Lasagna dinner and other adventures

Last night we had the neighbor girl over for dinner. I don't know how it happened. One minute her and her dad were here to play Wii. And the next, she is running off with Claire telling her dad to "go home!" So he did. And she stayed for dinner.

She's 2.

I told the girls dinner was almost ready. We were having lasagna and stuff. They both seemed pretty happy about it. Miles made his regular oh-shit-you-know-I-don't-eat-that face, and our friend Brian just sat on the sofa and drank beer. (He had already eaten. I didn't just ignore him.)

Per usual, Miles got a different dinner, cause I sure wasn't going to sit through another hour and a half bawl fest over lasagna. *note to self.....knock that shit off*
And we all commenced eating.

Now I have been told that our little dinner guest rarely eats, and has atrocious table manners. Uh....at who's house? Certainly not ours. She used her fork, she used a napkin, and said please and thank you. Best I can ask for. And dinner was a go.

Then they started to get a little giggly. But that is ok, cause it's cute. Suddenly Claire busts out with this gem. Mind you, I have no idea how the train of thought went.

"I looooove Pasagna!"
"Pasagna!"
"LaJana"
"Vasagna"
"VAJANA!!!!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm eating vaJana!!!!"

Then her little friend said, "hee hee hee hee VAJANA! VAJ!"

Ryan was red faced holding in the laughter.

Miles joined in and threw in the token, "penisJana." I have no idea how it went on so long. I guess it just happened really fast and when I type it out it seems longer. Yeah...that's what I'm going with.

So "mom" had to step in, and say, "Ok girls..that's enough potty talk."

And they were done. For a second.

Little neighbor then announced she needed her booster seat. To which Claire quickly assured her what she really needed was a "booty seat". Loud laughter.

And then, the pièce de résistance, little neighbor girl yells out, and I mean YELLS OUT, "STINKY BUTT HOLE!" Over and over.

I swear to you Miles almost lost his milk. He laughed so loud I was surprised it didn't fly across the table. Now, understand, my kids don't say that. They say other things, but they know for a fact, THEY CANNOT SAY THAT. Why? I have no idea. But for some reason they didn't repeat it, they just laughed their fool heads off.

And that is how my dinner was last night. How was yours?

Un-fricking-believe-able

Ha.....I have a friend who is Vietnamese. She and I have been comparing stories about how people...yes probably even you....assume we are Chinese.

We aren't.

It's quite possibly the rudest thing ever. My friend Sk3tch always tells me I'm Hmong. And he doesn't pronounce it like it should be. He puts the emphasis on the H. So it's more like....Ha mong. But...he's an idiot. That's why I love him.

My girlfriend and I just think it's a joke. Would you go up to someone, randomly, not know them at all, and demand to know if they were a certain ethnicity? I sure wouldn't.

And white people? Really? Please don't do it. It's bad enough when other Asians ask, but it's just as bad when Caucasians do it.

Don't ask us, "WHAT ARE YOU?" with a look of pure disgust. Or....ask the same question with eager anticipation like you're gonna win some fucking prize on a gameshow if you get it right. Again. You won't. Most likely you will receive "the face".

The "face", is a polite, sympathetic, side smile. We tell you very nicely, "no I'm not". I certainly don't think you deserve to know "what I am", and in my head I'm thinking, "you fucking idiot. I should ask if you have a mental defect." But all the while....I'm smiling at you.

Just tired of it I guess. And for the record, I'm Korean. Adopted by Caucasians. Raised in suburban MN in the 70's.

This has been your public service announcement for today. Thanks.

Why I love him.

When Ryan and I first met, we were just friends. Drunk friends. For 2 years we only saw each other drunk. No, we didn't drink for 2 years straight. Of course I can only vouch for myself. We just saw each other at parties. And he was dreamy. But, I was dating someone else at the time.

Fast forward to 13 years later. (We've been together for 11 of those years) I have to say...I'm pretty darn happy with things. He's adorable. And awesome. He loves the kids a ridiculous amount. When I see him I think....hmmm.....yep, lucky girl.

