me, told last night me about how today would go, I would have slept like a rock.

My kid is a medical freak of nature. First off...he woke up this morning and said...."is it my surgery today?" He was actually hopeful. Crazy.

Then he just played at the hospital and was very attentive when the anesthesiologist was talking. Weird. The doctor told us we may have to hold Miles down when the do the gas to put him out before the general anesthetic. I was not looking forward to that. But of course. Miles just laid there with party bear on his chest, (after he told the nurses that Pb can't be put under the hot blankets cause he was a polar bear and they only like cold). Well...he smiled as they gassed him. He told me he was floating. I asked him if he was flying the Y wing fighter and he let out a good giggle, and I felt his hand go limp. Then I cried. Shit...it sucks to see your little one pass out on a table with huge white lights on him. But I was assured I was not the first parent to get a little dewy. Let's hope his acceptance of the gas isn't an indication of him enjoying that feeling in the future....if you know what I mean.

Then about an hour later...done. His recovery time was weird. They kept him in the back alone until he completely woke up. That was about another 45 minutes. Then once we got back to him....he got dressed, had some juice, and asked to head home. I know, not many of us even adults, like to stay in the hospital longer then we need to.

Once home, I swear to you, it was like nothing happened. He didn't complain of pain. He started playing with toys and begged for some food. The docs had warned to start with clear liquids and soda crackers. We did. And after half a sleeve of soda crackers he was asking for more. Something that tasted better. Laughable.

We told him that this weekend would consist of a Star Wars movie marathon, and whatever he wanted to eat. We meant WHATEVER. I mean he's 4 1/2 and he had surgery for crap's sake. So if he wants Doritos and McDonald's for 2 days...he gets it. I did squeeze a bowl of grapes in there. (yay mom)

So...the promise of watching unlimited Star Wars and eating crap for 2 days helped him become one with his surgery and recovery. Huh...piece of cake. I would post a photo, but he said no.

I can't sleep.

My four year old goes under the knife tomorrow morning. I am stressed.

I have had many surgeries in my lifetime. 6 to be exact.

But having to have my little guy do it is so nerve wracking, I'm sick.

He is having eye surgery. I know....no big deal. It's not so much the surgery itself. It's the anesthesia. He has never had it. I have no idea if he has an allergy to it. I don't even know his family medical history to know if a distant uncle twice removed died from it.

So here I sit when I should be in bed trying to sleep. Shit.

Hopefully the only thing I have to worry about is what crazy monkey business he spews out when he is waking up from the anesthesia. I am sure it will be something about (and in no particular order), Star Wars, Red Lobster, and boobs.

Updates to follow tomorrow. Hopefully he won't let me down with the funny quotes.

PS.....my best friend is also having surgery tomorrow. Oral surgery. They are going to dremmel her mouth bones. *cringe* Good luck BFF.

Are your kids obsessed too?

My kids are strangely consumed with boobs. Breasts, knockers, jugs, hooters, melons, gazongas, rack, and my personal fave, twin peaks.

They really are. For example...you know my kid's favorite things are Star Wars and Hello Kitty.

Claire would call it Ta ta's and Ho ho titty. That's the kind of dual birthday party they had. A ta ta's and ho ho titty party. No longer said that way, but it will be an ongoing joke forever. I guarantee it. Ask Jill.

Miles was intrigued by nipples for most of his toddler life. He was actually really interested in what they were and if we all had them. He would ask random people if they had "their nipples on". To which the person in question would look at me like, "what the hell you teachin' that kid?" To which I promptly responded by blaming his dad.

Claire now likes to walk around the house just shouting randomly..."BOOBIES!!!" Or she will say, "are those your boobies?" And if Ryan is not wearing a shirt she will laugh her ass off and point at him announcing, "your nipples your nipples!"

Tonight Miles was sitting in my lap, hugging me cause he had just gotten in trouble and was apologizing. He said...."is that a boob?" And I said "yes". Then, "is that your other boob?" I said "yes". Then he hugged me and said, "now my pecks are touching your boobs!" Then he let out a hardy har har.

