MN State Fair Extravaganza!

Well....not so much an extravaganza, but, fun nonetheless.

Ahhh.....The MN State Fair. Deep-fried-people-watching-crowd-managing-animal-poop-smelling-fun-on-a-stick.

I love the fair. My kids love the fair. At breakfast today, we were discussing all the things we wanted to do, see and eat. Miles HAD to do the Little Farm Hands. And Claire insisted from morning and pretty much for most of the fair that she would "please like some cotton candy, dad PLEASE???" Cause she knows it's not my favorite and that it's something Ryan WILL eat.

And there we went.

First off. It's 96 degrees with a dew point of 70 today. So, yeah...it's a hot one. But there's a delightful breeze.

Second, we were able to make our annual pilgrimage with our friends, the Paulsrud's, yet AGAIN this year. We always have fun with them. And Ryan was able to tag along today too. Super bonus.

We started at about 9:30am. I know I know...that's not very early. But it's early enough for me. And this year was the FIRST year I attempted the fair without a stroller. For those of you who have been here. You know. It can be a daunting task to manage the fair with two kids under a certain age. Especially without a stroller. But I figured..the stroller gets in the way, my kids are 4 and 6, and they can walk. (Lazy bums).

It was awesome. The kids were able to do the Little Farm Hands without a huge crowd. We headed to the Eco building, and the kids insisted we recycle more than we already do. (How that's going to happen I have no idea.) And then off to the Kidway for some "Carnie-tastic" rides.

Miles is NOT adventurous at all. He did the fun house, and some ropes course for kids. Claire on the other hand wanted to try this ride called the Lady bugs. It goes around and around super fast and then backwards super fast. I certainly wasn't going to take one for the team, with my dizzy crap, and made Ryan go with her. I know..mean...but he loves rides. I do not.

Claire was hilarious. She started yelling her fool head off, cause they say, "If you want to go really fast, scream!!!" And of course she did. Man did that girl laugh her ass off. It was hysterical. Then they slowed down to go backwards. New face. Not laughing her ass off.....more....trying to be cool and not puke kinda face.


Then food. French fries, Cheese Curds, and Root Beer. Thaaaat's about it. Deep fried goodness that Ryan KNOWS isn't fried in Partially Hydrogenated Oils. How do we know that? Don't ask. And yes, those are the only places we go. But hey...it's all good.

We saw the Agriculture Building, The Arts and Crafts Building, and the Healtheast building. The kids found some Webkinz booth that allowed them to purchase one for 5 dollars. 5 DOLLARS! That's like major jackpot if your kids like Webkinz...and mine do.

The heat just about killed us. But the shade was nice. We also tried to duck into the Dairy Building in hopes of cooling off. Clearly not going to happen. The kids did want to sit in the egg chair. Miles remembered seeing a friend of mine's photo from last year of her in the egg chair. I can't believe his memory sometimes.

Look at my poor sweaty babies. Ah well...the Miracle of Birth building was GOD AWFUL HOT AS HELL. I said to Ryan..."It's 2:30. Let's get the hell out of here." Besides...the calf wasn't ACTUALLY being born. They were doing a "vaginal exam" *shudder* Claire just laughed that they said vagina. She turned to me, scrunched up her nose, and said..."Vaginal means vagina right mom?" And again with the turning around to say, "Why is there poop in that cow's vagina."

Oh Jesus help me. I wanted to make her stop, but I couldn't. And you know if there's a birth on the horizon in that place, there's a fucking crowd.

We left.

Final shot of the day. The kids sharing an ICEE. That thing was delish in the heat. The red teeth proved it when they were done.


And that's it. School can start now. We have had our day at the Fair.

First grade will be.....Interesting to say the least

Today Miles went to his first grade assessment. This is what I heard:

Teacher: Can you spell the word AND?

Miles: No. I can't remember that. Sometimes I forget things, I have a bad memory.

And on and on like that. I was sitting outside of the classroom thank God! If he had seen my face...the face that said, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" he would have "remembered" how to spell AND. You can put good money on that too.