Why am I gushing about my husband? Here's why. I was talking to a girlfriend of mine today, and we were re-hashing some old gossip. It's what we do. And I realized that after 11 years, Ryan is on the same page as me when it comes to our friends. He sees the same shit I do. Especially when it is fucked-up-beyond-recognition-shit. I can't be specific as there are no specifications...but suffice it to say, in the years past Ryan has been what I like to call...."oblivious to social situations". And this particular incident, HE was the one to bring up the "monkey business". I was just thinking it when we got into the car, but Ryan was the one to say..."what the fuck was that?"

See? LOVE HIM!!!!!

Minneopa State Park

We took the kids camping this weekend with our friends D and B. It was a first for the kids.

Holy shit!!! As I write, Claire is watching "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch" and some bug just flew across the screen and said..."I have the brightest bottom in Sunny Patch!" Ummmm....time to turn off the television. What the frickety frack?!

Speaking of lightening bugs...there were tons of them. And the hugest daddy long legs I have ever seen. I mean, not leg wise, but body wise. It was like they all had baby spider sacs ready to bust open. Ugh....it was disgusting. and they were EVERYWHERE!

We hiked by the falls. Falls...hilarious notion since the "falls" were like if someone had turned on a drinking fountain and let it drip over the space where the "falls" should have been.

We hiked on the trails through the woods and ended up by the MN river. But we had to turn around or risk walking the train tracks. When I say train tracks, I should start out by quoting Vern from Stand By Me, "You guys wanna go see a dead body?" I mean sincerely. It was just like it. I opted for "NO", as I would hate to tell the kids to, "move their fuckin' asses!" as the train comes barreling down the tracks towards us, while we are meandering over the bridge, singing Lollipop. Cause that would happen. I know it. The singing part too.

My favorite quote from the trip is Claire's. I took her to the bathrooms. Which were not flush....and she looked in the bowl, looked back at me, and said, "I sure wouldn't want to fall into there! That's a lots of poop." Smart girl that Claire.

The camping part was awesome. Claire hated it the first night, as she wet herself in the tent. I told the kids they were either in or out. I didn't want all those huge killer daddy long legs in the tent, let alone mosquitoes. So once they went in, they were in. She took it literally and peed herself cause she didn't think she could leave the tent. SERIOUSLY!!! That girl very rarely listens to me in the first place. Gah!!! Leave it to her to chose THIS time to listen.

The second night we were able to go into St. Peter for B's mom's "Boogie for Boobies" at some townie bar. She is doing the 3 day walk for breast cancer and had one of her fundraisers. It was the kids' first time in a "real" bar. And when I say real...it was just a bar. And the kids loved it. They played Ms. Pac Man. Drank kiddie cocktails until it was unhealthy. Ate peanuts in the shell and m&m's. Had people tell them they were "soooo cute". Then Miles promptly passed out once the jukebox came on at 8:30. Reminds me of my college bar nights. Tee hee....

Top events for camping.....the campfires, and the light saber fights with D and B's son N. It was a full fledged war. Their goal was to 'protect the queen.' And not D or B. Ha ha...just Claire. (direct quote from D by the way)

I don't have photos either. With the exception of my camera phone. In my mad rush to pack us up I forgot the camera. Thank goodness B had his, but I don't have photos on hand at the moment. I can post them when I get them from B. There are a lot of photos of dirty kids and trees. Oh and some of the "old haunted mill".

Great first camping trip with the kids. Why did we wait so long? Eh...who knows. Next up on the travel itinerary....more camping and a fun filled work trip to Omaha NE with Ryan. That trip will be full of 'special' memories I'm sure.

On a totally unrelated note, I started reading the Zombie Survival Guide. Very entertaining and informative. Not the best choice of literature to bring while camping next to a historic cemetery or haunted windmill. Just an FYI people.

I don't heart you Sk3tch!

Here is the reason he is the thorn in my side. Watch this video. Imagine your husband going around singing it all damn day long. Then have Sk3tch come over for dinner, and sing it all damn night long. THEN.....have your friends all over facebook post how much they love it in their status. And then thank Sk3tch for allowing them to see it. Damn you viral video!!!! I really do detest you.

BAT FIGHT

And damn you Sk3tch. You suck. I still love you though.

Wanna see two kids spontaneously combust?

Take them to the Mall of America.

Bring the 3 year old girl to the Sanrio (Hello Kitty) store and let her go.