What. The. Fuck?

Really. What did we do wrong?

The pigs are in the air!

Let's hope they fly!!!

Claire has been in the "big girl" underwear for 3 days. No accidents yet.

Seriously?! This is a big deal. We have entered the kid area. No more baby crap in this house.

It makes me want to purge all the baby toys, toss out every stitch of clothing that doesn't have a "T" after the size, and give the finger to diaper companies for charging so damn much for something that is kinda necessary. Cloth or disposable, they cost a-frickin'-lot! And really people, do you want our kids peeing and shitting all over your stuff? I didn't think so.

So we are there. No more pullups or diapers. I am happy. And on edge all the time. For fear there will be an accident at the most inappropriate time. Like in the check out at Target, or in the car on a long drive. Cause that would be TOTALLY, WITHOUT DOUBT, convenient.

At least there is something funny about it....the pee dance is to die for! Claire's is one of the best I have ever seen.

Ahhhh.....potty humor.

Anonymity via paper square

So today I ran across these photos. The country bumpkin photo was from the 9th grade Sadie Hawkins dance. It was a girl ask guy dance. The third dance in my high school career. Hee hee. Check out those sweet "friendship" bracelets. ON MY ANKLE! That's right. Jealous?



The other was from my Junior prom. I mean really. Look at that dress. I have no idea what I was thinking. Except the fact it actually gave me cleavage. I guess I was trying to be different. Mission accomplished. Out of the many MANY prom type dresses that I lent out over the years, this one did not make that rotation. I wonder why?

I am sure my parents still have it hanging in some closet in their house. Where all the other formal dresses went to rest in peace.





Oh FYI I didn't cover their faces cause they were hideous. I just didn't want to get a call that said, "take that shit down!" Cause I don't like deleting my posts. And well......this one is just damn hilarious to me and anyone else who made the same mistakes I did. Wonder what those guys are up to anyway? Thinking about Sadies 89 and Prom 91? Probably not. Oh yeah...I DID date James Bond for my Jr. Prom.

I want to be in HIS head.

I asked Miles what he was doing....

He said the Storm Troopers and Clone Troopers were having the day off.
Apparently when not saving or destroying a galaxy far far away they go to the movies.
DUUUUHHHHH MOOOOOOMMMMMMM!




Imagination. Wonderful isn't it?

I could totally have another one.

We took care of our friend's baby yesterday. He is 9 months old. Just about the same age Miles was when we got him.

He is a happy baby. Cute, giggly, easy. He ate well. He never cried. He napped. We took him out and about on a kid-centric day. We took him with our 2 kids and another family of 5. It was remarkably easy. We had him for most of the day too.

I thought 3 would just about kill me. But not so much. I think it may be that Miles is pretty old now and can take care of himself. Claire is working on it, and that helps. They both loved playing with the babe too.

Now flip to Ryan's point of view....

WE ARE NOT GETTING ANOTHER BABY! Too hard to get 3 kids in the car. Done and done.

That is the reason. Ha......easy enough I guess. If you know Ryan...you know THAT is reason enough not to get another one.

On a completely random note....when we got together with our friends their middle child asked..."hey!!!! When did you guys GET another baby?" Not HAVE, or when were you pregnant, or I didn't know you were going to have a baby........
Only a group of 5 adopted kids can get away with asking that since we just saw him last week.

I guess it makes sense. One week it was me and Miles on the playdate and then all of the sudden...POOF.....we had Claire. It happened so fast, and there was no lead up like the big belly, or going to the hospital. Now I know why I thought all babies came from the airport until my cousin was "born". I was about 7 when that happened.

Incidentally, both kids have told me they DO NOT under any circumstance want another baby to live with us. Miles even checked in with me this morning to make sure we weren't getting another one. RUDE. I bet his dad set him up to ask me. Just to see.

