My free personal trainer

Well...I've started AGAIN. Exercising. I hate it. I loathe it. In a previous life, I HAD to workout EVERYDAY 3 hours a day. So you can see why I might hate it. But at my age, it's time to get kinda serious about my body. Cause my body is serious about getting fat and sloppy. Stupid body.

Anyway, I've had a difficult time getting motivated to eat less and exercise more. Ryan's no help really, and I do appreciate that. It's not his job to get my fat ass moving. Besides, if he made it his job, well..let's just say the Teepants household would NOT be fun. He's really a smart guy afterall.

But I have scored a no-holds-barred-kick-my-lazy-bum-ass-junk-food-tossing-trainer.
Seriously. This trainer is the ONLY one who can get me to do things. And I don't even secretly want her dead. (You know she's good).

It's Claire. My 4 1/2 year old.

Examples of Claire being the BEST personal trainer of all time, in the world, EVER.

1: Sometimes during the colder days, I run up and down my stairs for 30 minutes. It's crude, but effective. I hate the treadmill. And when I start to feel myself get wobbly, I usually quit. I'm lazy that way. But this last time, I started to walk and I heard a tiny voice yell out, "Get movin' mama! Move your booty!!! You can do it!!! I'll race you slowpoke!" And with a small stinging swat on my ass...I was up and down the stairs for another 10 minutes.

2: I went on a 7 mile bike ride towing Claire on the tagalong bike the other day. We were following Ryan as he ran. It was the first of the season and let's say, I didn't fair well. My body was screaming in hot pokey pain when the following day, Ryan asked the kids if they wanted to go with him on a run. I was not conflicted in the least. Exercise with the family or do laundry sitting on my ass, (which incidentally was sore as a mother fucker.) I was going to do laundry and watch a movie with NO KIDS! Miles was going to ride his bike, and Claire was going to be in the jogging stroller. Besides, I was having a hard time walking. (Yeah I'm that out of shape..what of it?) Seriously...sore. While I was doing her hair for the run, she was blathering on about how she was going to pedal hard this time. I told her..."No no baby, you're going to be in the jogging stroller with daddy."
Tears. Major tears. She said to me, "Mom...I thought we were going to ride the double bike again. I won't have anyone to taaaaaaaaalk toooooooooo waaaaaahhhhhhhh." Yeah..you know my sore ass went on another 7 mile bike ride. *side note* once you're about 2 miles in, the pain goes away and a pleasant numbness settles in. Then you can't feel your thighs for a few hours afterwards.

3: This morning, I said, "Whoa...only one english muffin left. I should get some more today." Claire: "Mom, I'll take mine with butter please. You know they're two so they're for sharing."

I swear to all that is good and healthy in the world, this girl will help me get High school skinny if it kills me.