When they get older, you get sleep.

When my kids were little, I'd wake up very early and gently wake them for school. I'd rouse them from their slumber with a hot breakfast. Eggs, homemade pancakes, bacon, sausage..all of that delicious food usually saved for the weekends. I'd pack their lunches as they sleepily pulled on their clothes that I had lovingly laid out the night before. We'd talk about what they had going on that day over orange juice and cartoons. Then I'd get them on their way, backpacks on their backs, full of homework I'd help them complete the night before during snack time. I'd drive them to the front door of the elementary school and wave good bye with many "I love yous and have a great day."

Jump ahead several years and both of my kids are in middle school. The girl dresses for school the night before so she doesn't have to "be cold getting dressed in the morning". She wakes at 5:45 to do her hair AND makeup. Yep. MAKEUP. The boy wakes at 6 because when he woke at 6:30 it didn't work for him to take the dog out AND eat breakfast. Breakfast consists of frozen waffles or a piece of toast. And when I finally wake up at 7, I yell at them to make sure they eat a piece of fruit and take their vitamins. Then we rush out the door at 7:20 to do the carpool. The girl usually forgets to pack her lunch until the very last minute, and forgets or misplaces her phone so we all run back into the house to help her locate it. But I drive them to the front door of the middle school and I get "love you mom! Have a good day" from them.

What was my point you ask? When my kids got to middle school I figured it was time for them to do things on their own. And that my friends, has worked out AMAZING for me! I get to sleep! Winner!!!! And apparently they still love me and don't ask why I don't do anything for them in the mornings anymore.

Sometimes just being there is enough

Yesterday I brought my friend to her chemo appointment at the Mayo clinic. It's easy for me to bring her because I go there for my own brand of poking and prodding. I know my way around and I can just take control of where we're going and she doesn't have to think.

I love my friend. She's a neighbor, and a wonderful woman. Her kids are my kids' friends. Our husbands are friends. We're close. Very close. And she's had lymphoma for 12 years.

Now...I want to be clear that I'm not looking to be told I'm "such a good friend." Blah blah. It's stupid. I take her because I love her. We spend all day there. From 8am to 1am. We laugh, nap, talk, watch bad movies, eat bad food and just be. I try to make chemo as fun as it can be. And let me tell you, it's not that fun. We joke with the nurses. They remember us. Boy oh boy do they remember us. They come in and say, "OH! You two are back!" I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. But hey, they laugh with us so....win?

But last night was a bummer. She got sick to her stomach for the first time on this chemo med. It really sucked. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there in the parking ramp at 11PM, in below 0 weather, telling her to breath deep. Our friend M was with us too. She had the mints ready. But...it was sucky to have that happen. In the almost 14 times I've taken her to chemo, that has never happened. And it freaked my friend out. She cried. And then I cried. And then we got our shit together and I drove us home the hour and a half.

I hate cancer. Cancer took one of my dearest friends a few years back. He was an amazing friend, father, husband, man. And I see his wife and kids on the regular, and it still breaks my heart. His wife and I often end up cry/laughing. Crying because it's sad, laughing because we usually end up crying in public places and so we laugh because we KNOW we look ridiculous! It's what we do. Because just being there for her, and listening to her, and letting her know I feel the loss still too, is kind of what is needed sometimes. And I feel the loss. I can't stop myself from tearing up as I even type this. He was my friend.

So yeah. My friend/neighbor has cancer and I took her to chemo. And I'm sad about having to do it. But she's still alive. And I'm thankful for that. Basically this post is about how I hate cancer. Cancer sucks.

Oh boy!

Yikes! It's been so long since I've updated this blog I was worried it would have vanished off the face of the earth.

But alas. It's still here. Trusty ole Google.

Things have been BUSY here at Casa De Teepants. Vacations. Sports. (yep you read that right. Sports) New jobs. Old jobs. And all about the kids.

I need a break for sure. Like a vacation that doesn't involve me cooking for a billion people, or worrying about who's doing what where when and how. I did go on an amazing trip with my girlfriend in late February 2015. We went to NYC. To see Alan Cumming reprise his roll as the emcee in Cabaret. (It's been a dream of mine to see this since he first did it in 1991. Yeah. I know... a HS student wanting to see some random dude in a play?) Yep. And 40+ year old me loved every second of it.

I would most likely go back to NY. It was a whirlwind vacay. 3 days. In. Out. Done. Back home to reality.

