This was NOT one of those times.

This past weekend was filled with fun! I went out with my bestie. Who I never go "out" with. We were celebrating a friend's 35th birthday! She's young a beautiful. Lucky bitch!

Anyway....as the night wore on..my dear old bestie and her sister "be-friended" a couple at one of the bars. They were the standard type of couple you'd see from this particular neighborhood. Very suburban, and thin and beautiful. But Good God Damn were they drunk. AND looking for a good time. And when I say a good time. I mean they were in search of some serious naughty swinging business. YUCK. I think they were initially interested in having dear bestie and her sister home for the fun, but...then the crazy saw me.

Now, just that night we were chatting about how men have a "thing" for the Asian persuasion. I have my theories, but basically, any movie about Vietnam in then 60's and 70's made Asian women seem like slutty-do-anything-you-want-five-dolla-make-you-holla kind of women. And let's face it, men can be pigs. Especially when drinking cheap beer in a townie bar.

As I was telling my bestie we were heading out, this drunk woman, let's call her Big Drunk Horny Blonde was all up in my face...blabbing about how exotic...blah blah blah..then she made THE PROPOSITION. Ugh. And now my REAL story.

Last night I was out with another group of friends. I picked up one of my friends before I dropped the kids off at my parents. As she got in the car she did the the polite, "what'd ya do last night?"

I told her it was kinda crazy and that I would share it with her later. Cause it was not something the kids should hear. To which Miles my 6 year old pipes in, "Mom, we already know what happened. You can tell her now."

Here's the conversation. And it's pretty much verbatim:

ME: Ok then smarty...what happened?

MILES: You went out and um, then you went to another place, and um J was there, with the neighbor and J's sister and umm. and umm....(and um was big here)

ME: And?

MILES: And then a lady you didn't know said you were HOT and that she was going to let you sleep with her husband and she wanted to watch.

ME: *crickets chirping*

Yep. I had nothing, but tears streaming down my face. And my friend in the car was trying, without success, to not laugh loudly in the car.

The ONE thing of the night he didn't need to hear. He heard. And I know for a fact I didn't tell Ryan that when I thought the kids were even in ear shot.

I will say this, when he was stammering through the first part of the story, I was watching him in the rearview mirror. When he got done saying is peace, I looked at his face and he didn't really comprehend what he said. His face said, "Why would she want to watch you sleep? And with her husband?"

There was a scrunched up forehead and then I said, "MILES! Don't EVER tell that story to anyone again! PLEASE! Especially don't tell grandma and grandpa!" He agreed it was a weird story and that he would forget it.

Sadly after his last conferences we find that stories that he "overhears" at home, are put into words in his writing class. Isn't that awesome? The last thing was about beer and Ryan. I can't quite put the details here, cause let's face it. I was mortified. But his 1st grade teacher assured us it was normal and ok. Yeah right.

I made him promise under penalty of destroying all Star Wars things, that he would NEVER repeat that story again. Then I told him how that woman was crazy and really being silly and weird. It still works on 6 year olds. They're gullible.

However....I love his ability to recall things. Just not this.