Here's what I know about Miles. He's lazy. Lazy when it comes to reading and writing. He can do math like some kind of crazy savant. He also has a photographic memory with about 99% of things....things HE'S interested in. The other 1% is stuff that requires thinking and learning about things non-Star Wars related and so on, if you get my drift.

How frustrating is THAT?!? I mean....we just were reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone together. He was reading it with me. Ugh! That kid.

I can tell you what. When we got to the parking lot I said, "Miles. How do you spell AND?" He said, "A-N-D." That's an easy one mom.

There are currently clumps of my hair in the elementary school parking lot.

Dear Lord....please send help.

Claire has become the SASSIEST 4 year old on the planet. I know it. There isn't a 4 year old girl sassier.Anywhere.Ever. Her eye rolls, foot stomping, and door slamming have shown us that things are going to be OUT OF THIS WORLD tough as hell when she's a tween/teen. (PS...what the hell is a tween? And why didn't they have that when I was supposedly one?)

Ryan has all but reserved himself to leave with Miles for those extra special days of the month when Claire and I have our "lady time". And you know, because Ryan is just that lucky...it's gonna sync up. I feel for him. I really do. He'll come home to the two of us practically killing each other, hear it from the front walk, and just tell Miles to, "run for your life son!"

Anyway. I digress.

So.....yesterday Claire was in BIG trouble. She came to me and asked for a piece of candy. I said, "sure!" Then I heard Ryan ask, "Claire! Did you just ask your mom for the candy I just told you, you COULDN'T have?!" Claire said, "Yes, but I didn't eat it, so it's ok!"

Nice. She got a big fat time out for that one. Then when her time out was over, Ryan told her she could be done. To which she did this.

Yelled NO! Then kicked her feet all over the chair, and put a humongous gift bag over her entire body. She then proceeded to sit there for at least 15-20 minutes pouting.

Note the foot at the bottom.

When Ryan would say, "Sweetie, you can get out of time out." She would punch the sides of the bag and whine. It was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing. It was mean of me for sure. But I couldn't help it. You know like when your kid swears and looks at you all nervous. When it's not in public, I'm kinda hard pressed not to burst out, and have to really work hard to stifle the giggles. Especially when it's someone else's kid. But my Claire would NEVER do that. *eyeroll*

Although this is not as funny as when she said, "OH FUCK!" in front of company, for losing a Mario guy on her DS. But that's another story, which frankly I'm none too proud to tell. I have NO idea where she would have heard that type of language. La la la la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Eventually she emerged from the gift bag to torture her brother by doing God knows what. I just ignore it. Because they need to resolve that shit on their own.

In other fun news, Miles told me this morning at breakfast, that his invisible, 12 year old, Korean brother, thinks I'm mean. I guess I now know what Miles thinks of me WAY deep down. I knew I didn't like pre-teens.

12 years of holding my breath...and there it goes.

I'm good. All kinds of good.

I met with my Hepatology doctor today at the Mayo Clinic. He's the liver specialist. I also met with surgeon A and surgeon B.

Surgeon A was a liver surgeon. Just your general run of the mill surgeon, who did stuff with the liver and worked under surgeon B.
Surgeon B. He's a whole other story.

I will start by telling you, he should have had trumpets and a red carpet rolled out for him when he entered the room. He's THAT surgeon. "Superstar surgeon extraordinaire". I can't tell you how many times the OTHER doctors told me how surgeon B was "world renowned". That's some serious shit right there.

WORLD RENOWNED! And no joke. Apparently he's THE best in THE world when it comes to liver carcinomas. Whew! I'm glad I didn't get just the run of the mill US renowned surgeon. They're not messing around with me. And wait...back up...what the hell? Liver C-A-R-C-I-N-O-M-A? Who the fuck said anything about cancer now?

Ok....back to the story. So surgeon A comes in. Young. Spry. Serious as shit. And checks over my stuff, looks at the letter about how things are "connected" or "communicating" and says with a grim face, "With the size of the cyst in your liver we'll have to remove the entire right lobe of your liver. It's developed around a major artery." Then on and on about bleeding, bile leakage, drains in for a long time, painful long recovery time....blah blah blah...who the hell heard anything past "entire right lobe of your liver"? I certainly didn't.