Spent an amazing summer vacation with my family. My entire family. We went to the North Shore of MN for a week. It was fantastic. But.....yeah I cooked for a billion people. But it was worth it.

This summer is almost over. Already! And my days have been filled with neighborhood kids, my kid's friends and more kids. I don't even know where some of them came from. But they're here. All the time. I never have just my family. Last week we had one of Miles' friends stay the entire week. Just because. I don't know. I just feed them, clean up after them, and take them where they all need to go when they need to get there.

Claire has been tennis bound. She loves Tennis. She plays tennis with our rival Atheltic Association. But she also has taught herself soccer ball tricks, as well as gymnastics. But she won't do either of those sports because, she doesn't like to run all that much, and she doesn't want people staring at just her. I get it. She's also taking a rock climbing course this summer with a friend of hers. She loves anything that puts her body at risk.

Miles has begun Tae Kwon Do lessons. 4 days a week. Yep. 4. We're at the TKD studio all the time. I live there. Friday nights he's practically there for 3 hours.  But he's loving it. He never complains about going.

Ryan got a promotion. He's managing people now. And his company merged with another company so there's a billion changes. But whatever. He travels so minimally now and usually works from home.

I'm working very part time at my friend's chiropractic clinic. She's a small business owner who needs occasional help with billing. So it gets me out. I make a bit of money. It's nice. I also ran my own rail race. 25K. Yep. Ran it in less than 5 hours. So yay me! It was the same race Ryan's been running. And now I am super done running.

I don't have much else to report. Thats it. It's like a Christmas letter in July. I'm going to try to keep up with this thing. For me. It's nice to look back and see what's been going on with my family. This way I hopefully won't forget EVERYTHING that's happened in my world.

HAL here we come!

Ryan has decided to fully automate our house. I mean....I thought getting a Roomba was a big deal. But no. He's got cameras up. Door locks. Lights controlled by our phones. Garage door sensor. Water sensor. Wall sensor (don't ask).

I swear. If a light goes on in the middle of the night because of the "fully automated house" I'm moving.

If the door unlocks and a mass murderer gets in and kills us and takes the kids for their own amusement, I'm moving.

If the sensor for the garage door goes off and scares the shit out of me I'm moving.

Now Ryan's talking about putting the fireplaces on a remote control. I didn't know I married a swinging bachelor. Brother.

I'm holding out hope though. I can only dream of my sitting around watching my stories with my robot maid.

The ghost that lives in my foyer.

Years ago, my best friend was sitting on my basement sofa and was looking into my foyer. She announced she was not digging the old lady who was staring at her from the foyer. Now I don't remember if dear bestie was loaded, or just totally fucking with me. But needless to say I poo poo'd it.

Skip ahead a few years and I was walking down the stairs from the upstairs to the foyer, and on the second to last step it felt like someone pulled my foot from underneath me. And I fell to the tile floor cracking my forearm and back on the hardwood steps. Ouchie. For sure. I wrote it off as me being clumsy. But still that "old lady" was in the back of my mind. Because it FELT like someone grabbed my ankle and pulled.

And then nothing for almost a year.

But last night. I was in the foyer. Looking out the front door to see the storm, (it was a whopper), and I turned to tell Ryan, who was sitting in the basement. I took one step down and......WHOOOOSH!

It felt like someone pushed me, like literally pushed me down the stairs.

I was spread eagle. Laying flat on the carpeted stairs from the top to the bottom. Flailing my arms above my head. Hitting my head, back and butt all the way down.

When I landed I was bawling. Like crying so hard I started laughing. I just imagined what I looked like to Ryan. He rushed over to see if I was ok. And all I could do was roll around laugh crying and wailing about "OH MY ARM! OH MY ASS! OH MY HEAD! WAAAAHHHH HA HA HA WAHHHHHHH!!!"

After I was able to get myself together I asked him. "Did it look hilarious?" He said "yeah it was funny except for the falling down the stairs part."

Stupid ass ghost living in my foyer. And so now I can't work out because I can hardly walk let alone run. Ugh! I'm old. Crippled. And apparently haunted.

Summer time!

I know I know...Whatever, school got away from me. Then the summer has taken me away. And well...yeah.

I'm currently in Omaha Nebraska. Sitting in a hotel room while the kids play on their ipods. Then pretty soon we'll go to the hotel pool.  We were just at an art museum. It was culture. And it killed time. We're here because Ryan's working here. And we just tagged along.

