Oh my.

Have you ever had a friend, who made you worry that when you returned home you would have boiling rabbit on your stove?

I did. I have had such a friend. She was creepy. Let's call her crazy-psycho-gives-a-bad-name-to-women-all-over-the-world. Too long? Ok....how about crazy bitch? She was the type of person who made it clear I couldn't have any other new friends but her. And anyone showing interest in becoming my friend was "honing in" on her territory. Almost like a jealous boyfriend, but not as adorable and far more un-nerving.

Before I really got to know her....I liked her. She was really nice. Very friendly. And seemingly open about things just like me. I thought for sure we would be life long friends. Just a feeling I guess. So I set her up with my roommate. I'll call him D. I loved my roommate. He was wonderful. Aside from being a really cool guy, we worked together for years. So I knew him very very well. I thought they would really hit it off. And they did.

Sadly as time went on I realized she was Cah-ray-zyyy! I felt bad that D had fallen head over heels with loony toons. And I tried to talk some sense into him, along with many other mutual friends we had. But to no avail. D was smitten.

I knew the dream was over when at work, said girlfriend, announced to me in front of other co-workers that, "I was not allowed to have any other work friends. Just her!"

Fuck me!

Pretty much everyone who was in ear shot, looked at her like she was a 10 foot tall she-demon walking into the room and pointing at me with a withered red finger saying...."YOU!!!!" Then they all backed away slowly so not to draw any attention to themselves. Wimpy bastards!

So...from then on I was careful. I didn't let her know if I had to train new staff, cause she would freak out in fear I would become friends with them. I didn't tell her what I was doing over the weekend for fear she would show up and freak me and my "other" friends out. I tried not to talk to her on the phone without Ryan listening in. He LOVED that. Hours upon hours of crazy talk. I couldn't even make up excuses cause D would know the truth. He was in love with her you know. And we were a small group of friends.

Basically I attract crazies. I don't know how. I don't know why. But we don't talk anymore. Classic borderline personality. Once I really made her mad...she shut me out. Completely. I love it. Sadly I also lost my friendship with D. With whom she has married and pro-created with. But...I guess it's a small price to pay at this point. Sometimes the rest of us (those who were friends with D) miss him a lot and want to talk to him. But then we realize it is far better to wonder then to have crazy bitch back in the picture.

End result......I like the friends I have now. I like meeting new people and I am not guarded, but I am careful not to be-friend anyone named after a Disney movie. Or anyone with the crazy bitch eyes. You know the ones I mean.