Then he left the room to show surgeon B. Fancy-pants-I-love-you-cause-you're-THAT-awesome, surgeon B. Annnnd I proceed to lose my shit completely. I cry. I try to joke about stuff so that I don't LOOK like I'd been crying when the surgeons come back. I say things like..."I'm not worried about the dying part. I'm worried about how much it's gonna hurt when I wake up! And you know that's gonna hurt. But I'm not going to say I feel like I got hit by a truck. Everyone says that, and I'm pretty sure they hadn't been hit by any fucking truck. I'm just gonna say....you know...I feel like SHIT!" Cause for some reason that was funny to me. And Ryan too, cause he laughed his holy-shit-I'm-gonna-lose-it-too laugh.. Poor sweetie.

Then in the door walks surgeon A, surgeon B *toot toot*, transplantation surgeon C (WHAT THE FUCK?!?) and random blonde who writes down EVERYTHING surgeon B says.

Talk about entourage. I said, "Oh! Don't be embarrassed if I start crying. Cause it's gonna happen."

Surgeon B sits down and says to me, "Why would you cry? I'm only going to be here for a second." Weird.

So surgeon B starts in on all this technical jargon. How it's not communicating with the right part of my whatnot to my whozit, and that they aren't going to do surgery and that my chance of getting bile duct cancer is almost nil. Literally 5 minutes after surgeon A told me I was gonna get bile duct cancer bad and fast unless they remove the right side of my liver.

Color me confused. But I stopped listening temporarily after I heard No surgery. No cancer. WOO fucking HOO!!!!! I almost jumped the man. Although I'm pretty sure the blonde was packing the heat.

There was some more mumbo jumbo between doctors. Some discrepancies. Most likely some arguing. But in the end the "world renowned" surgeon B said NOPE, not going to cut this one open anytime soon. To which I said I was very happy to oblige him and not darken his door step in the near.

So off I go. And after 12 years of not knowing what would happen. I have answers. I'm not going to die by the time I'm 40. I'm probably not going to get bile duct cancer. I won't need a huge painful inconvenient surgery. And now I can breath free. All I have to do is go in yearly and have and MRCP and a Heita Scan....which is being injected with some kind of radioactive liquid and then photographing it for hours. Both of them painless. Just takes a lot of time.

I'm sooooo not complaining. So now. I can move on. And not be worried about the "what ifs". I know there aren't any.

Today was a VERY good day.

I have been dreading today for weeks. I went to the Mayo Clinic again. I was scheduled to have an ERCP today. It sucks. I had one done many years ago and developed Pancreatitis from it. No fun. Talk about being sick as a mother fucker. Gahhhh.....I've not been that sick since EVER.

Anyway. Ryan and I left at the crack of dawn to get there in time. I did my blood draw, and then had 2 hours to kill before the "Biggie". But because I was fasting for the procedure, we couldn't even stop to get a coffee or anything. We just walked around. Then headed up at 11 for check in.

Here is the worst part about the whole thing. 1: I had to fast. And my procedure wasn't until after 11. Can we say hungry? 2: The waiting room was at least 60 degrees, if not cooler. No eating and cold? Yuck. 3: Then found out at 11:30 they were behind and I would most likely have to wait until after 2PM. Holy-fucking-shit! I was so hungry, I think I told a friend in an email that if she was next to me, I may just gnaw off her arm.

So they get me in. And of course can't find a good vein for the IV. Apparently this Korean has teeny tiny veins. So 4 sticks later, they got the stupid thing in. (I have a major aversion to my veins breaking because of the IV. Who doesn't?)

Then the doctor came in. Got my history, said, "Excuse me, I'll be right back" , and left. I thought he either A: was disturbed with my history, B: had the schmotz, or C: my history disturbed him so much he got the schmotz. Either way, he was gone. And I was left to watch my IV bleed all over the blanket.

When he came back he told me all the major risks of the ERCP. And apparently they're not good. And because I had the Pancreatitis before, I was at major risk of getting it again. NO THANKS on that special treat. So after much discussion with my physician, and re-looking at scans and tests and whatnot, it was decided I didn't need to go through with the procedure.

