Good advice. Right? Yeah. I should have taken it. My own advice no less.
I used to be a horror movie freak! I loved them. I would watch them all the time. They didn't scare me. Just made me a little jumpy and laugh when it was over. And then after I saw The Ring, all bets were off. I completely stopped seeing all horror movies of any type ever. I mean...it was so terrifying, I would make Ryan walk me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I would literally wake him up and tell him to walk me to the bathroom. And he did. For 2 weeks. So yeah, I just was done with them.
Jump to 11 years later, THIS gem of a movie comes out. I saw the trailer and realized...it was going to be just torture. But the actors are amazing. (I love anything Lily Taylor does) And it's based on a true story. TRUE STORY!!! So how could I pass it up? And it wasn't one of those blood and guts movies like the SAW movies or a shaky camera movie like Paranormal Activity. Cause I wouldn't have seen them in the first place. And in the second place I would throw up from the motion.
So I said to my bestie, " BESTIE, I think I want to see this movie. It looks creepy and scary and I might die, but let's see it!" I also showed the trailer to some friends who were over for dinner. And when the second trailer began playing, I screamed so loud I scared my friends. Ha ha ha..I'm THAT scary movie person.
So bestie said to me...."We're going to see this movie for my birthday." Bestie and I take each other out for movies and lunch for our birthdays. It's fun. And it's the best gift. But because this movie looked so scary we enlisted the assistance of our husbands too. Poor suckers.
Jump to the movie. We have our burgers and fries. We're getting settled in. Bestie and I in the middle...husbands flanking our sides. Ready...and FUCK! The trailer for Insidious 2 NOT COOL. I will not be seeing this one.
Am I supposed to be so scared that I pee my pants BEFORE the movie even starts? I didn't think so.
Well...the movie is terrifying. Like it says in all the reviews. So terrifying in fact, I am crying throughout the movie from laughing out of pure fear. (Yeah...I laugh when I'm scared.)
The thing about this movie that makes it terrifying is this.....they make you wait and anticipate the horrible thing that goes bump in the night. But they draw that shit out to an almost ridiculous length. I mean. Almost too much. AAAALLLLMOOOSSTTT..But it's really the perfect amount to make you almost shit yourself. There are very few shocking scenes. But there is one where I screamed so loud that Ryan turned to me and said, "Wow! That was really loud!" Whoops.
AND....at one point I turned to bestie and whispered....."WHY ARE WE HERE?!?!" We were huddled together with our hands over our faces. Our husbands provided little if NO comfort.
After the movie we went our separate ways. I went to the restroom where I overheard people talking about me and bestie. They said:
"Did you hear those two girls freaking out during the movie?"
"Yeah! They scared the shit out of me!"
"They made the movie way more fun and scary."
You're welcome girls who loved us.
And once home I made the kids sleep in our room on the floor with the door closed. Ryan thought I was ridiculous, but by the time we all decided to go to bed, Ryan had been drinking with the neighbor and he was good and liquored. So he had no say in who slept on our floor and how we all slept. Ha! Here are the texts that bestie and I were exchanging...there were more, but I think you'll get the gist.
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He got me back though. At 3:37am his phone went *BING* as he received an email. It was so loud, it woke me from a semi deep sleep, (let's face it, I wasn't sleeping all that well) caused me to punch wildly in the dark night, and then promptly yell at Ryan for leaving his phone ON. I'm sure if there were any ghosts in there at the time, they witnessed my display and drifted off laughing at me.
I can be hilarious in the middle of the night.
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