From about 19 years old to 24 years old, I lived an entirely different life. I always wanted, since I was little, to have kids, a nice husband and live in the suburbs. Because that of course was what I knew.
The 5 year tangent is what I will call......Me #2. And in that "me" there are sub-categories. There is "I don't recognize me, me" and then there is "don't share once you have kids, me".
First me was young, stupid and pretty much trusting of just about everyone. That is when I met my ex-husband. He turned "me" into "who the fuck are you?"
People who know me now, who didn't know me then would say.....you are so bossy, sassy, and I could never see you letting THAT happen to you. I say...being beat senseless everyday for NO reason, being treated like a prisoner in my own home and told I was worthless all the time, pretty much makes you bossy, sassy, and not a person who puts up with very much shit.
He moved me to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and yes...I was the only Asian there who didn't work at the Chinese restaurant in town. Thankfully, the old me didn't allow the stupid me to put up with it for more then 2 years. Then we both up and walked the hell away. NEVER LOOKING BACK! Can't say the same for the asshole who I left. He still tries to contact me. I say...get over it dude. You lost.
The next category of me, started dating someone who I had never thought I would date. He was a nice guy. Just not my type. I usually dated the jock type. This man introduced me to so many different things. It was the late 90's. He was a drummer in a punk band. A pretty popular one here in MN for that matter. I was immersed into a culture I had no idea how to navigate. Luckily some of the girls were more then happy to be-friend me. And with my new sassy frass attitude it worked out well.
I smoked heavily, drank just as heavily and went to shows all the time. I probably engaged in behaviors I shouldn't share as I am a mother of 2 young kids and this blog is public. I had hair all kinds of colors and lived like a vagrant in a cost effective house that had a lot of mice and a lot of dudes living in it. But they were my friends. And they protected me from my ex-husband when he would try to invade my NEW life. The dudes not the mice.
But of course everyone who knew me then, knew it wasn't really my scene. I was cut out to be a mom in the burbs. Or at least THEY thought I was. So when I left said man, there were really no surprises. I do miss the people I met during that time....some of them were so....rad.
Anyway.....I was thinking about it today, and hope my kids get to be someone else for a little while in their life. It really helped me become the mom in the burbs. Sadly after a 5 year stint living in St. Paul I re-thought the burbs part and just wanted the city. But it's ok. Full circle people. It's good.
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