THANK THE LORD! I swear if I hadn't been connected to an IV I would have jumped on the man and laid a big wet lickery kiss on him.

Ryan was shocked that I was out and walking and talking to him when I went to the waiting room. The last time I had tests done I was a drooling, blathering, fool. I think I asked the doctor who performed the surgery if I "had gas" during the surgery. Ugh...gun, bullets? Yes please. And of course Ryan told me later about it. My humility had been set at an all time low. Ugh.

I told him what happened today and he was all indignant about it. How if I had travelled from far and wide, what a shit deal it would have been. I don't care. I wasn't poked and prodded and then sent out to barf all over the Mayo Clinic. I was a happy lady. I called my mom to tell her and the kids we'd be back soon and that I was "AWE-SSSSOMMMMEEEE!!!" And yes it was sing song. Then we got a Jimmy John's sub and I think I scarfed that fucker down in about 2 seconds. Note to self...when fasting for almost 24 hours....do not, I repeat DO NOT eat a whole sub and chips in 2.43 seconds. It.Is.Not.Good.

Tomorrow I meet with my doctor and surgeon. Surgeon to discuss a liver resection. IE: removing 3/4 of my liver just for shit's and giggles. Apparently we will discuss the risks. We're not even going to talk about do it, not do it. Just....here's what you should worry about. Yep. Fun.

At least I got to spend a wonderful evening with my family and neighbors. The kids and the neighbor girl always play at night and we shoot the shit with her parents. It was nice indeed. We discussed the new and upcoming 3D porn that will be in IMAX. Should be really......big.

Wild God Damn Kingdom over here.

As I contemplate going to bed, I am disturbed beyond belief, that at 10:48pm, there is a crow cah cawing his damn ass off in my front yard.

Top that off with the fucking barking dog that some dipshit leaves out all night, and you know it's a little tiny fucker too. Aaaaand I'm up. Annoyed and frustrated and well...annoyed.

These noises that I hear are not the pleasant sounds of the 'burbs. I should hear crickets along with the highway. Not a bird trying to "get some" in the middle of the night, along with a dog that apparently doesn't have an off switch to it's high pitched incessant bark.

UGH!!!!!

And I thought Ryan's snoring was my biggest sleeping pet peeve of all time. Not so much.

I need to sleep. I have way tons of stuff weighing on my mind tonight. My body needs rest. I feel all kinds of broke down and bad. I'm stressed out. I'm having a pity party and NO one showed up. Stupid feeling sorry for myself. I hate it. But it happens.

Eh...tomorrow is another day. Just wish my friend Kelly lived close to here. He'd take care of some shit. (PS don't link to this if you don't like seeing dead animals.)

Stupid fucking bird and dog. GAAAHHHHHHHH!

A little non kid related for today

I'm upset. I was a follower of a very entertaining blog for almost 2 years. And I have been wondering why oh why my dear friend has not been posting. Well not really a friend. I don't even know her at all. She lives in a whole other country. But you know....

Anyway.....I use Google Reader. So it is rare that I actually GO to a blog anymore, unless I make a comment. (Cause I can't help my damn self once in a while.) But today I was cleaning up my "following page" and clicked on said blog.

Gone.

"Invitation only" please. What the hell? Rude Tuna!

Ok, so I get it. She had like 400 zillion followers. And I'm one of those zillion. But seriously. It's not like I was offended by her business. And let me tell you.....she put that shit ALL the way out there. So why all the covert operations now? Ugh.

I suppose I could send her an email and request an invitation. That would be a lot of work for me though. Heh heh heh...can we say lazy? All together now.....

Oh well. I tried to go all private-only-ask-me-you-nosey-fucks ..but it was such a hassle, and really what is a blog for? My friends in the real world know all this stuff anyway. And isn't it just a tiny bit fun to read about someone you dont' know at all? I just reverted back to what I have. Open to whoever. And hopefully not every whoever has found it.

Now I'll never know if she named ALL of the pigeons that lived by her window. Sad really. It was a damn good laugh.

KCC Saturday Program

The Korean Camp that Miles attended always has a big saturday program.

