3 little grave stones all in a row

We've had an epic amount of dead squirrels in our yard as of late. When I say epic, I mean....3 in the past few weeks. Last year we had no squirrels to speak of. It was a bit odd, but who's complaining? I hate the things. They're dirty and they yell at my kids when they play on the playset in the backyard. Dirty little fuckers.

Anyway. Once all the snow melted away about a week ago, Claire came running up to Ryan and me and said, "Dad! There's a squirrel in the yard and he's sleeping and he looks like THIS! (this is when she stuck out fake buck teeth, bugged her eyes open, and put her little hands up under her chin like she was a beaver or something) And I think he's sleeping but his teeth scare me!" Sure enough, Ryan went back to inspect and the thing, and it was D-E-A-D. Gross.

Ryan did notice it was not bleeding or *gag* chewed on. It just looked like it had a heart attack and was preserved in the snow all winter. So he buried it under the pines in the backyard.

Earlier this past week, I was in the back with the kids and the neighbor. I looked under the deck for some reason and I noticed a dead squirrel! Seriously. Another one. So my neighbor looked at it and started laughing. It was "sleeping" just like the other one. Well, Ryan was out of town, and you can bet I left that little thing for him or whatever animal decided they wanted squirrel for dinner. Gross. Plus is snowed again this week so...there's that.

When Ryan went to clean it up today he said there were no indications of how it died. No maiming, no bleeding. Just dead. So he buried it next to the other one. He went about his time with the kids in the backyard. Planting hops for his mead and beer, and letting the kids run around. As he was heading in, he noticed ANOTHER FUCKING DEAD SQUIRREL right where he had been burying the others. It had died in the few minutes that he and the kids were back there.

Ryan went to one of the neighbors houses to see if they had noticed any dead squirrels. He asked them if they maybe had put down poison to kill them. Which would have been fine, but he didn't want the kids getting around it. But nope. That wasn't it. Our elderly neighbor said to Ryan, "I shoot squirrels. I got like 13 last year." I'm assuming that's why we didn't notice any last year. I thought it was pretty quiet.

But apparently this year, his aim is off or something and these little suckers are running off to die in our yard. He was concerned it was traumatizing the kids. However Ryan assured him the kids thought it was just "natural" to have that happen...gross by the way. But it was in fact traumatizing ME his wife.

Well we have our answers. No poison. Just a neighbor who has a pellet gun, some time on his hands, and much hate for those bushy tailed grey rodents. My kids however, as much as they dislike squirrels, and they do because I do, decided to put little stone markers for them. Under our pine trees. In the backyard. Gross.