Sometimes being a mom is not so cool

I try not to get all squishy schmoopy about my kids here. Hopefully it is clear from my writing, I love them. More then anything. However....this medium is for me to vent when I can't say some of this stuff to them. Cause I know it will come back to haunt me when my children are adults, and in therapy, because I told them, "I don't fucking care if you don't like THIS kind of mac and cheese! Shut up! Eat it or starve for all I fucking care!" Which, by the way...has never happened. But it happens in my head sometimes. When I am deep breathing with my eyes closed and my fists clenched.

So...Ryan has been gone. (Haven't drilled that into this blog enough *eye roll*) And the natives are going to stage a coup. I believe I heard plotting and scheming yesterday in the backseat. Either way...I always think I am prepared for things.

Today....not so prepared.
Example number 1: My almost 5 year old was caught lying. For the first time. He and his cousin were doing monkey business today at my parents house, and broke something. Miles protested so strongly that he in fact "DID NOT DO IT" I believed him. But because I am mom, I threw in..."if you're lying to me I will know and you will be in big trouble!" His tiny little shamed voice then said..."yes I did it." Not with as much conviction but I heard it. And damn! I almost believed him. I really was ready to let him off the hook. Damnit. now I have to second guess, cause he knows HOW to lie. Shit.

Example number 2: Claire said to me, "I don't like you!" She's almost 3. I wasn't sure how to take it, cause well, Miles has never spoken to me like that. I turned to her with "the big eyes", told her I was sorry she was stuck with me, and then began to be somewhat petty. Cause, I had hurt feelings. I did. I won't lie. I told her a girl who doesn't like me must not want to have a sleep over in my room. She cried. Of course. Then she asked how she can have a sleep over. I told her she had to apologize. And not like her cousin does...he just says.."APOLOGIZE!" She had to tell me she was sorry. And why she was sorry. She did. Then I said to her, "you don't always have to like me Claire. You DO NOT get to tell me that." I think she understood that. So instead of telling me she didn't like me. She peed the floor in the middle of the night. Awesome.

Two examples of how my children are trying to overthrow me as queen of the land. They are doing things I would never see coming. And to which I have no good responses. Only because, I AM THROWN OFF MY GAME! I am going to have to start, already, with the "sneaking suspicions". Shit shit shit!

Where are those sweet agreeable children that were here this past weekend when their dad was home? They must smuggle themselves into his luggage when he travels, and leave me with their Doppelgängers .

I DO NOT HEART THIS. Send help.