The kids perform their dances, songs and Tae Kwon Do. It's cute. VERY long. And if you don't have a kid or grandkid in the program, it's just downright mean for someone to ask you to go. After the program there is a Korean lunch. It's delicious. All our favorites. Korean BBQ. mmmmm........

Well. Like I said, the program itself lasts 2 hours. Two you're-lucky-my-kid-is-in-this-program-or-I'd-snap hours. This is why.....

Yeah. That's almost 300 Korean kids. Not shitting you. And their "teen helpers".

Every grade level does songs and dances.



The B&W is of Miles singing. It was so hard to get close up, and we don't have a zoom lens yet. So go with it. It's the best you're gonna get today.

Then they have the BIG finale...the Tae Kwon Do demo. Oh my GAWD!!!! How annoying was that you ask? Super.Annoying.Beyond.Belief. Sincerely. Oh for crap's sake.

It started off with these "too cool for school" korean young adults blasting that song, that according to Ryan, "Every marital arts demo starts with." It's like chest thumping techno music. I loathed it. But it got them all hyper and sweaty. And eventually woke the kids up after sitting for almost 2 hours on high school bleachers. I personally would have preferred this song...but beggars can't be choosers.

Miles broke his first board. With a kick no less. He was very proud of it too. I don't have a photo of that because one of the "helpers" stood in front of him. Oh well....next year...note to self.....get zoom lens.


All in all.....a great week at camp. Miles was very sad after the program. Most of his friends had left and he laid in my lap eating his Korean popsicle. Laid. Poor baby. He looked like someone took his favorite Star Wars character and murdered him right in front of his face. The boy was crushed. He loved camp. Thankfully it's a summer camp and he can go again next year.

Claire? Not so interested.


In other news...I did learn some very interesting things about my friend Deb. Like digging on Korean men interesting. You naughty girl.

Birthday loot

We let the kids open their birthday gifts together early. They got lots of fun things. It's hard having 2 kids with birthdays 2 days apart. We just let them both go crazy. And with camp this week...it's been a busy busy week.

Claire has been fascinated with this cartoon called Ni-Hao-Kai-Lan. It's basically the Chinese equivalent to Dora The Explorer. She now has their playsets. All of them. She also still loves all things Disney Princess. Ugh. I can't wait for this phase to be done and over with. I can only handle so much "Tra-la-la-la-LAAAAAA-ing" before I go bonkers postal. Or as my friend likes to say, "bat shit crazy".


Miles on the other hand...still got Star Wars. This kid will never, I repeat NEVER grow out of Star Wars. And I have to admit, I'm coming around to it. Kind of. Well not really, I'm just giving into the obsession. He has however decided he likes these things called Bakugan. I don't know. I'm not a fan, but he and his friends love them. So I guess he's kinda on that bandwagon. They too, will eventually fall by the wayside. And when that happens, all his Star Wars collectables will be there with open arms. And his 5 gagillion light sabers and Star Wars tee shirts. Although, my good friend Anne suggested I make a quilt out of the tee shirts when they get to small. It's a great idea. Now if only I knew how to sew. Hmmmmmm.....Oh wait..my good friend Anne does. Nice suggestion friend. Get to work! That quilt won't make itself. Hee hee.

And throw in a few video games for both kids, and a Happy Birthday to my sweet little babies.

Koreans are were it's at, according to Miles

Miles has been going to Korean Culture Camp this whole week. It's a week long day camp, that teaches all things Korean.

I went to this camp when it first began over 30 years ago, and my mom was the director for many years. I loved it. It was so a part of me.

This year was Miles' first year. I was worried. Mr. I-don't-eat-shit-ever-because-I-just-don't, would have to eat Korean food everyday for lunch. And it is ALL day camp. So not eating at lunch time when you have a minimum of 3 recesses...would make for a very hungry tired Miles.

But to my surprise, he eats everything. Every.Fucking.Thing. Unbelievable! He told me he will try everything because it's Korean. Well hell! If I knew all I had to do was tell him what he was eating was Korean food...my last 4 years of feeding him would have been WAYYYY easier. My BFF said I should tell him, from now on, it's all Korean food. And I won't be lying. I mean...I'm Korean. And I'm "making" all his food. So technically...it's Korean food. Right? Of course right.

