Tangental thoughts on Parents and Family

As a parent I hope to God that I am doing alright. I think my parents did an ok job. Not perfect but ok. I turned out to be a nice productive member of society. I mean I haven't been in jail and I pay my taxes on time.

I was talking to Jill about parents today. What we want for our kids and how we treat them. We also talked about family. I have decided that parents set the tone for how the family is run and in turn how you treat your own kids as a parent.

Sometimes parents are able to let their kids go after a certain age and treat them like the adults they are. Sometimes there are parents who can't do that and will do whatever it takes to keep their kids "needing" them. Then there are the worst type of parents, who say they want their kids to be happy and healthy and independent, but really are sabotaging it so that the kids are miserable their whole lives. I mean for instance.....passive aggressive behavior with your ADULT kids is just wrong. It is mean and uncalled for.

I also think that when you have a parent like this growing up you do one of two things. Either you embrace that type of living with your own kids and teach them that talking behind others backs and backstabbing is ok, as long as you tell them to their faces they are loved and part of a good family. No one in this family lets it out and everyone is feeling like everyone is talking about them. Because of course this is how your family works.

Then you have the parents who won't stand for it because they hated it growing up. They are open and honest with their kids. They don't let things fester inside and then blow at the smallest strangest things. They also discuss feelings. Whether angry or not. Yelling or talking. It is getting taken care of so you do realize you are REALLY loved and part of a good family. No secrets.

Like I said.....my parents weren't perfect. But the did allow us to talk about everything. It is all out there all the time. Sometimes it throws Ryan. And it certainly throws my sister's husband Tye. But we all know where we stand. And there is no passive aggressive actions. Unless I am fighting my dad or Cindi for the People Crossword.