Bring the 5 year old boy to the Lego store and let him build until his little fingers bleed.

Let them pick out a birthday gift for each other from respective stores.

Wait until August 4th and August 6th.

Hand out gifts.

Clean up pee pants.

My kids know what they each like. Miles got Claire a stuffed Hello Kitty doll. Claire got Miles a Star Wars Lego kit.

I promise....photos to follow. Cause that shit will be priceless!

Oh and this is there too....it's kinda weird. These stores are right next to each other. Claire loved it. Look real close.

Not too much lately

What's on my mind as of late? A few things. Nothing that has anything to do with my kids. Except for the fact I can't wait for them to go to bed so I can watch my newest obsession.

True Blood.

It is NOT for awake children. They shouldn't even be awake to HEAR this show. But I love it. With it's vampires, potty talk, and gratuitous sex scenes. Oh and the Luuurve story.

Like I said before. I do like the vampire story.

I'm not a freak. I'm not. I just find vampires interesting.

Now if you want to talk about freaks, my husband is on some kind of freaky zombie kick. As is my friend Kelly. His blog tells the tale of what type of weapon he would find most effective in a Zombie Apocalypse.

So Ryan is watching True Blood with me. He likes it, but doesn't loooove it like I do. He has been reading World War Z by Max Brooks. Some book about the Zombie Apocalypse. I also have been on the look out for a used version of the Zombie Survival Guide. Today I picked up, via request, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Freaky I tell ya.

I have been living the pseudo-supernatural entertainment life these days.

Oh to top it off....I saw the new Harry Potter with my BFF for her birthday on Sunday. Good movie.

Vampires, Zombies, and Wizards! OH MY!

I fogot to put this one in

I forgot. When I told the kids they could each bring ONE stuffed thing....Miles brought "Party Bear" and of course...Claire brought....you know who.



Little bastard got his own side of the bed at the hotel too. Jerk. I hate you Diego.

THE TRIP *Longest post by far*

*WARNING* This post's spacing will totally suck. Bear with me please.

We started out our excursion to the Black Hills South Dakota on a Tuesday. And of course we had bad weather most of the trip.


The kids were awesome in the car. Before we left, I told them that a road trip involved many things. Music, singing, movies, games and eating whatever you want. And man did they take that to heart. I swear they ate the entire time we were in the car. Crackers, cheese, carrots, snap peas, and of course...Nerds. They love those little pebble sugar bits. We played a lot of "I spy". Which kinda sucked with a 2 year old. All I heard was...."I pie wit my liddle eye sumpin gween!" When we would guess what it was....she always said no. Then when we asked her what she spied...she would tell us whatever we first guessed. It drove Miles ape shit. He kept saying..."that's NOT how to play Claire!!!" Ha ha ha....it was the only time in the entire car trip here and back that they argued.

We stopped off half way and stayed over night. The kids swam and we were able to meet up with my parents and my sister. Oh yeah...we were headed to a family reunion on my dad's side. Holiday Inn Express in Mitchell SD? Not bad for an overnight stop. Clean. And that's all I care about. I prefer not to get the herp from a hotel blanket BEFORE I am on a weeks vacation.

We saw the Corn Palace. Which is basically a small history lesson in corn and then a huge gift shop. Eh...take it or leave it. But there was an American Indian statue the kids thought was weird cause..."he didn't move the whole time, and his thumb is missing."
Next was the Badlands. Miles kept asking us if there were rattle snakes there. And he was scared shitless of going over the edge. Claire and I just trotted out, no biggie. The kids loved the climbing. And it was hot! We ran into my aunt and uncle there as well. Miles also told us he was excited to see the Grand Canyon. We told him it was the Badlands that we were in. Throughout the drive he kept saying..."I really love the Bad Canyon!"

Next stop, after multiple bathroom breaks, was Wall Drug. Talk about shit hole. So campy. I love it. It is such a strange place. But the kids had a bit of fun and we ate lunch there. Apparently South Dakota is a hotbed for teens from other countries to work for the summer. I don't know why...but there were many a transplant in Wall Drug. And at our cabin for that matter. But that is a whole other story.
More bad weather as we got closer to Rapid City South Dakota. There were multiple tornado warnings.

We finally arrived to the cabin at Sylvan Lake South Dakota. It was beautiful there.