The other thing he said he loves about camp, is being around all the Korean kids. Miles LOVES being Korean. Absolutely loves it. He has even gone so far as to wish out loud that Ryan would be Korean. Cause he is, "For sure missing out on it."

Miles is a whole other person at camp. He is thriving. He is active and funny and excited about it everyday. I mean....there are 300+ Korean kids at this camp. He is in heaven.

Claire on the other hand said to me, "Do I have to go to Korean camp? You know, I just look Korean. I'm not though." We're still working on this with her.

Miles on his first birthday. He is wearing his traditional Hanbok for his Toljabee. Yes indeed. Miles is happy to be Korean.


*A quick side note....Miles is one of the shortest kids in the whole of the Kindergarten group. That's saying something. He's the shortest in a group of short Koreans. Zoinks!

Too fast! TOO FAST!

Well as promised...here it is. The birthday weekend blog. I write with a heavy heart, as I realize my kids are 4 and 6. I know...it doesn't SEEM that old, but it is. Claire is huge. Miles is getting...well bigger. *sigh*

Ok...well I did a quick little something about Miles' party. There wasn't much more to tell. We had very little time after the movie. But here are all the boys.


There is one other photo from Miles' party I HAVE GOT TO PUT UP! It's little JW. He's a friend of Miles'. The story is...all the kids in this family, (there are 3) eat like crazy! It's an ongoing joke sort of. My friend K said she's sending her kids to her neighbors once a week for dinner when they become teens cause they WILL eat her out of house and home.

We had very little time to eat and do gifts, and the boys were super amped up on sugar, sodium and fizzy drinks. They were bouncing off the walls. Literally. But sure enough. Little JW was sitting at the dinner table finishing his dessert. I love this kid!


Claire's party on the other hand was madness. 12 kids. We did have 15 originally, but two went out of town at the last minute and one got sick. So we had 12 kids. Making cupcakes at the local bakery. It was awesome. If you ever want to do something easy and fun for a birthday party..... this bakery will help you decorate your own cupcakes for $1.50 a kid. And you get to take home all the left over things. Frosting, sprinkles, and cupcakes. That's it too. They have a room for you and a "bakery assistant." Major hit.




Once we got back to the house, we did pizza and stuff. Then the girls ate their cupcakes. Yay! Easy and fun. There was much girly business. Dress up, naked Barbies everywhere as promised. Claire's room smelled like Cherry lip gloss. Most of the girls left with purple eyeshadow. And being we don't have ANY purple eyeshadow, I imagine they used purple lipgloss. Sticky. And Ryan did in fact toss back a few. Good man. I don't know what he would have done otherwise. It was a lot of pink and girl. I venture to say, it was a tad much for me too. But the party was a hit. And the kids were happy. I certainly needed to hit the bottle once all the kids left.





Basically the parties went well. We did keep ourselves very busy this weekend. And the kids had a blast. I would say this last photo sums up the whole of it.

I'm sad they are getting so big so fast. But I have to say. I love their funny personalities. They make my day. Most of the time.

One down...One to go

Just a quick blurb.....

Miles' party was awesome! The timing was great. The kids were great. The parents picked their kids up ON TIME! Yay parents!!! Miles had a friend stay overnight. And so they were ridiculously blissful as they ripped open, and attempted to play with every new toy received today.

Claire was bored (of course) and just hovered around them, but there was no interaction. NONE. We rented a movie for her to watch.

The ToothFairy, with the Dwayne "THE ROCK" Johnson. Stupid name. Seriously stupid movie.

Worst part of the night? Me, sitting downstairs, alone, watching this stupid fucking movie, alone. Did I mention I was ALONE watching it? What the fuck?

But we spent a whole dollar on it, and I needed closure! CLOSURE PEOPLE!!!!! I am not shitting you!!!! Ryan even came down and said, "what are you doing? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

I couldn't even tell him why. I just said, "we paid money for it." And then looked at him like I didn't want to waste the roach. It was pathetic. And I imagine it looked pathetic too. Ryan just shook his head and went back upstairs with the kids.

Lesson learned...rent NO movies tonight after Claire's party. Photos later. Of the party, not pathetic me.