It's gonna be St. Patricks day

I'm adopted. My kids are adopted. My 3 sisters are adopted. We were all adopted from Korea and we like it. Well.....I guess I can only speak for myself, and maybe my youngest sister. We like it. I am still trying everyday to convince my kids THEY too will like it. I guess it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of brainwashing...errrr......teaching my kids about life.

The reasoning behind this post you ask....easy.

I hate St. Patrick's day. And it's coming. Soon.

Maybe "hate" is a strong word. I have a very healthy hearty aversion to it. For the reason stated above. It will be a common theme throughout this post.

When chatting with my hair stylist last night, she was going on and on about how much she LOVES St. Patrick's day. The only holiday really where there is no family expectation, and no gift giving. She pretty much admits she likes the demand free holiday. Hey....who doesn't? But...this one I have to sit out for.

Like I said...I'm adopted. My parents are about as white as you please. My mother is 100% Irish and my dad just about that German. So...maybe you can see where this is leading? Maybe not.

When my sister and I were kids, say kindergarten through 5th grade, we had to wear green on the 17th of March. To school. With buttons, that said shit on them...like..."KISS ME I'M IRISH" or "POWER TO THE LITTLE PEOPLE". And of course at that age we were too small to fight back. Damn you small stature! Curse you and all you bring with you!

To make matters worse, we grew up in white suburbia in the 70's. Yep. No color to be seen for miles and miles. Just us. We were it. And sure as shit on the 17th of March we were made to "fit" in with the rest of the kids who probably were a small portion Irish. They probably didn't look completely ridiculous clad in kelly green with buttons all over the place. Did I mention we were adopted in the 70's? When parents were told to "acclimate" their kids and "make" them fit in?

I say, way to scar a girl for life. St. Patrick's day should be a day of fun and frolic and drunken antics. But for me.....I refuse to have any green within 10 miles of my kids and myself. I want to burn the little fricking headband my mom has with bobbling shamrocks on them. And I never answer the phone when the caller ID tells me it's my parents. I know if I do....on the other end will be the most torturous rendition of "Happy St. Patrick's Day to you" a la the birthday song. I shit you not.

So I will remain in my house. Shut off from the world that day, unless we get a call from a certain friend who loves his Irish beer and needs a ride home from Downtown St. Paul. The Irish capital of MN. Damn him.

That's all I can stand, I can't stands no more!

Got yet ANOTHER ridiculous email from a friend today. Same friend. So I'm just gonna go ahead and block her. I'm done with it. It basically makes me angry, and annoyed, and that isn't how I want to start my day. I should have just known better.

I replied to a friend via email regarding the previous post about this same person. He posted a comment, and made me feel kinda dumb for staying friends with her. And so I explained myself to him. But....now that I read another annoying email from her, forwarded of course, I think I am ready to call it quits with being her friend.

It will be hard because we see each other a lot in the summer and our kids like each other quite a bit, but.....I really am tired of the shit she is sending. I know she thinks it's funny. I don't

Done and done. Sorry friend......if you read this.....I can't control what you think about others, but I can certainly control what I hear and read from you. Let's stick to the weather.

Thanks.....friend who called me out for being dumb. You're right, and I don't like it but I get it.

God damn you 6 month mark!

They say that your kids cycle 6 months good, 6 months bad.

A friend told me her kids were great at 1,2,3 you get it, and at their half birthdays they turned into satan.

I don't know if she jinxed me with that tidbit of information, but crap if she isn't right.

Claire has "cycled" into the she-devil she is destined to be. It happens right about this time. Feb/Mar and it doesn't go away until sometime after her birthday. IN AUGUST!!!!!

Miles goes in cycles too, but his are much less hormone driven. He just crys a little easier then usual. Nothing I can't handle.

Claire on the other hand....shit.

If it is an indication of what the teen years are gonna look like...I'm moving out as soon as her 11 and ONE HALF birthday hits. Check ya later Ryan!

Poor Ryan. He is already being purposefully ignored. If she doesn't like what he has to say...she will turn her head and completely disregard him. Then say..."I'm going to my room!!!!!" Walk into her room, and yes people...slam her door. Then refuse to apologize. Until SHE is ready.