Our friends D and B met us there. We vacationed together for a few days. It was so nice. We drove to Mt. Rushmore. Cheesy. We drove all around the Needles Highway. Barfy/Dizzy inducing. We bonfired and we just hung out. It was awesome to have friends along. They came from Wednesday night until Saturday morning.





After D and B left....I was dizzier then a mo fo....so we stayed up in the mountains and I had to do my exercises. That really sucked. The altitude messed with my brains. Ugh. So we stayed in the area and did a lot of rock climbing and hiking. Ryan made it a point to run to Harney's Peak every morning before the rest of us got up. That healthy freak. I love him. Apparently one morning he got trapped in a thunder storm and had to hide under some boulders. Poor guy.







As I said....it was a family reunion. But I didn't get the "ok" to post photos of said family members...so you don't get to see what they all look like. But we did spend a lot of time with about 50 or so family members. It was really nice to see them. They are spread out all over the US. Why South Dakota you ask? Because my grandmother and her family are from this very area. It is where it all started.

We left with very little fanfare. We had dinner with some cousins in a place called Hill City. The restaurant is called the Alpine Inn. The only question at dinner is 6 oz or 10 oz. As in steak. That's it. And it's good. If you get a chance to have dinner there, go early, stand in line with a drink and chat up the other tourists waiting like cattle to eat....well....cattle.

After dinner we headed out. We planned to stop half way again for the night. And of course there were more tornado warnings around us. And I mean AROUND us. We were just about 15 minutes ahead of the storm the whole time. Ryan didn't want to stop to let the kids go to the bathroom, for fear we would blow away. But we did stop in the Badlands. The gas station was closed so the kids went outside the way the old timers did it.

I guess....oh that reminds me...when we were in Deadwood, we went to the graves of Wild Bill Hickok and Calamity Jane. It is way WAY up there. We drove part of the way and then had to hoof it the rest. It's almost straight up. Once my parents saw the hill...they said no thanks and stayed down. D and B went with us too. The only stipulation D had, was that we be out of the cemetery by dark. Ha ha.

So we get up there with the kids and sure as shit, Claire bellows.."I gotta go pee!!!!" Of course. And there is no bathroom, as the reception area is closed for the night, and we are probably entering the cemetery illegally. We knew she would have to go outside, but for fear of tempting the cowboy spirits, we took her out and down the parking lot to go. God. Can you imagine what kind of "ghosts" would be chatting her up in the middle of the night if she peed on their graves?

Anyway......home....we left for home on Monday. Big storms followed and gulped us up. But we made it home.

Along the way, somewhere near Mitchell SD, there were tons of little turtles on the side of the road. All I heard while driving was Ryan.....
"turtle"
"turtle"
"turtle"
"squished turtle"
"turtle"

Thus ends our trip to Black Hills South Dakota. And I did all the laundry too.
*sigh*

Oh and the story about our cabin staff? I was.... in the ladies room of the cabin. I heard a voice say.."housekeeping?" I politely said....just one moment. Then upon exiting said ladies room, I was promptly met by 4 Asian men. The "leader" of the cleaning crew smiled at me and asked...."Are you Chinese?" I said no. He said, "Are you sure?" I said....pretty sure. Weird.

We went here

Black Hills South Dakota. For a week. With my parents.

More to follow. And I do mean MORE. I'm just too damn tired now and the laundry really stinks. Two day car ride with two kids under 5. Not priceless. I can price it pretty god damn high.

Doesn't Miles look thrilled?

Love Game

"Let's have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick"

That's the chorus to Lady Gaga's song "Love Game"

Love it. But that's neither here nor there.

While I was making breakfast I landed on VH1. They actually have videos on in the morning. And Lady Gaga's video for this song was on.

Claire was glued to the tv. Now, I don't advise letting your almost 3 year old watch this video. But it happened. Call child protection. Whatev.

I asked her if she liked the song. I knew the answer, as she was bopping her little head up and down, she said, "Yeah!"

I asked her if she thought Lady Gaga was cool. She was very contemplative, scrunched up her face, and said, "well....well....Lady Gaga....SHE'S CRAZY!"

Ha ha ha ha....... I just don't need my kid telling people she wants to "take a ride on their disco stick."