EUREKA!!!!

I won't bore you with all the details of my holiday. I've been MIA. Suffice it to say, it was awesome! The kids had a blast. There were gifts galore, food galore and a nasty ass bout of kick-your-mother-fucking-ass food poisoning. Your's truly got that last gift from Santa. But it turned out to be a wonderful Christmas.

Moving on...Happy New Year! I'm getting ready to have a house full of people. It's gonna be food, drinks, music, games, kids, grownups acting like kids, and so on. Can't wait!

I did want to throw this out however. It's a pseudo resolution. (I hate New Year's resolutions, but what the hell.)

The other day a good friend of mine was over with her kids. We had a multi family playdate over here, and while the kids were basically trashing our house, us moms were enjoying conversation in the kitchen.

She informed me of something I had never thought of....NEVER IN MY LIFE! The three of us are stay at home moms. You know...we stay.at.home. with our kids. Well....our kids are getting older and whatnot, but that's another story.

She told me she doesn't feel like she NEEDS to keep her house clean everyday. If something doesn't get put away, it's no biggie. I said to her....."Seriously!?! You don't pick up the house and do all your household cleaning daily?" She said no.

Now this was a whole WTF moment for me. She clearly saw that I was stunned and said this to me. And trust me SAHM's when you read this, you'll be all...Shit! That's fucking brilliant!

She said, "I'm a STAY AT HOME MOM! Not a stay at home housekeeper. My job is to be a mom. Raise my kids. And if I have time, the other stuff can get done. But being a mom all day is my job. And when my husband comes home from HIS JOB, we clean stuff together."

Gone is the pressure to make sure my house is pretty clean and picked up when Ryan gets home. Not that he EVER put those rules on me (laughable really if he did) but I really just thought it was "part of the job". But no more friends. It's my "Good God Almighty Oprah AH HA" moment.

So......the house may be a mess in 2011, but my kids will be damn happy.

Happy New Year friends and family! I love you guys!

Whoops...a little late.

Merry Christmas!

4 years ago

I had to toss this one in...the other day was Claire's arrival date. December 12th 2006. We picked her up at the MSP airport with family and friends. Thanks Punky Brewster for being part of my life....I love you huge!

A&E Here they come!

Today I spent the bulk of the day with my youngest sister, my parents, and my completely disgusted daughter. My sister and I had decided to tackle the unimaginable. My parents pool table.

You must understand that my entire life I grew up with a pool table. And for that entire time of my life, I played pool on it, MAYBE 3 times. EVER.

But recently, my youngest sister, Cindi and I have been fearful of the impending doom that is my parents lean towards hoarding. Not hoarding in the A&E Hoarders. But getting closer than I would prefer.

We mostly spent the day laughing at all the ridiculous sear sucker my mom owned. That, and the multitude of sweatshirts and tee shirts that have holiday and seasonal appliques. I could so win the ugliest Holiday sweater contest if I snagged one of those bad boys. They were, in a word....Hideous. But my mother insists, she "had to do it because she was a teacher and the kids liked it." Bullshit. My mom is THAT old lady. Plain and simple. She still buys them and she hasn't taught in years.

My mom spent the day in a major panic. One thing is for sure. My mother is a shopaholic in the clinical sense. And seeing all her "stuff" get shoved into bags for Savers or Goodwill almost killed her. Most of the clothing was hers. And most of it was too small for her. I am assuming that's why it was all on the pool table. But holy shit woman!

Claire was just visibly stunned into submission from the large quantity of clothing towering over her. She said and I quote, "I'm so out of here. This.Place.Is.NUTS!" Yep. And she's four.

When Cindi and I started the, what I like to now deem as, THE EVENT, my dad who is over 6 feet tall was standing on one side of the pool table and I was on the other. I couldn't see him. Not shitting you.

The following photo is a re-enactment of what was. And I seriously, Shit.You.Not.