I hardly allow this to happen to me. Must be something we share. She can't ignore me. I get right in her face until she acknowledges me. Must be that we are pretty much the same personality wise. Although I am convinced I am not stubborn like her. Ryan begs to differ.

Oh well. Things will turn around in the late summer early fall. Until then I will drink dinner with friends, and bitch incessantly here. Ah.....free therapy for stress. Love it. Oh...to top it off....both kids go through the cycles at the same time. It could be because they both have August birthdays. I like to believe they are both out to get me.

The new baby Ike.

Tonight we visited with my friends Brian and Kara. They just had a baby. He is cute.

We also were able to see Warren. Our beloved Jewish Canadian. He is in town for a Bar Mitzvah.

I love them all. Brian, Kara the baby and Good ol' Zed. That is what I call Warren, cause he is Canadian and his last name starts with a Z. Get it? In french....Canadian.....Zed?

Baby Ike is so so cute. His name is not really Baby Ike. But that is what I will call him until Brian says it's ok to call him Vinnie. Which will never happen, so Baby Ike it is.

We also were able to see some friends we haven't seen in a while. It was a nice evening.

My kids were surprisingly well behaved with the occasional bellow of disagreement from Claire. She would cry when the basement door was shut. It seemed to put my friend Jerry in kind of a small tizzy, only because he didn't know what the big deal was. And Jerry is the type of dude who is so laid back he seems jittery. It's weird. You would know what I meant if you knew him.

But driving home Ryan and I figured out what was going on and why Claire didn't want to be shut into the basement with a room full of strange kids and a super tall dude. Our children were in a new house, and with people they haven't seen in about a year. Now, Claire is only 2. So you can imagine what it was like. I forget I shouldn't just expect my kids to handle this stuff so well. But they do. It's awesome. They are really great with new environments and new people. Blah blah blah...

Enough about my kids.

Brian's baby is awesome! Can't wait to tell him about his "old man". I have stories to tell. Believe it! Maybe when he grows up he will look like Fred Savage too.

I need a bailout to keep up with the Joneses

I keep reading it to see if it was meant to be tongue in cheek. But I don't think it is. I also don't get too political or even close to it here, but I almost can't help myself.

This morning between eggs and the Sunday paper, I read an article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, page 5E. "Think you can live on $500,000 in New York? They can't"
By Allen Salkin New York Times.

Why you ask? Well the obvious, housing is insane in NY. Everyone knows that. But....the article talks about how the president wants to cap banking execs salaries of the banks that received a bailout. The cap would be $500,000.

Yes yes....we all could probably be just fine with a salary like that. We can have the house we want, the car we want and go on the vacas we want. However I know taxes would be high and expenses would be higher living in the house we want, driving the car we want, and going on the vacas we want.

This article basically says it would be impossible for the banking execs to survive because they have a "lifestyle" to uphold. Rent, Co-op maintenance, private school, drivers, nannies, charity ball gowns, personal trainers, 2 vacations a year (one to the beach and one to the slopes), and a house in Southampton. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many more items on their "must have" list, but really? I just.....well....I just.....blah.

I don't feel bad that these folks may have to cut back. They have had multi-million dollar salaries for years and years and NOW they have to cut back? Ok ok.....devil's advocate....Say our salary was instantly cut down to 1/4 of what it is.....yes that would suck. I get that. But I tell you what....I would cut back. And just be glad I still had a job in this economy. And hopefully those bank executives were kinda, a little bit smart about investing. They are bankers for fuck's sake!

There was a quote at the end of the article where Candace Bushnell said, "it's like the same thing that goes back to high school peer pressure. It's about fitting in."

Well...damn. I guess that explains it all away.

I just want to know....why did they put this article in our paper? I would venture a guess there is very little sympathy for these families. It's not like they will be out in the street right?

And if they will be....there will be a lot of middle aged men in Brooks Brother's suits and women wearing $15,000 ball gowns at the homeless shelters.