Success!!!!!! Strap in for the longest blog post of all time

Well. We made it there and back. Alive. No casualties. Unless you count the little red squirrels, who I am sure died from eating/stealing all of our snacks.

There was very very VERY minimal complaining. I think Miles said he was bored once in the canoe. And that was because Ryan and I kept talking about some kind of weird plant. Which I found out later was a Pitcher plant. AND it's carnivorous. So...once we told him the plant ate bugs and stuff...the bitching ceased.

There were several stops along the way. Duluth's pier to skip rocks. Two Harbor's lighthouse to walk onto the lake. Etc.

This is out on the walkway. Our friends the Stewart's joined us for the trip.

Once we set up and got our dinner out of the way, the fire was going, and then....boom...thunder. And then rain. Not downpour rain like folks in the cities got, but rain. And camping+rain+kids=meh...

We all went to bed. And then the rain really kinda kicked in. The first morning, Claire and I woke up at 4:00. Don't know how that happened, but it did. Not that I'm completely sure about that time because as anyone who camps can tell you, camp time is different than real world time.

Either way....no one else was up and Claire didn't want to go to the "outhouse" alone. (Geez wonder why? Couldn't have been her father's verbalization of his MAJOR fear of falling into the hole. Thus being covered head to toe in shit, and not being able to get out. The girl hung onto me for dear life each time. Thanks honey.) So we meandered down to the lake and looked for the loon calling out. It was a beautiful morning. And Claire loved the quiet time with me.



*Creepy side note...on the way back to camp, we passed some dude at a vacant site. He had a car and a huge duffle bag. No tent. I asked him what time it was and when he looked up, I wanted to run, but that would have left Claire to fend for herself, and that made me a bad mom. But the dude was creepy-kill-you-in-the-woods-and-bury-you-in-the-Boundary-Waters kinda dude. Oh it was 5am by then.*

Thus began the day of rain rain rain. It rained steadily all day long. We were wet. Soaked all the way through. But you know, once you're wet, you're wet and then who cares. Until you try to go to sleep and warm up. Now that's a bitch.

We took the kids on a "nature hike". There was not much else to do. We hiked all over the place. We hiked until we couldn't follow any trails anymore. Which was nice. The kids just played together the entire time. There were a lot of stupid songs made up.....example..."cha cha cha cha cha CHA! We are big fat people!" I didn't care for this one by the way. Also there was some kind of Gummy Bear song. I don't remember the words, but there was something about a gummy bear coming to kill you with a knife. All courtesy of the Stewart kids. Cause you know I don't teach my kids that shit. We're more of a bodily function song type of family. All class...all the way.

Well the day progressed with Glenn singing the Black Eyed Peas, and Ryan trying to eliminate the song from his head by telling everyone they had the "Final Countdown" in their head...and as soon as that happend.....we all busted out with ...do do do dooooo doodle do do doooooooo. Annoying. But constant non-stop rain can do that to a person.

I'm not kidding check it out.

In the evening the rain stopped and the sky cleared. And it was glorious! By the following morning, we did pancakes and the youngest Stewart was pacing back and forth yelling, "CLAIRE!!!! CLAIRE!!!!! ROCK!!!!" He's 2. And Claire was the last to wake up. Lorien was the only one who could get her out of bed by promising to make her Minnie Mouse pancakes.

We finally got to canoe. The kids were really excited about it. Glenn and Lor brought their own, we rented. We spent several hours on the water and then their youngest and Claire fell asleep. And the winds picked up. Makes for difficult canoeing when you're paddling against the wind with many kids in a canoe. But they loved it. Claire sat in front with me and told me, "she never wanted to stop." Miles on the other hand was itching to get back to his friends in the other canoe.


Just after portaging and the kids are waiting for Ryan to get in.

The Stewart family!

We ate lunch on a little island and the guys stayed in the canoes. There was no place to dock them. So we counted on them to hold the canoes in place. Aren't we nice?



We did pretty well canoeing wise. The kids seemed to be much happier when they were ALL in Ryan's and my canoe. I mean...I imagine we were sitting pretty low in the water.

That night was nice. The kids did a lot of playing together...and the adults, well, we tried to get ready to go. The kids were obsessed with the lightsabers and the bakugan games. Claire and E were reading the princess magazines too. And the littlest Stewart was over the top with the cleaning of the big rock at our site. He wiped the bird poop off the rock multiple times.




There was also an attempt at swimming, but once Ryan and Glenn got off the rocks and sunk shin deep in muck....the skirts came out and they were all, "Oh my God! Ugh...this is gross. Everyone out!"