(Like I said THIS IS NOT my parents pool table, but it's damn near close.)
I actually found a sweatshirt I shared with my other sister Sara, back in High School. How long ago was that SJT? Let's just say the SWEATSHIRT had shoulderpads. *shiver*

When I posted something about doing this on Facebook, a couple of my friends and Cindi's friends said...
"Oh my WORD!! You have been cleaning that thing off for decades! Were any of my clothes there? Haha!" AND "oh my god- I know that table. I know why it took all day" AND "That's hilarious. I remember coming to your house and thinking "Wow, that is a shit-ton of clothes on that pool table". hahaha".

I told Ryan I was afraid of mice crawling out. Ryan said he would be afraid of midgets crawling out. But for now it's clean as a whistle. Too bad you can't play pool. There's too much other shit AROUND the table.

Winter Storm warning INDEED!

I should probably write about the Winter Storm that blew through Minnesota this past weekend. But to be honest I haven't had time. I've been digging us out for the past several days.



And this is nothing compared to the total it was the next day. All in all we got 22 inches of beautiful white snow.

I have stories, and whatnot to share, just no time. Snow makes everything move at a very alarming pace. One second it's as slow as Miles' digestive system, (more on that another time) and we have all the time in the world, and the next thing you know it's the end of the week. What the hell?

So I'll leave you with this for now. The snow plow went through again. And the snow BANKS that are on the sides of my driveway are at least 4 if not 5 feet tall. Happy Winter!!!

Oh yeah...and THIS happened here too.

The holidays

Well...we are in full swing for the holiday season. However, sadly, we are not in the full swing holiday mood. For numerous reasons, this season seems...flat.

I mean..we decorated the tree



And we are going to the Holidazzle Parade on Saturday. Before the parade, the kids and I will be baking holiday cookies with a dear friend. Christmas music is piping throughout the house like we're some kind of department store on Christmas steroids. Playdates have been made for the week off of school, and New Year's Eve plans are being set in motion.

But for some reason, there is very little Christmas cheer coursing through our veins. Please don't get me wrong. The kids are bat shit bonkers for the holidays, and we are putting on a good show for them. They know nothing is awry. Well I suppose I can only speak for myself really. I'M not very cheery. Things just aren't the same as they were. I'm bummed I won't see my sister for the 3rd year in a row. (She's in California and it's are-you-fucking-kidding-me-you-want-how-much-AND-my-first-born-for 2-tickets? Expensive)

And our plans, once again this year for Christmas have been.......altered. But we have no control over that. We just keep on going like we always do.

*SIGH*
(yeah that was a big sigh)

But I'm going to "soldier on". I'm happy that my health is almost a moot point. I'm relieved the kids are no longer sick with the stomach bug. Ryan is here and not traipsing around the country. And I have some of the most wonderful friends ever. So I guess I should shut the hell up and be thankful. And I am. I'm just having a pity party for now and it will stop.......now..no wait...NOW....no......yeah...ok.

I'll leave you with this. This time of year calls for this type of snuggling. Trust me.

Inappropriate humor at the expense of little kids

Well...I have to admit it....this is HIGHLY suspect. I am warning those of you who are friends of mine from the preschool....you may not particularly appreciate this. But I, my dear friends, laughed my damn ass off when I saw it. And so did a girlfriend of mine, who Claire was showing this book too.

The kids bring home something called a Blessing Book. It's a book that tells about each kid in the class. They color a picture and tell things about themselves. It's based on the "theme" that the year is following. This year's theme has something to do with cowboys and Jesus. (It's a Lutheran preschool.) What the two have in common? I have no fucking idea, but I love this preschool. LOVE IT!

Anyway....the book has this photo of a farm that the kids color. This is what I found. Also this photo was NOT Claire's. It was the page next to hers. HER silo was purple. It looked...painful.

It's all very questionable. I figured they didn't know what they were doing when they put this photo on the sheet for kids to color. That or I have the dirtiest mind ever. I'm going with both.

However this IS the school that had a basket with pot leaves in the playhouse.