In MN we do shit like this

Yep. It's Winter Carnival time once again!

I love it. Where else do a bunch of level headed people go out in below zero weather and stand around to look at ice and snow sculpture? That or stand on the streets in a howling wind tunnel (because you know that when you're downtown ANYWHERE the wind blows like a motherfucker) and watch a parade. FOR HOURS?

This year we went with our friends Rachel and Dan. We met for lunch at Pizza Luce, and then headed on down the hill for the event.

We usually go to see the ice sculptures, and attend either the Grande Day Parade or the Torchlight Parade. You literally stand outside for hours and watch a parade that should be done in the summer, like most places. But it's in late January. The coldest part of the year. I LOVE IT! I'm not kidding either.

Well this year we saw the ice sculptures in Rice Park. They're pretty damn cool.



Check out this chick wielding the chainsaw!


This year they created a huge ice wall. The kids thought it was glass. Miles had to really look through it. We were able to watch some of the sculpting competition.



The whole "legend" of the carnival is such: crazy-creepy-makes-us-seem-like-a-bunch-of-freaks-but-lack-of-sun-will-do-this-to-people

But the gist of it, the snow/ice king (King Boreas) is battling the fire king (Vulcan King). There's Snow and Ice royalty. A whole court of royalty and then you have the Vulcans. But before I get into the "Vulcan run in" , yes it's an event all of it's own, check back at those photos that show all the people. I saw a dear old friend in passing. And when I say passing...I mean 2 seconds of recognition..."Hey! How are you?" And then you can't stay for the answer, because the crowd keeps moving, and it WILL swallow you whole. You and your kids. But I digress.....

We ventured into the Landmark Center for all the kids activities and the second we do, we here it. The dreaded siren of the Vulcans. Seriously. That sounds brings fear into me. I mean look at these dudes. They're creepy as hell and they have WAYYYYY too much testosterone coursing through their bodies for anyone's good.


My girlfriend Rachel and I talked about when we were kids, and they would run up to you at a local city's parade and rub their cheeks on your face. It was called "the mark". They'd leave black grease paint all over you. It sucked. And they were creepy fuckers. Well, poor Rachel subconsciously hid behind her husband as soon as the siren went off. It was hilarious. But my poor little Claire? Not so lucky. She couldn't hide fast enough.

She was accosted by the entire group of red dressing, grease paint smearing fools. They got her. The king of the Vulcans no less. They can't really smear their faces on you anymore. There was some kind of lawsuit that involved sexual assault. And people wonder why I fear them. So now they use some kind of black grease lipstick tube. Sadly this was the result of Claire's meet and greet with them.


She was so pissed off about it, she didn't smile for an hour. We didn't know what happened, but when we stopped for hot cocoa, she asked Ryan if she could, "finally take off the V". We said yes, wiped it off, and it was happy times once again for our little Claire.

Miles however really thought they were cool. He liked the mask they gave him. And so Claire tried it too, but really....nothing could help.


All in all a good time. We spent a few hours there, and the kids loved it. Claire especially once the V was removed. She could have been one of the REALLY lucky girls who had a black grease paint goatee and mustache drawn on their faces. I think it's just downright mean. The moral of this story? The Vulcans suck.