We then showered after making dinner. Cause 3 days of bug spray and sunblock made for a very greasy looking SJT. It was NASTY. Upon arriving at the showers we ran into tons and tons of Chinese teens. I swear I was transported to Disneyworld with how many Asians were there. Who knew the hot spot for Asians with cameras was Disney and the BWCA.

On Sunday it was time to go. Ryan and I packed up super fast because we noticed the clouds were rolling in. And sure as shit...it started to rain as our friends were starting to pack up. Thankfully Ryan and I were done, so we were able to help our friends.

On the road again headed home. Everyone stunk and was tired. But we had 2 way radios and there was monkeybusiness to be had. Apparently we weren't the only ones with them. And we ended up offending some dudes with boats. Really. Lor and my conversation "upset" them. Seriously. And apparently they didn't care for 5 year olds asking each other, "What are you doing?" over and over again.

I have to say..the trip was amazing. Claire cried that we left. She didn't want to go. She's going to be our outdoorsy kid. Miles cried because he was lonely for his friends.

Two tips when travelling to the BWCA...when it rains there are few bugs and ticks! Win!!! And on the way home, it is imperative you stop to have lunch/dinner at Pizza Luce in Duluth. That or Hell's Burgers. Both delish.

Oh shit.

We are leaving for our first "official" camping trip of the year tomorrow. Ryan and I were super ambitious this year. We decided to take the kids to the Boundary Waters. Or BWCA for you Minnesotans.

I can't believe how much you have to pack when camping with kids. Especially kids with allergies. Ugh....hopefully we won't need any of the "stuff" I'm packing.

I know the kids are excited though. Miles and Claire were still up at 9:30. Laying in bed, tossing and turning, complaining they can't sleep. I love that. It's total excitement. Wait until they realize how much work they have to do paddling that canoe.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.....oh wait. I bet they bitch and moan at least once in the canoe. And almost tip us over at least twice. On the bright side of things, the weather report says it supposed to be rainy with thunderstorms every night that we're there. Ah summer in MN.

We really are looking forward to it. I think it's just what we need to get away from all the monkey business going on in our lives. Just hoping we don't get eaten alive by ticks, mosquitoes, and bears.

Cause knowing me...I'm gonna run into one.

Wish us luck. Photos and a report to follow!!!!

Too far.

A while ago I dropped something on my foot. And I yelled out..."SHIT!"

To which Miles came running into the room and asked, "Are you ok mom?
I know...really sweet right?

Claire didn't react the same. She took advantage of the situation. These are her words of comfort:

"Mom you shouldn't say shit."
"Shit's a bad word."
"You know I would be in trouble if I said shit."
"I'm going to tell daddy you said the bad word shit."
"Is shit the naughtiest word ever?"
"When I grow up, I'm not going to say shit."

Maybe I need to work on my swearing, but it sure seems like my 3 and a half year old needs swear rehab.

Happy Father's Day Teepants style!

Father's day at the Teepants household is a lot different than mother's day. Here are some of the differences:

1: I like to lay about all day and have Ryan take all control of the kids and the house. Today, Ryan's agenda involves, running, mowing the grass, and helping me get ready to host a family party.

2: Ryan and the kids make me breakfast in bed, complete with waking me up with a tray of food and lovely mother's day gifts.
I have to wait to make breakfast until Ryan's done running. And he has to wait for his father's day gifts because I didn't have the chance to run out and get him a card yet. (I know...he's totally winning this one)

3: I really do whatever I feel like doing on mother's day. Ryan does what he wants, and a little of what I need today. Poor guy.

But Ryan knows we love him like crazy. Miles and Claire can't get enough of him.

Although we did have a long discussion with Miles the other morning. He was determined to tell Ryan and myself he wanted a "new" dad. And he was serious about it. I kept saying, "are you serious? You want to get a new dad?" And he was not kidding. He kept with it, that yes....he wanted a new dad.

Ryan, understandably, was starting to feel a little bad about this revelation. After further discussion, we realized, NO, Miles didn't want a NEW dad. He wanted his dad to be the same. But he wished his dad was Korean like the rest of us.

Hence, the "new" dad. Ha ha ....I don't know why, but Miles has ALWAYS been concerned about Ryan not being Korean. And to Miles, he wants to share everything with his dad.

So Happy Father's Day to my non-Korean husband. You are the best. And Happy Father's Day to my dad, my father-in-law, and my friends who are great dad's.



Not that this cartoon has anything to do with anything. But it's Star Wars and it's funny.

Breakfast DOES inspire.

This morning at breakfast, Miles told me he was going to be a chef. Now, he's been telling us for weeks he's going to be a Ninja because he's Korean. AND he's been practicing his Ninja skills for just as long. Ask Ryan's throat.

