Thursday, December 16, 2010

A&E Here they come!

Today I spent the bulk of the day with my youngest sister, my parents, and my completely disgusted daughter. My sister and I had decided to tackle the unimaginable. My parents pool table.

You must understand that my entire life I grew up with a pool table. And for that entire time of my life, I played pool on it, MAYBE 3 times. EVER.

But recently, my youngest sister, Cindi and I have been fearful of the impending doom that is my parents lean towards hoarding. Not hoarding in the A&E Hoarders. But getting closer than I would prefer.

We mostly spent the day laughing at all the ridiculous sear sucker my mom owned. That, and the multitude of sweatshirts and tee shirts that have holiday and seasonal appliques. I could so win the ugliest Holiday sweater contest if I snagged one of those bad boys. They were, in a word....Hideous. But my mother insists, she "had to do it because she was a teacher and the kids liked it." Bullshit. My mom is THAT old lady. Plain and simple. She still buys them and she hasn't taught in years.

My mom spent the day in a major panic. One thing is for sure. My mother is a shopaholic in the clinical sense. And seeing all her "stuff" get shoved into bags for Savers or Goodwill almost killed her. Most of the clothing was hers. And most of it was too small for her. I am assuming that's why it was all on the pool table. But holy shit woman!

Claire was just visibly stunned into submission from the large quantity of clothing towering over her. She said and I quote, "I'm so out of here. This.Place.Is.NUTS!" Yep. And she's four.

When Cindi and I started the, what I like to now deem as, THE EVENT, my dad who is over 6 feet tall was standing on one side of the pool table and I was on the other. I couldn't see him. Not shitting you.

The following photo is a re-enactment of what was. And I seriously, Shit.You.Not.



(Like I said THIS IS NOT my parents pool table, but it's damn near close.)
I actually found a sweatshirt I shared with my other sister Sara, back in High School. How long ago was that SJT? Let's just say the SWEATSHIRT had shoulderpads. *shiver*

When I posted something about doing this on Facebook, a couple of my friends and Cindi's friends said...
"Oh my WORD!! You have been cleaning that thing off for decades! Were any of my clothes there? Haha!" AND "oh my god- I know that table. I know why it took all day" AND "That's hilarious. I remember coming to your house and thinking "Wow, that is a shit-ton of clothes on that pool table". hahaha".

I told Ryan I was afraid of mice crawling out. Ryan said he would be afraid of midgets crawling out. But for now it's clean as a whistle. Too bad you can't play pool. There's too much other shit AROUND the table.

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