Dear Lord....please send help.

Claire has become the SASSIEST 4 year old on the planet. I know it. There isn't a 4 year old girl sassier.Anywhere.Ever. Her eye rolls, foot stomping, and door slamming have shown us that things are going to be OUT OF THIS WORLD tough as hell when she's a tween/teen. (PS...what the hell is a tween? And why didn't they have that when I was supposedly one?)

Ryan has all but reserved himself to leave with Miles for those extra special days of the month when Claire and I have our "lady time". And you know, because Ryan is just that lucky...it's gonna sync up. I feel for him. I really do. He'll come home to the two of us practically killing each other, hear it from the front walk, and just tell Miles to, "run for your life son!"

Anyway. I digress.

So.....yesterday Claire was in BIG trouble. She came to me and asked for a piece of candy. I said, "sure!" Then I heard Ryan ask, "Claire! Did you just ask your mom for the candy I just told you, you COULDN'T have?!" Claire said, "Yes, but I didn't eat it, so it's ok!"

Nice. She got a big fat time out for that one. Then when her time out was over, Ryan told her she could be done. To which she did this.

Yelled NO! Then kicked her feet all over the chair, and put a humongous gift bag over her entire body. She then proceeded to sit there for at least 15-20 minutes pouting.

Note the foot at the bottom.

When Ryan would say, "Sweetie, you can get out of time out." She would punch the sides of the bag and whine. It was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing. It was mean of me for sure. But I couldn't help it. You know like when your kid swears and looks at you all nervous. When it's not in public, I'm kinda hard pressed not to burst out, and have to really work hard to stifle the giggles. Especially when it's someone else's kid. But my Claire would NEVER do that. *eyeroll*

Although this is not as funny as when she said, "OH FUCK!" in front of company, for losing a Mario guy on her DS. But that's another story, which frankly I'm none too proud to tell. I have NO idea where she would have heard that type of language. La la la la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Eventually she emerged from the gift bag to torture her brother by doing God knows what. I just ignore it. Because they need to resolve that shit on their own.

In other fun news, Miles told me this morning at breakfast, that his invisible, 12 year old, Korean brother, thinks I'm mean. I guess I now know what Miles thinks of me WAY deep down. I knew I didn't like pre-teens.