But......upon receiving his favorite breakfast, (hash browns, eggs, and sausage) he declared it. He wants all my recipes, although he was kind enough to ask if I would need them when I got old, "in case I forget them." Smart ass.

And his restaurant will be called MILES' PLACE. I think he can call it "Nudie Foodie." Especially if this photo is ANY indication of his cooking prowess. Ugh.



He also informed me he would allow me, Ryan and Claire to eat for free. But not our friends, unless he already was friends with them. So....folks, you'd better start kissing some almost six year old ass if you want free food in 20 years.

On the other end of the breakfast table, Claire told me, "I'm gonna be a bat."

It's been a shit day already.

It's only 11:44 am in the morning. But let me tell you. The day has sucked already.

Incident 1: Ryan left for St. Louis today at 4:30 am. Which pretty much woke me up too. Oh well.

Incident 2: While I was in the bathroom this morning, Claire woke up, stood in front of the closed bathroom door, say very quietly, "mom?" and then proceded to pee on the carpet. What The Fuck? So I dragged her into the bathroom and put her in the shower. Showered her off, cleaned the carpet, washed the bathroom rug, her clothes and bathrobe.

I asked her why she didn't go to the OTHER bathroom, and she said she was scared to go downstairs. ARGH!!!! That was the answer. I didn't get mad, cause accidents happen. But I told her it shouldn't happen again. Please Lord...It SHOULDN'T happen again.

Incident 3: Once I got off the phone with my friend, after planning a play date for later today, and after bitching to her about how my almost 4 year old peed on the carpet, I looked at Miles and noticed he was red behind his ear. Upon closer inspection, his whole head, neck, shoulders, torso, and on down to the tops of his toes were covered in hives. Again. What The Fuck? Then when I looked at his face (of course that was last) I saw his eyelids and lips were swelling. DAMNIT!

So I went for the Benadryl. But if you have little kids, you know all Benadryl, Zyrtec, and most all children's medication was recalled a month or so ago. So I called the pediatrician to see what I could substitue. Apparently nothing. They called back a hour later and said...Benadryl. Try find that shit now days. Not easy.

In the process I deduced he was having an allergic reaction to a friend's kid who was here yesterday. They have A cat. Not multiple. Just one. But that little shit of a cat was enough to trail it's allergen onto their clothes all the way over here. Said kid was laying on Miles' floor playing Bakugan with him yesterday. We usually don't allow kids with cats in Miles' room because he's soooo allergic to them, but whatever. The kid looked clean. Apparently not. Miles was laying in the same damn spot playing Battleship with Claire this morning. And there you have it!

Have you seen the movie Silkwood? Remember the de contamination scene? Well that's what I went through cleaning Miles' room. And after speaking with Miles I learned they were in the fort too. Great. It's small. And I had to lug the vacuum cleaner up into it. GRRRRRRRrrrr......I'm dewey from that business.

And now load two of laundry is in the wash. It's only 11:45. I had to cancel the playdate. Only because I didn't want my kid to slip into anaphylactic shock at Noodles and Co. Embarrassing!

It has to get better. It is going to storm today. We all love a good thunderstorm. However, with how the day is going......we'll end up huddled in the basement because a tornado is coming to visit. Maybe we'll end up in Munchkin land. That could be ok. At least we'd be going somewhere.

Miles is OFFICIALLY a first grader

Holy shit do I feel old. Not only did Miles' Kindergarten teacher say to me, "there's no way you're as old as me." But, I found out in fact, yes, I was OLDER than her. Ugh.

Either way. Miles finished his last day of Kindergarten last week. He didn't know what to make of it. He just said that the hug part was hard. Not hard emotionally, but that his teacher hugged the kids really hard. It was funny.

Then while Ryan, Claire and I were standing waiting to get him in front of the flagpole, one of his classmates dad's said, "Erica tells everyone that Miles is her boyfriend." ZOINKS!!!! And THEN Miles told me, "I think that Lily is really my girlfriend because she hugged me in the library for no reason. She must love me or something." Poor Erica.

Oh my damn! Really? He's not even 6 yet. I asked his teacher if it really started this young. And she laughed at me like I was the dumbest mom alive. I guess that laugh meant....duh-dummy-good-luck-raising-these-kids-you'll-need-it.

I think my kid is the cutest thing on the planet. Don't we all? But let's be realistic. He's easily the smallest kid in his class. He's a little pokey with everything. He loves Star Wars, science and thinks he's gonna be a ninja cause he's Korean. Not your typical dreamboat. But according to his teacher, many girls love my little guy. This will go down as my favorite age for "liking" someone. They like him cause he's the nicest kid. Not the most athletic. Not the best looking. Not the coolest. But because he's the nicest. Lord help me when THAT wears off.