Last week we were in Los Angeles visiting my sister. It was warm and beautiful. I have photos, but I don't have them up. The kids loved Disneyland, and the ocean. We swam in Santa Monica beach for hours. And got a good ol' tan.

After we get home from Nebraska, we go to Ely to a cabin with some friends. OMG. I'm travel tired already!

I need a vacation from my vacations. I actually miss cooking. And eating home cooking. I mean I love going out to eat. But not for three meals a day for 3 weeks straight. It's gross. And boring.

So it's time to swim. Again. OMG.....Help.

Oh My Grapes

As Claire says for OMG.

I've been watching True Tori. And OMG...it's a train wreck. The quick rundown is that Tori Spelling's husband Dean McDermott cheated on her, had a breakdown because he got caught, and is in rehab for the past 3 months.  And the "reality" show is her "true sTori". Gross. Get it?

I can't stop watching it. The man is such a victim. And such an awful actor. And holy shit does Tori Spelling seem like a lifeless robot.

I don't know how I'd react to my husband cheating on me, but I can guarantee it wouldn't be played out on the Lifetime network.

The part that bugs me the WORST.....her reaction to the paparazzi. She claims to hate it, and feels like they intrude.  But as she's schlepping her kids from here to there, those poor kids are freaking out at the people behind the cameras. Yelling at them to stop. And crying about them being followed.  But she's doing a show. On tv. Being filmed. And wanting the attention. I don't get it.

She complains about the paparazzi, yet she has her own reality show where a camera is in her face 24/7. And the stuff they're sharing..ugh. He wanted to commit suicide when she found out about his cheating. Because "he didn't feel he deserved her and she'd be better off". He's LITERALLY the worst actor of all time. And Tori. She looks like a bird who has a broken wing, and wants everyone to know she's injured. But in that I'm ok but I'm not ok kind of way.

All I keep thinking is, these FOUR, yes four, kids are going to see this train wreck and wonder why the hell their parents put their celebrity before them.

But don't get me wrong. I'm so watching it. Just to judge the shit out of them. I can't help it. I'll admit. I feel bad for her sometimes. But there are stories out there, they made it all up to get themselves a show. If that's true, they really are douche bags.

Either way, I'll be watching. Judging. Eye rolling. And well...more judging.

This is my life.

The spring had sprung. And the snow was leaving us. However, we got a dumping of about 9 inches here last night. I'm ok with this. I don't hate winter and cold like everyone else. We don't try and "get away" in the winter time. I like it. That's why I live in MN.

Sadly being "cooped" up in the house for a few months really makes for messy bedrooms, unorganized thoughts and spaces, and well just all around ddddduuuuuuhhhhhness.
But for some reason, the snow made my kids EXTRA special this morning.

KIDS: Is it a snow day?!?!?!

ME: No.

KIDS: LaDeeDaDeeDaDeeDum......(this is them not doing a damn thing to get ready for school)

ME: Brush your teeth you guys. (you don't want to KNOW how many times I told them to get dressed, eat breakfast, get their backpacks ready, clear their breakfast dishes, etc. you get it)

KIDS: Are you sure it's not a snow day?

ME: BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

CLAIRE: I can't find my toothbrush.

ME: WHAT? WHERE IS IT?

CLAIRE: I don't know.....LaDeeDaDeeDaDeeDum

MILES: I can't find it mom.

ME: Miles! Brush YOUR teeth!

MILES: LaDeeDaDeeDaDeeDum

ME: Seriously?!?!

KIDS: LaDeeDaDeeDaDeeDum I bet it's going to be a snow day.

ME: Get moving! Get your backpacks ready!

KIDS: THEY ARE! *deep sigh from Claire* LaDeeDaDeeDaDeeDum

(they aren't)

ME: You guys! Dad's waiting for you outside!!!

KIDS: LaDeeDaDeeDaDeeDum Oh ok.

KIDS: By mom! Love you!

ME: AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Yeah...so that happened this morning.

9 years and still so happy

Today we celebrate bringing Miles home from Korea. It's been 9 lovely years. He's an amazing kid. We're so lucky.

One of my favorite memories of the return trip home.....I had been sick the entire time Ryan and I were in Korea. The flight home I was miserable. (Miles was perfect of course) And it took forever to get through customs in MN.

But Ryan and I were coming off the elevator and the doors opened and I saw my bestie jumping up and down yelling "THEY'RE HERE!!!! THEY'RE HERE!!!!!" And pounding the glass.