But..he's done with school for the summer. He's had 2 playdates already and more to go. My guy is in heaven. He loves having NO schedule whatsoever. I do too.

On one of his very last days of class they celebrated his birthday. Only because his birthday is in August. Ryan and I went to watch and man oh man did he love it.



He doesn't embarrass easily, but they sing..."Happy Birthday to you...CHA CHA CHA!!!" And it cracked me the hell up. When he saw me laugh, his little mouth twisted into a knot, and he cheeks flushed crimson. Oh brother. I'm already embarrassing him.

Girls love him. And I embarrass him. I guess he's 5 and a half going on 15. It's ok. His sister is already practicing her teen years. Why wouldn't he.?

Claire graduated!!! Kinda.

Last week Claire had her preschool graduation. She's 3 1/2 going on 13 at this point. But that's not important.
What is a huge milestone for our family, is she will be moving UP next year. She's going to be in the Kinderstart program for her preschool. Which never happened with Miles. She's so excited!

Claire is one of those kids who doesn't like the spotlight unless she's the one telling you to look. So all these events the school puts on are, in her opinion, for the birds. She's the one who stands in the front, (cause she's short) and picks her nose, lifts her dress, turns around, stares into space and all around just doesn't care to be there.

Oh did I mention when she's nervous she's developed this AWESOME habit of picking her fingers bloody. Yep! Most likely another one of Diego's helpful hints. Rat bastard.

She of course held on for dear life to her little Chinese friend throughout the entire presentation. But thankfully, both girls were equally shocked into what-the-fuck-is-happening-right-now-I-hate-it-get-me-out-of-this-damn-place-pronto panic mode.



And the little blonde boy next to her Chinese friend was ALL ABOUT singing loudly and making large, VERY LARGE arm motions. When he WASN'T picking at his fingers. It was all awesome!



On the upside, Ryan didn't have to travel that day and so he was able to attend the graduation with Miles. Miles brought his little "girlfriend". She's adorable!



Tomorrow is Miles' last day of Kindergarten. I feel like someone should poke me with a stick just to make sure I'm really at this point in my life.........he's going to be a first grader. A FIRST GRADER!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!

Miles and Ax-Man

Miles is in LOVE with this science kit. Ryan got it at the Thrift Store last year, and Miles has finally shown major interest.

He will spend hours looking at random crap on glass slides. He loves this microscope. He loves looking at hair, dirt, blood, dead bugs, and spit.

The other day he was gently putting the kit back into it's case, and all the glass slides broke. Shit. The waterworks kicked in and we had to think about what to do. And quick.

So yesterday after school, we all drove to the "hood" and hit up Ax Man Surplus Store. Talk about heaven!

My kids didn't know what to do with themselves. If you've never been to Ax-Man...it's the best place for anything random and shitty. It smells like any old hipster walking around Uptown, sweat, rubber, and motor oil. There is any kind of science anything, car parts, computer parts, lightbulbs, rubber chickens, military surplus, manequins dressed in goggles and fur coats, and very random, very witty ad campaigns.

It is truly one of the coolest places to go if you have kids who are interested in anything other than sports. And even those kids would probably think it's pretty cool.

We were able to pick up more glass slides for the microscope, Star Wars glow in the dark wall stickers, a flashy magic wand, marbles, a sterling silver compact, and a carpet remnant for our tent. We passed on the beakers. Although I wanted one.

And now, Miles is back to looking at "stuff/crap" under the microscope. And Claire is loving her blinky magic wand.

Just a few more photos of Ax Man so you know what it is I'm talking about......my descriptions just can't do it justice.

Bra wings!

I usually would not be gung ho to post a photo of my undergarments, but I assume most, not all, of you who read this are women. So....here goes.

This morning Claire came out of my room with my bra on. Then she proceeded to jump of the sofa, fall on the floor and announce, "My bra wings don't work!"

She has tried several times to fly from the sofa or another high location. I have no idea where she gets this stuff. I imagine Diego told her to do it. As long as she stays in the house and doesn't try it off the deck, I'm fine with it.

Not sure why she has the stuffed tiger in the bra either. She's a weird kid. When she does this stuff, I tell Ryan she's HIS DAUGHTER.



The girl really wants to fly. With wings and stuff. At least she's color coordinated.

Ummm.....

Not much to say today.....but I found this.





Asians are silly. Oh, and upon closer inspection...so are Minnesotans.