It was the most welcome sight. And all was well.

And nine years later I'm reminded of the love and care that Miles was welcomed into.

Miles in Korea getting ready to leave

This makes perfect sense.

She's ready

Today Miles had a friend over. A friend the kids are really close to. He's adorable. I love him. He's a good kid.

He was standing next to Claire and me in the kitchen talking, when Claire let one rip. She farted. REAL loud.

I looked at her and said, "Claire! Did you fart?!?!" Miles' friend said, "I DIDN'T DO THAT!"

Claire looked at us and very deadpan said, "Yeah it was me. He was standing in my personal bubble."

I'm good with it. She's going to be just fine when it comes to boys.

I didn't see this coming.

Delving further into my 23andme results, I learned my genetic make up. And it's not all Korean.

What's that you say? Yep. I'm pretty much 50/50 Korean Japanese.

I'm not going to lie. It was a bit of a shock. And I wanted to run around my house galloping like a mad rabid horse yelling OH-MY-GOD-WHAT-IS-THIS-WORLD-COMING-TO-HOLY-SHIT-MOTHER-FUCKER-MY-LIFE-AS-I-KNOW-IT-IS-A-LIE-OH-WHY-MEEEEEEEE!? 

But instead I was all, "Hey guess what? I'm as Japanese as I am Korean. Weird right?" 

My mom said she was surprised at how "well" I took the information. Ha little did she know I was a crazed lunatic in my head. But I'm ok with it now.

I have also learned I have about 150 3rd-6th cousins. Maybe I'm related to Kevin Bacon after all. I mean...isn't everyone?

I'm so excited right now!

I got this cool DNA testing kit for my birthday from Ryan. You spit in a tube for a million hours, then mail it in.

It was supposed to give me medical information and ancestry information based on my DNA. And I submitted it in November.

Due to the FDA being money hungry bastards, 23andme delayed processing information for quite a while. Also they no longer offer medical information. However, due to the actual date that I submitted the spit. I made it just under the wire to get all the goods.

And today after long last. I got the goods.

I won't bore you with all the details. But suffice it to say I won't be making any hasty medical decisions anytime soon. I take the info with a grain of salt regarding the medical stuff. I mean...it's super technical. I've never even heard of most of the diseases, syndromes, and other miscellaneous mumbo jumbo.  But it's nice to know that I don't carry the gene for Alzheimers or Parkinsons.

My favorite part. The part I find the most fascinating, is the "traits" page. It says things about hair color, height, muscle growth, response to exercise, finger length. All the stuff people know and learn about by knowing their family. Their genetic family. I'm almost in tears thinking about the things I've finally learned about myself. Why I'm the way I am. I've never known it. And it makes me feel more connected to my birth family then I have ever felt.

I feel fortunate to learn these things. Next up....I get to find out about ancestry. In two weeks, I could possibly find blood relatives. That's something I never thought possible.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who cares about this stuff. But it sure means so much to me. And I can't stop talking about it, which I'm pretty sure is bugging the shit out of people. But whatever. They've had their whole lives to know themselves. I'm just finding out for the first time. They can deal.

Ah..crap

Well it's happened.  My swearing has reached EPIC proportions. I mean...Fucking epic.

Ryan and the kids have noticed that I will drop the F-bomb, and a shit any old time. I'm so thankful that my kids realize that they're just words. But yet, they are NOT allowed to utter them, themselves.

However. The other day. I was in Miles' room, and he came strolling in and must have realized he forgot something and said, "Oh shiiii.....(pause)...nevermind mom!" And ran out. AFTER making this face

You know he was about to finish the word. But caught himself JUST.IN.TIME.

You may ask, "Did you get mad SJT? Did you punish him?" How can I be mad? I can't. I laughed and busted him. Then I heard them. Those turds. Ryan and Claire told me I need to "work on my swearing."

So now I have a swear jar. Well...it's more like a swear wine glass. I have to put a quarter in it each time I swear. At least each time the kids hear me swear. (I told Ryan I'd go broke if it was for ALL swearing.) I realize I'm the worst mom. I never used to swear. I must be low on vitamin D.

Either way. I have the stupid swear police on my ass daily. Claire gets simply giddy if she even hears me say dangIT and has to check to see if I said DANG it or DAMN it. She's a shit. It started yesterday and I already have quite a collection of quarters in the glass. I've just given up at this point and put my bag of quarters next to the glass.

Ryan said that in no time at all, he'll be able to get the XBox One or the PS4. Or probably both with my fucking mouth. I'm blaming the weather. Stupid fucking Polar Fucking Vortex.

It's about that time!

Christmas is just around the corner. And it's going to be a doozie for us this year! Just....a lot of "stuff" happening.

Vague. But trust me....Doozie!

So this will be my credo all week....

Deal with it family.

Personality test

I took a personality test tonight and this is what it says about me. If you know me in the real world. It's all true. I'm totally this amazing. Ha ha ha ha....

The Social Realist

Social Realists are popular persons full of energy. They are reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to them. Founding a family also plays a central role in their life. Social Realists have a marked social streak.

They are always ready to listen to the worries and problems of others and spare no effort when they are asked for help. With empathy and understanding, they can sense what other people need. Social Realists are always willing to highly regard the strong points of the other person and to excuse that person’s weaknesses. They are the most sociable of all personality types. Social contacts are very important to them.

Social Realists find it very difficult to cope with conflicts and criticism - harmony is their elixir of life. Acknowledgement and esteem are very important to this type. Differentiation on the other hand is not necessarily one of their strong points. At work and in partnerships, they are loyal, committed and always there when needed. They find it easy to make friends due to their open, warm manner and they have a large circle of friends. In love, they are faithful and attentive and care for their partners with a great deal of imagination and sensitivity. Social Realists show their feelings openly and honestly. Should a relationship break up, they tend to blame themselves. That is why they find it very difficult to end a partnership even if it has not fulfilled their requirements for some time.


Social Realists are more conservative types. They have a set system of values and rules which is orientated to the prevailing traditions. They prefer clear, structured surroundings and work processes; they find too much change und unrest unpleasant. Their strong points are carefulness and reliability and not so much flexibility and spontaneity. Social Realists are open-minded towards anything new only to a limited extent. But, should one be looking for someone to fulfil a task reliably and exactly, they are the right persons.

Adjectives that describe your type
extroverted, practical, sentimental, planning, emotional, temperamental, energetic, tradition-conscious, loyal, helpful, devoted, reliable, caring, objective, thorough, organised, warm-hearted, open, friendly, sociable, chummy, obliging, self-sacrificing, public-spirited, sensitive, kind, demanding

They did however forget that I, apparently a Social Realist, don't really like to put up with shit for too long. There will ALWAYS be fallout from shit I don't put up with. It's messy and I hold a grudge.

Hiatus

I haven't been writing much. I didn't say anything about the big race. Not really. Or the start of school. Or Korean Camp. Or much else.

It's been a busy few months. I don't even know what's happening these days. My kids are changing so fast.

Miles wants to play foot ball next year. Ugh. He's dinky and those kids are taller and bigger than I am. And that's saying a lot.

Claire is the sassy same.

Well I haven't much to share right now. Sorry little sister Cindi.

I'll leave you with these...photo of my 40th Surprise party. Yep Ryan planned a suprise party along with sweet little sister Cindi. And the big race.

Me and my bestie at the party. We did duckface AND the Korean peace sign. Apparently it's a thing with the kids.

Also Ryan finishing his 103 miles. Miles ran the last 600 yards with him.  Can you believe my crazy husband? He looks amazing for just running 103 miles in 34.5 hours.

I'm alive!!!

Today I turn 40. Yep. The BIG 4-0!

At the tender age of 23 I was diagnosed with a rare form of liver disease. The doctor who diagnosed me said, "You'll be very lucky to make it to your 40th birthday."

Wah wah Waaaaahhhhhh.......*debbie downer*

I know right?

Well today I'm 40. I woke up with a bit of a stuffed nose, but nothing that's going to kill me. Literally.
So I say....

SUCK IT DR. PAYNE! Yay 40!!!

Eric

Today Ryan and lost a very good friend. He's been battling cancer for less than a year. A year ago he was at the apple orchard with us and our familes. Today he has passed away.

I'm completey heartbroken. He was an amazing friend. I'll miss him making fun of me. He was the only man I would allow to tease the way he did. I admired him. And we loved him.

Today is a very sad day.

12 Years means diamonds!

Ryan and I have been married for 12 years today. 12 years married 15 years together. Seriously. It's awesome.

Look how young we look. This was taken right after we got married. Like the day. Or the week. Something.

Now there's this.....

What the hell? I think I need diamonds now.